Are 'ex-gay' ministries therapy or spiritual abuse?

[kweerwolf]

Justin Flippen first became aware that he was different in the sixth grade. By the 11th grade, Flippen, who grew up in a Southern Baptist family in Coconut Creek, Fla., realized that his attraction to other boys was not a passing phase.

Flippen, a spiritual young man who was active in his church and sang in the choir, decided to bring what he perceived as his "gay problem" to his parent's attention.

At his parents' urging, Flippen began one-on-one and group counseling with Worthy Creations, an ex-gay ministry affiliated with Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Fort Lauderdale. The Worthy Creations counselor told Flippen, whose parents were divorced, that he was gay because he didn't bond properly with his biological father as a small child, Flippen recalled.

"The counselor said that because I lacked an everyday presence of my biological father in my life that I didn't bond with him and, therefore, developed a same-sex attraction," Flippen recalled.

http://www.washblade.com/thelatest/thelatest.cfm?blog_id=5490

[BOSSHOG]

1. If the basis for the "cure" is "religion"

its nothing but abuse of whatever sort occurs. It is interesting that this lad who grew up in a Southern Baptist family had parents who were divorced. Now how the hell is that for maintaining the sanctity of marriage.

So now we know where gays come from, divorced baptists.

[sam sarrha]

2. I grew up in the Free Holliness Penticostal Church it was HELL

i dont get it..

it is JUST TORTURE.. i grew up in the Free Holiness Pentecostal Church, there is enough torture of children going on there without a death sentence like being gay or caught jerking off or some other mortal sin.. our preacher had 3 affairs with choir women, and just 'Prayed Through' in font of everyone and was forgiven.. but not so easy for the children.. it was hellatious torture and humiliation beyond belief.. and endurance just having to watch it and fear they will pick you at random next time..

[boobooday]

3. I vote spiritual abuse

And it is just tragic.

[Warpy]

4. They think they're doing the right thing, just like the Inquisitors did

several hundred years ago. They're abusing bodies to save souls. They never change, not really, and will always be with us.

Our problem is how to keep them away from any position of power over other people, hard to do when their motives are so pure and their understanding of reality so muddled.

[Maddy McCall]

5. Spiritual Abuse. Of the worst kind.

Their thesis is that being gay is ungodly. This is terrible for teens who are trying to deal with ALL of the pressures of being gay--then to feel that their own religion excludes them IF they make the wrong "choice."

It's really sadistic. Such counseling surely puts these teens at a higher risk for suicide.

I wish that all of those kids could see an educated counselor who encourages them to be themselves. It's really so sad.

My brother is gender dysphoric but still living in the male role and has given up on ever becoming what he feels he is in his heart. His first suicide attempt was after ONE counseling session with "The Shepherd's Staff" or some such nonsensically titled Christian counseling place. He was trying to convince my parents that what he was going through was real and not imagined, and they told him that before they would accept his decision (as if he had control of it), he had to see a counselor of THEIR choosing. Well, the rest is self-evident.

My brother never recovered from my parents' betrayal...my parents still refused to accept my brother's gender identification, even after he went along with their demand.

MOnday of this week, he attempted suicide for his fifth or sixth time (I lose track of how many times--there have been so many).

He's a deeply spiritual person, and he continues to have faith and is perhaps the most Christian person I know, if the criteria includes helping others who need help. He remains a committed Christian (not the church going kind, mind you) even though the majority of Christians around here have mocked him and made fun of him, some to his own face. Once, he was asked to leave a church because, "We don't want your kind here."

Sometimes I feel so misanthropic. People do suck sometimes, and I have to get away from them. It tears my heart out to see my brother live through the pain that has been inflicted on him by supposedly "good Christians."

[xchrom]

6. sorry maddy

your story exemplifies the abuse that it really is.

my best to your brother.

believing that the bible is the inerrant word of god is wrong -- and for my money makes an idol out of the bible.

how can the lving god be always the same -- it makes no sense and simply suggests we should all{i.e. everyone, gay straight and everything in between} go over the cliff period.

thes anti-christians have created an ever renewing well of hate in their churches -- and it's going to be a tough, tough nut to crack.

[ruggerson]

7. It's child abuse

and there should be an organized movement to rescue teens from this kind of horror.

[realisticphish]

8. It's certainly not ethical therapy

Though, I do find it interesting that the counselor talks about a biological critical period for bonding....

seems like they're saying it wasn't a choice, doesn't it....

(Of course, IMHO, critical periods for sexuality are bullshit. All the evidence I've seen points towards hormonal differences, but that's a different discussion)