Please forgive me if this is a stupid question, but...

[Up2Late]

...the reason I'm asking is that I'm just getting over the death of my life-long best friend (I knew him for 32 of my 42 years) who died from complication due to HIV/AIDS in July. His HIV status was probably the only major secret he kept from all of his close friends that I know of, but who knows anymore. He tested positive in 1988, but never told any of us, though looking back now at some old video and pictures from 1988 and 1990, I can definitely see that there was a change in his mood and even his smile around that time.

That said, I don't know if he ever told his Gay friends or casual lovers (which I think he had a lot of), I just know he never told is straight friends, which brings me to the question: Is there any sort of database, website or e-mail address to send his death info to that is set up to notify the Gay community that someone they my have known or had been with has died?

If this is something that does exists, but is sort of kept quiet and off of public websites, feel free to send it to me in a PM.

I've been wondering about this for some time, but thought of it tonight because I finally remembered the name of one of the guys he hung out with here in Atlanta in 1987-88 named "Jolly," but I don't think he ever told me Jolly's last name. We always had an un-spoken agreement that I didn't want or need to know the details of what he did when he went to the bars or "the tubs" (bath houses), so I don't know enough of those details to find and contact any of his past Gay friends.

If you're interested in any more details about my friend, I wrote more in my DU Journal a few months ago. It's still there, so you are welcome to read more there. I can say that he also lived (and partied) in Houston, Texas, Tampa, and Orlando from 1989 to 1992, though I don't remember too many details of those day either, just the basics.

Thanks in advance for any info, and again, if this is a stupid question, please cut me some slack, I'm just trying to help inform my late friend's old friends.

[meegbear]

1. None that I know of ...

but it's an interesting thought.

You may want to check the local gay press. If anything, you could place an ad in the classified section.

[Up2Late]

3. That might be the way to go, but it would have to be very carefully worded ...

...as his family asked me to lie about true reason he died. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you stand on the issue) the request came after I had written about him here at DU, so the info is already out there.

I wonder if the Southern Voice has Death Notice section, any idea?

[dsc]

2. I have no earthly idea if there exists such a data base

but you need to be very careful what you do with this information. Many states have AIDS privacy laws and you need to find out if that privacy is voided by death. Otherwise you could be putting yourself in legal jeopardy. I would find one of his gay friends and let him know what has happened and hope that person would know at least some of his contacts. My guess is that he told at least some of his gay friends he was positive but he might not have.

[Up2Late]

4. I do think that Privacy Laws are voided by death...

...or at least that was the reason the ACLU gave this week for being able to release the medical records of the Late Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist that said that in 1981, when he tried to kick his 10 year Pain Killer habit, he suffered paranoid delusions and tried to sneak out of the Hospital without his cloths, plus a bunch of other odd stuff from his FBI file, but thanks for the reminder that it's best to be cautious with this sort of issue.

Here's the link to the Rehnquist story at NPR:
<http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6722187>

[cwydro]

5. Very, very sorry to hear about your friend.

:hug: