Is this the right room for a coming-out party?

[Taxloss]

As long as I've been sexual, I've been bisexual. I am MTF TV also. None of this is news to me; also I'm in a very long-term loving relationship with a wonderful woman, that I hope will last the distance. But in the past I have had wondeful relationships with men. None of this is news to her, either.

It was, however, news to my parents. I came out to them two weeks ago. Finally I told them what I have kept secret from everyone, about past boyfriends and so on. They were great, really supportive.

And now I'm on a sort of honesty gig. Now my parents know, I don't care who knows. It's the most enormous relief.

Hello everyone!

On edit: Jeez, I wish these threads weren't on the front page!

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

1. Contrats Taxloss!!!

Thanks for letting us in on your party!!!

[Taxloss]

2. You're welcome!

I think of it as joining your party ...

[dsc]

3. Congrats

I am glad it went well.

[Taxloss]

6. Thank you.

As you can imagine it was a relief to me as well.

[dsc]

9. I know

when it goes well it is like a weight of all the world being lifted. The fear of rejection is so heavy. Great job.

[Taxloss]

10. Heh, I hardly did anything, I just blurted.

Then there was some crying and a hug from Mum. I'm tearing up a bit now. I felt sorry they never met, or even heard of, some lovely boyfriends I had. And I'm just so pleased that after so long I've been able to kill this lie, that I've been given permission to be me.

[Ian David]

4. Yay! Good for you!

:you rock:

[Taxloss]

7. Thanks Ian.

You rock also.

[Redstone]

5. I don't think you need to worry about it being on the front page.

DU seems like the kind of place where it's OK with everyone for anyone to be whatever they are.

Strikes me as such, anyway.

Redstone

[Taxloss]

8. I was more worried about non-DUers.

But then I suppose declaring your sexuaity on an open bulleting board is always going to be a risky business, and I have nothing to fear.

[benburch]

19. They are too busy calling me "Fister"!

Which is funny, and here is why; They cannot read for comprehension over there!

One of my S&M kinks is vaginal fisting. That is, the very careful and slow insertion of the whole hand into a woman's vagina for her sexual pleasure.

They all think I am into anal fisting, which is the insertion of the hand and often much of the forearm into the colon and often as far as the transverse colon.

They think this because I posted on usenet that shoe searches were useless because anal fisting can reach the transverse colon, and so a VERY large bomb could be put into a person's body non-surgically it would not be detectable at an airport screening. I mentioned that I had even seen somebody do a fisting that deep (at a demonstration.)

So they added 1+1 and got 7.

Typical.

But I don't mind, really, as kinky people have come out of the closet to say hello as a direct result!

:rofl:

[Taxloss]

26. I'm aware of fisting.

Indeed, it's hard to ignore. Tried it, did NOT like it.

I'm more a bondage and spanking kinda gal. Which reminds me - where the heck is Of J Temp? Haven't seen her in ages.

I suppose the attentive watchers and people who don't like me on DU will love this thread. I don't care. My parents know,! You can'r do a damn thing! Muahahahahahaha! Wow, that felt good.

[benburch]

33. I see Of J. Temp at this site...

http://liberalunderground.activeboard.com

[Taxloss]

36. Oooh.

She's got a bit bolder about the spanking thing I see. I wish she'd come back here. Give her a friendly swat on the buttock next time you see her from me, wouldja?

[northofdenali]

11. Great BIG

:hug::grouphug::hug:

Some parents are fabulous, aren't they?

[Taxloss]

12. Yeah, they are.

Big :hug: right back.

[Book Lover]

13. Many hugs and congratulations!

I am so very glad to know that it went well. :hug: to you and yours!

[Taxloss]

14. Thank you!

:hug:

[salvorhardin]

15. Congratulations!

That's wonderful you feel comfortable enough that you don't have to keep a very important part of identity secret anymore. What a big step! Woo hoo!

A silly question: I'm not the hippest person. What's MTF TV mean?

[Taxloss]

18. Male to female transvestite.

See my reply to Ben, below.

[salvorhardin]

20. Ah! Thanks for the explanation.

I should have figured that one out on my own. Well, double congrats then! That must have been really tough to tell your parents.

BTW: You look very cute as a woman, if you don't mind me saying.

[Taxloss]

35. Thanks! TVism is still an area that faces massive prejudice.

Far, far worse than the LGB community as a whole, I think. A girl could walk down the street wearing a pair of my male trousers and onje of my male shirts without attracting a second glance. If I tried to do that in her skirt and blouse, I'd run the serious risk of abuse or even a beating. And I live in one of the most TV-tolerant cities on Earth. What's wrong with this picture?

[salvorhardin]

40. In high school we had a kid of Scottish descent

Who decided one day to start wearing kilts to school. You wouldn't believe the uproar. Finally the principal (who was a royal jerk anyway) forced the kid to stop wearing kilts or face expulsion. I think he was suspended beforehand IIRC. Not long after that the school dress code was passed requiring many things, but boys to wear trousers or jeans among them. How ridiculous! There wasn't even a hint of transvestism in this kid and this was was a traditional male dress of his family. And yet even this was too much. Honestly I think many people feel threatened by blurred sexual roles (even though they'll happily shell out big bucks to see their favorite heavy metal rocker wearing fishnets, eye shadow and lipstick). Gawd, thankfully college cured me of most of my learned homophobia (is fear of transvestism properly called homophobia?) and life got rid of the rest.

[benburch]

16. Welcome aboard!

We'll make room in the hot tub.

[Taxloss]

17. LOL - thanks.

As a special treat, here's me en femme:

[benburch]

21. My wife says "Cute nose!"

:-)

[Taxloss]

32. Please thank her for me.

Thank you Mrs Burch!

[beam me up scottie]

22. I'm so happy for you!

Quite a relief, I'll bet.

I love you, Tax.

What an admirable thing honesty is.

[Taxloss]

27. I love you too BMUS!

:hug:

Don't think of it as losing a boyfriend; think of it as me occasionally being a girlfriend ...

[beam me up scottie]

34. I think of you as a friend.

Qualifiers are so 20th century.

[Taxloss]

37. Right on about the qualifiers.

Half the time I don't know what gender I am and what gender I'm pointed at!

Anyway :hug:

[salvorhardin]

41. Bingo!

People is people. Well, occasionally people is also soylent green too, but really there's no need for qualifiers.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

23. Most definitely the right place

Congrats on the honesty and the supportive parents!!!! Welcome to our corner of the DU universe!

Isn't honesty great?! I personally love it. :-)

Anyhow, welcome again, and hi from another "B" in the alphabet soup of letters! :hi:

:party:

[benburch]

24. I remember when we "B" types were totally excluded.

And you know, in any GBLT political discussions, we still are...

[ncrainbowgrrl]

45. Well, that is, until it comes to the donation envelope, you mean.

sorry, I'm a little bitter at the moment.

I know a lot of Bi/Queer folks who work (paid jobs) in GLBT organizations. Unfortunately, what pays the bills are the issues that sell better than others... of course, the campaign du jour is field tested/sexed up to sell. But a lot of the time, I feel left out. And I feel badly that I do feel left out, 'cause at least I can claim heterosexual privledge (I'm married to a man) and just do the "checkbook activism thing." But that's not me. I used to eat, sleep, breathe queer issues back in college when I co-chaired the undergrad LGBT organization-- and there was no support from the school... the whole Gay community had to rely on our board, and the 2 co-chairs; a gay man and a bisexual woman. I usually didn't even bother correcting people when they called me a lesbian...perhaps it was internalized biphobia, or perhaps I was noticing something real within the community.

Perhaps it's not just in the political discussions that exclusion happens? Maybe I've said too much, and will regret this in the morning. :shrug:

[Taxloss]

29. Busy busy Bs.

I think the only people who realise that bis exist and aren't simply dilettantes is bis. I would happily sleep with both Eva Longoria and Joaquin Phoenix.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

46. Now I don't blame you ONE bit... good choices there. :-)

:hi:

(I'm still partial to Gillian Anderson, myself. :blush: )

[ruggerson]

25. A little Auden for your celebration, sir

Congrats on becoming whole. :headbang:


The More Loving One

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

[Taxloss]

31. Thank you very much!

As I said upthread, it's nice to get permission to be me.

[Kerrytravelers]

28. Isn't it easier to breathe outside of the closet?

It seems like it would be so stuffy in there! :)

[Taxloss]

30. That's because it's so bloody crowded!

Thanks for your support.

[Kerrytravelers]

43. I am always supportive of people feeling free to be who they are.

Congratulations on your "Coming Out Party!" :bounce:

[benburch]

38. Stuffy isn't the word!

We just cleaned one we never use... Had some wool sweaters in it. I now know what the grubs of the moths that eat wool look like!

;)

[Siyahamba]

39. Welcome aboard!

:hi:

[Taxloss]

49. Thanks! n/t

[mitchtv]

42. Time for a Toaster !

Call your welcome wagon for extra bonus coupon points, and Free copy of "The Agenda"

[Taxloss]

50. Wow, can I collect air miles as well?

I'm not certain how much time I'll be able to devote to "The Agenda", what with my commitment to the Evile Atheist Conspiracy. People to see, water to fluoridise, family values to undermine - the know the sort of thing.

[tonekat]

44. You've blossomed....

I was at a TS support group tonight, one of the subjects was coming out to family.

You have experienced the wonderful freedom that comes from taking that step that defines who you are.

May you sail through life like a swan on a smooth lake.

[Taxloss]

51. Thank you.

Life's been a bit rocky lately. This is part of the process of changing that.

[southlandshari]

47. Just passing through....

And I hope it's ok for me to post here even though I'm not a regular in this forum. Taxloss is a very good friend of mine, and a wonderful human being, and I just wanted to add my congrats here as well!

:hug: to you, darlin'!!!


I see more than one of my closest DU friends is here - I am so blessed to have you in my life!!

:hi:

[Taxloss]

52. Thank you Shari, I'm sure you know how much that means to me.

:hug: right back.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

54. And I'm glad you're here for the coming out party!

Did you bring the moonpies for Taxloss? I know they're not traditional, but, hey... why be traditional?!

:hug:

[theHOMOagenda]

48. Well Done!

Good for you!

[Taxloss]

53. Thank you! n/t

[Anarcho-Socialist]

55. Congratulations Taxloss!

I'm very happy for you. You're one of my best DU friends and I wish you the greatest happiness. You have very cool parents and a cool partner. :hug: :woohoo:

(BTW - since we're all coming out, I'm actually bisexual too)

[ThomCat]

56. Congratulations!

I'm really glad that your family is supportive. That's awesome.
:Toast:

[Taxloss]

57. Thank you. n/t

[swimboy]

58. Congratulations are definitely in order!!!

I'm very happy for you and what wonderful parents you have!!! I'm glad you've let them back fully into your life. It's a scary step, because you can never know ahead of time how any person will react, and you can't retract the revelation. I hope things continue to improve for you. You are so wonderful it would be a shame not to be yourself!

Lovely picture, BTW!!

I just had a party of my own in the Lounge:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=5053503&mesg_id=5053503

This has been a wonderful place to be out and honest.

:applause: :thumbsup: :applause:

[tjwmason]

59. Congratulations.

It can the very hardest step to take - but it's definitely better for having been taken.

It's wonderful that your parents are supportive - that makes such a difference.

:hug: