My partner was kicked out of a department store for being trans.

[readmoreoften]

My partner is a tg butch dyke. S/he is not comfortable with either pronoun, but will respond to either "he" or "she". She doesn't expect people use "zee", but considers himself 3rd gender. A hard butch dyke. Bathrooms, dressing rooms, and shopping is difficult. One time, she was kicked out of the women's bathroom at Carnegie Hall by security and escorted off the property. Normally, when faced with a choice she prefers men's bathrooms, because she gets fewer stares.

Today he was shopping for a suit. At 26, he is finally graduating from college (after having to drop out of a famous rural Texas University due to homophobia on campus.) The dressing rooms at the Century 21 department store in Manhattan were all separate stall. But when my partner asked for a ticket to try on her suit, they called security. They said that it would "embarrass" their male clientele to see my partner walk into the dressing room on the floor. Eventually, they said that she could go to a different floor and try on suits in a women's dressing room. The friend he was with took photos of the employees and recorded their names.

I just called a lawyer who specializes in trans issues in NYC and the department store is outside of the law on this issue. According to the law in Manhattan, transgendered people must be able to have access to the bathroom or the dressing room of the gender they present as. (In other words, a genetic woman cannot come into a men's dressing room and do a strip tease in front of the communal mirror and just proclaim "But what about me, I'm trans too!") If there are no stalls, they must build them. In other words, if you want to have bathrooms and dress areas with no privacy that's fine, but if people sue you, you'll have to build them anyway.

I'm glad. I'm sick of it. A few months back a little butch lesbian I knew was arrested on 8th street while on her smoke break because she had a pocket knife on her belt (the blade was concealed, the cop recognized that it was a knife by the type of handle) She works in a store room and uses the knife to open boxes. Her boss came out and confirmed that she works in a store room cutting boxes and was on break. The cop arrested her anyway, INTENTIONALLY PROCESSED HER AS A MALE, even though her name is clearly female and she identifies as female. It took her over a day to get out of jail because her paperwork so screwed up.

We are going to present our case to the Human Rights Commission in NYC and the law is pretty solidly on our side. YAY! The law stands up for us!

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

1. I wish you both luck. Let us know how things turn out.

[IndyOp]

2. When you fight for your rights, you fight for us all -

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[William769]

3. Haven't you heard? We are afforded the rights as everyone else.

:sarcasm:

Sorry just to pissed to coment about this right now. :mad:

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

4. I hope it works out, and soon

I fondly recall doing the Dances of Universal Peace in Dallas TX. One of our regulars was a fellow who would come, go into a restroom, and come out wearing women's clothing. We never commented about it, we were just glad he/she came. I thought he/she was brave for doing this in Dallas, of all places, and was glad we offered a safe place to be. He/she never stayed to talk, so I can't say anything more about the incident.

[readmoreoften]

8. I lived in Dallas for 5 years.

Hi aye!

There's an enormous transgender population in Dallas, TX. One of the largest in America. My partner and I lived for awhile in Austin. We got about as much shit there as we do here. There are more of ALL types of people in NYC. Even asshats. I will say, though, that the LAWS here are better. That's what I'm learning.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

23. Just know that you would be welcome

at any Dance Circle I know of. I'm glad you are in a place where the laws are there to protect you. Now make sure they are enforced! Love to you and your partner and friends.

[shaniqua6392]

5. I am so sorry.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Mythsaje]

6. I'd like to see privacy in BOTH male and female restrooms...

But that's just me. There's no feeling of vulnerability like standing a foot away from another guy with your dick in your hand. Freaks me out. I don't like strangers inside my safe zone in a normal situation.

People learn to tolerate things I don't think they should have to tolerate.

I hope your partner shakes things up good. There's no cause to disrespect her and they need to get over their prejudices.

[readmoreoften]

9. I agree. The days of the segregated corrals should be over.

Either we all pee together or we all pee alone. I don't feel comfortable with my partner in women's bathrooms because they act like we're looking at them pervertedly as they wash their hands and apply their lipstick. Then once they leave and head out into the airport or restaurant, they suddenly feel SAFE from our gaze!!! Strange phenomenon.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

7. I have never heard

of the third gender "zee." But that seems like an excellent idea.

Hope zee gets some satisfaction.

[readmoreoften]

10. thanks tallagrannie! /nt

[troubleinwinter]

12. I never heard of zee, either.

I like it. The 'he' or 'she' does not fit all people. If someone does not care to fit into the "two proscribed options", it seems a nice other option.

It seems insane to me that a department store should have any say whatever in trying to fit people into gender slots. Fuck em. If their customers are so fucking sensitive, provide private rooms if they care so much if the feet in the next stall are he, she or zee.

When will we grow up?

[dsc]

11. Good for you and good for NYC

If I could afford to live there as a teacher I would in a heartbeat.

[readmoreoften]

15. Yeah, we'll I won't be here for long because I can't afford it either.

I'd actually rather be elsewhere. I want to go back to Austin, TX.

[dsc]

17. I took a look at the NYC schools website

and my salary would increase by around 15k a year, which of course sounds good. If I managed to get out from under my car I would get another about 4500 a year so call it about 20k more a year. Sadly my rent would increase by well about the same amount. Add in taxes and the rest and I would be broke as the 10 commandments. I hope you find Austin to your liking.

[readmoreoften]

18. I lived in Austin before. Prefer it to NYC.

Right now I'm on strike, paying with my aparment with a combination of strike benefits, loans, and union hardship fund money. When I WAS working, I was only making $19,000 a year and I still had to live on loans. I'm getting an MFA here and working with a very famous novelist. Once the situation ends I am out-of-here.

Teachers in NYC can make a lot but the certification process is insane, I hear. I fantasize about teaching at the Harvey Milk School.

[dsc]

19. that would be sweet

I am currently certified in NC with a Masters so I think I would be OK in that regard. I can't imagine how you could live on 20k in NYC. I am presuming rent alone to be close to that for anything decent. Good luck on the strike. I have never been on strike but my dad has twice. It sucks.

[readmoreoften]

20. I've been on strike for almost 6 months.

I'm speaking at a labor rally on Thursay. I'm gay. My partner's trans. Now I gotta be a damn labor leader, too. :)

Striking is possibly the most stressful thing I've ever been through. It's a teacher strike and we're fighting for the right to stay unionized. A really BASIC struggle. A lot of my GLBT colleagues are scabbing. It's tough. I've lost a lot of acquaintances.

[dsc]

21. You must be one of the NYC university people

I really hope you win. TA's are abused at many colleges.

[readmoreoften]

22. You got it.

I probably shouldn't say what I teach because it might narrow the pool. I will say that I'm ABD (about to get my Ph.D.) at another university and I already have another Masters. Before the strike, I taught my own classes, was the instructor of record, wrote my own syllabi, etc. and the Bush Administration's National Labor Board comes out and says WE'RE NOT WORKERS!

I'm concerned that if they get somewhere with this argument who are the next group of "non-workers"? Secretaries during their first 6 months of training (even if they've been secretaries for 40 years)? At one point, they actually said that we aren't workers; we're either "students" or "management". How's that for logic?

[mongo]

13. Hugs

Sorry that your partner, and you by extension have to put up with that kind of crap.

:hugs:

[readmoreoften]

14. hey mong

:hi:

[terrya]

16. Good for both of you, readmoreoften!

I'm glad your partner is fighting back. He defintitely has a strong case. She and other trans people shouldn't have to put up with bigotry.

Good luck, and please keep us informed, ok?

Terry

[roguevalley]

24. unbelievable that anyone would care. Hugs to you both, honey

[joeybee12]

25. Good luck--I can't believe this could happen in NYC, of all places...

...when I clicked on your thread, I figured this happened in some rural area. Good lord.

[xchrom]

26. good for zee!

keep up the good work!