A book end post for the suicide thread

[dsc]

Given the sad story in that thread and some of the stories it brought out from us, I figured we needed a different kind of thread. I mentioned in that other thread about deciding to kill myself but what I didn't mention the person I ended up talking it out with. He was a fellow member of the choir I was in, named Mike, and straight. He told me it would be OK and that I was OK. For whatever reason I believed him, and he turned out to have been correct.

My point is, that we all have been helped to the otherside by good, decent, straight people. Some of us had great parents, others great siblings, and still others great friends. As we make gains the ranks of the righteous straights has grown. Fewer of us have homophobic parents, more of us have at least a few great straight friends.

So in dedication to Mike I ask for a roll call of the righteous straights. Who helped you through to the other side?

[mom cat]

1. My best friend, hopelessly straight and supportive as the day was long.

[libnnc]

2. the Dean of my junior college

Sitting in her office across the desk from her shaking, blushing, I told her I was gay, no one else on the face of the earth knew, and she said--

"I am honored and privileged to know that. Don't be in a hurry to tell to many people though. You're not crazy. You're not alone. Most of the time I wish I WAS GAY..."

She was a handsome, tall red-head who was from near my hometown. The first woman PhD I'd ever met. She saved my life for sure. Of course I fell madly in love with her after that. :evilgrin:

I haven't talked to her in 15 years.

[MuseRider]

3. Well not quite the same

but it was all my wonderful gay friends who pulled me out of serious depression by welcoming me into the work with them. I did not think I would ever be the same but I am almost back. So, to my GLBT friends, I got your back just like you had mine. Aww heck, I would have your backs anyway but you know what I mean.

[MikeStl]

4. Most of the support I got was from the gay community

Not all but most. I was able to get internet access at 15 through a local university that was nice enough to leave a dialup number with very little security on it. ;) This was before you could really go buy a private dialup account in the area. Once online I found an amazing amount of information and many people to talk to that were going through the same thing. Really helped in making me not feel so isolated. About a year later I had set up a local computer bulletin board system for gay youth. Actually I'd say about half the user base was straight but very supportive. That was really encouraging. It was actually someone I chatted with online that gathered a bunch of information for me on a local gay youth group and helped me get up the nerve to go. About a year later I got up the courage to come out to my mother. After a few months my mother was really supportive.

I always have really mixed emotions whenever people are talking about internet filtering and controlling access to minors. I understand not all minors may have the same street smarts in dealing with predators. However I hope the designers of filtering software that is out there are careful to make sure that that it allows minors access to glbt resources. I do think some filters are needed. I don't think parents should sit over their kids shoulders %100 percent of the time, though, they need some alone time. Especially if the parents are the type that put their visions of who their child should be ahead of their child's wellbeing.

[shrike]

5. I greatly admire my aunt and uncle

both devout Catholics, old school, who not only accepted their daughter's sexuality, but welcomed her partner to their family, with open arms. When that relationship ended years later, they both mourned, feeling as though they had lost one of their own children.

[Meldread]

6. MuseRider

While MuseRider doesn't know me personally, I take a great deal of interest in her posts on these forums. She gives me hope for the future, and her dedication to our cause is... simply beyond words. There are no words to describe how wonderful she makes me feel to see someone just as dedicated - actually, no, more dedicated than many LGBT people to ensuring that we are treated with fairness and equality. She is one of the few straight folks who "get it". She's in a very elite group of people.

If there was a reward to give out to anyone I know for their dedication to the LGBT cause it would be her.

As for my personal life, I had a rough time coming to terms with being gay. I have to say, with out a doubt, the internet saved my life. There was no single person, but instead entire communities. The ability to reach out and realize that I was not alone, that all the pain and suffering I went through was shared by thousands if not millions of others... it gave me the will to carry through the hardships into the person I am today. And I hope to keep growing, and to some day give back as much as I've been given. Without the internet and the ability to just *KNOW* that there are other LGBT people out there, I simply wouldn't be here today.

[MuseRider]

7. Meldread

I am honored that you would say this. I don't think I "get it" as much as I don't get it, know what I mean?

:hug: to every one of you and a big ole kiss.

[Meldread]

8. You're welcome.

Every word is true.

:hug:

On Edit: You know, I bet all the straight people who help LGBT people would like an award.

My idea: A T-Shirt, because we're cheap... and all our money goes to fuel our battles. So, you'll have to settle for a T-Shirt. On the back it can say, "Careful, watch out. I caught the gays." There could be a little guy, with a thermometer in his mouth, looking like he's sick. On the front, across the chest, it could say, "I've become part of the Homosexual Agenda, and all they gave me was this lousy T-Shirt."

:silly:

[dsc]

9. I know this is going to sound really lame

but I honestly forgot Muse Rider was straight. That is how strong her presence here has been. I should have been thinking more I know but you did pick a great lady.

[MuseRider]

11. LOL

I shocked a few on the board of the Kansas Equality Coalition, they thought I was a lesbian. Cracked me up. I considered it high praise, that always gets the bigots too. I think it is very cool that most of us don't have any idea who "is" or who "isn't". Really makes no difference anyway.

Thanks, we are all just people working for people.

[Maddy McCall]

10. I want to commend my gay friends who have helped me through...

rough spots, during different difficult periods in my life. May I list them here?

Kelvin
Paul
Joe
Dustin
Lisa
Terri
Fritz
Kate
And most of all:

Bud, my friend who passed away when I was much younger. He was a pastor in a church here. I can't even begin to explain how he pulled it off...a gay minister in a small church in very-small-town Mississippi. His congregation loved him. He made no apologies to anyone for his sexual orientation. I knew him as a friend--I didn't attend his church; I knew him outside of the church. He helped me through a very rough time in my life. I love you, Bud.

And also:

Keeston, my gay cousin who taught me to do whatever I wanted to in life, and to do it well. He moved away from Mississippi and homophobic parents to Oregon, where he became involved in politics and was hired by the Governor or Oregon to be his assistant. Keeston handled all of the Governor's business, traveled with him, was his confidante. Keeston died about 15 years ago. AIDS. I still have a letter he sent me when I graduated from high school. He begged me to come up to Oregon and go bike riding with him. He loved mountain bike riding....I never went, and I still regret it.