Why do people have the urge to hate and fight?

[Voice for Peace]

in particular, here on DU?

it is a fruitless loop and so unproductive.

[RaleighNCDUer]

1. I never want to fight,

but these people are so WRONG and I'm SURE I can convince them why I am RIGHT.

[RKP5637]

4. LOL - when you're right you're right! n/t

[RKP5637]

2. It pretty much represents a microcosm of society. All of these problems could

be easily cleaned up, but humans always seem prone to hate and fight. IMO it's endemic to the species and appears hard coded in the brain.

[Drale]

3. Them are fighting words sir

:rofl:

[DJ13]

5. I dont like fighting

I just like arguing.

[applegrove]

6. I know how to argue but don't like it so I try and stay out of it as much as is possible.

I used to discuss issues on the open boards but found the GOPers too formatted and unfair. If I wanted to get exploited I would have married an asshole. I don't. So I came to the DU and find it pretty peaceful in comparison.

[freshwest]

7. We play the dark and light off against each other. And we are very individualistic. It does get ...

Tiring when you see the Simon Cowell wannabes trying to sound smart and run over other people. They have no idea how obvious they are nor how shallow and pointless their snarks are.

Some of the most virulent attacks on others are motivated by what people seem to believe is 'right for them' without taking a step back and considering that in order to have peace, any solution must be 'right for all.' They are afraid they won't make it if their little piece of the national pie doesn't keep growing.

(On another level, I hate 'the right' and 'conservatives', want to drown the GOP in a bathtub, and in general do some serious mayhem to those who are destroying the world.)

Peace and Love fellow DUers, though. We'll make it through...

[valerief]

8. Kootchy kootchy koo! Who's a good poster? Who's a good poster?

You! Yes, you're a good poster. What a good little poster!

:hug: :loveya:

[Voice for Peace]

12. haha that's more like it

[DeSwiss]

9. ....

[demosincebirth]

10. So far, have you gotten your answer?

[Voice for Peace]

16. expanded my perspective

[demosincebirth]

20. Good. nt

[trotsky]

11. Why do people think that telling someone they are wrong...

is "hating" or "fighting"? :shrug:

Sometimes, people are wrong. And sometimes, that wrongness puts others in danger. A lot of Republicans accused us Democrats of "hating" George Bush because we opposed his destructive, harmful war in Iraq. Would you agree with those Republicans?

[HuckleB]

13. +1

[laconicsax]

14. Nailed it. n/t

[Voice for Peace]

15. when a person perceives an attack, it's human nature to be defensive,

in which case effective communication becomes unlikely.

Even if you are right, and person x is wrong -- if they
feel attacked, you're unlikely to convince them
they are wrong.

If a communication doesn't educate one or hopefully
both parties, thereby furthering the welfare of all,
what is the point of debating about right and wrong?

It's just a bunch of words, & often
they are unkind, sarcastic, even dishonest words.

Often the words are intended not to enlighten but
to insult or diminish the other person.

This doesn't bring about democracy, just more division.
Good communication is an art form and a powerful,
peaceful weapon.

The question is not whether one way of communicating
is right or wrong; only whether it is effective.

If effective communication isn't the goal, what is?

[trotsky]

17. I noticed you completely avoided answering my question.

I think I know why.

[Voice for Peace]

18. you think you know why, but probably you don't.

what is your question, the one I didn't answer?

[trotsky]

21. Naw, it's even more clear now that you avoided again.

Hint: look at the last sentence of the post, the one that ends with a question mark.

[Voice for Peace]

22. ok but there were 2 questions in your post.

"Would you agree with those Republicans?"

I think lots of people hated Bush & most of what he did.

And you didn't answer my question either, since we're keeping track.

[trotsky]

23. Ah, so you DO agree with the Republicans who screamed "BUSH HATERS!" at the rest of us.

OK, thanks for clarifying. Here's some helpful advice: if you waste so much energy getting upset and having to do a superior dance every time someone isn't polite enough to you, you're just going to end up being more frustrated. I've been wrong before - believe it or not! - and have been told so in some pretty rude ways. But that didn't change the fact that I was wrong, and my poor little feelings weren't hurt because I'm an adult and I can get over it.

(Oh - and here's something else for you to chew on: you're keeping the "fruitless loop" going.)

[Voice for Peace]

24. I rest my case.

[trotsky]

25. By continuing the loop.

:rofl:

[Voice for Peace]

26. you are ridiculous.

[trotsky]

27. But you keep the loop going!

:rofl:

Oh, and on edit:

Someone once said "It's just a bunch of words, & often they are unkind, sarcastic, even dishonest words. Often the words are intended not to enlighten but to insult or diminish the other person."

Do you think calling someone "ridiculous" falls under this description?

[Voice for Peace]

28. lol

yeah, no.. intended only to enlighten.

[trotsky]

29. LOL indeed.

Sucks to be condemned by your own words. And here you thought you were better than everyone else.

Keepin' the loop alive!

[Voice for Peace]

30. you're mistaking me for yourself.

[trotsky]

31. The "I'm rubber and you're glue" comeback?

Classic! Keepin' the loop alive!

[BuddhaGirl]

19. +1

n/t

[LeftishBrit]

32. I doubt that many people have an 'urge to hate and fight' just for the sake of doing so

Some do, I'm sure; but this is not the main story. People have strong opinions on certain subjects and do feel strongly about them. I don't think this is the same as 'hating'.

What exactly are you recommending? That people should always agree, which is not practicable; or that they should express disagreement in different ways than they sometimes do?

If someone has attacked you personally or called you names, then I think you should alert; but if it's just strong viewpoints, I think that's different from an 'urge to fight'.

[Voice for Peace]

33. If people disagree, but don't really listen/read, or understand the other's point of view

there is little chance that a mutually-beneficial exchange will take place.

There's a level between plain disagreement and DU-alertworthy. People often take their strong opinions and use them as a weapon -- not to help the other person understand, but seemingly only to negate the other's point of view.

If a person doesn't care about whether their strong opinions are understood, it makes no difference how they communicate. They can be as nasty as they please.

But if they really want to convey something that matters, then the tone of communication makes a huge difference.

[laconicsax]

34. You once accused me of not understanding your point of view...

Yet you refused to entertain the possibility that I did understand your possibility, and refused to consider that your point of view was incorrect and understand someone else's. I find it amusing that you started a thread to complain about Internet argument and now say that the problem is other people doing exactly what you've done.

Take good look in the mirror, Voice for Peace. You've just shown yourself to be as much of the problem as those you accuse of "hating and fighting."

[trotsky]

35. +1 n/t

[Voice for Peace]

36. If you understood my point of view, you would cease your harassment,

and you would take a look in your own mirror.

[HuckleB]

37. Looking at your posts on the health forum this week, the question in the OP seems odd.

It's a question you should be asking yourself, not others. Further, your posting has been angry and a bit obsessive, yet you are accusing others of harassment?

Something does not wash here.

[Voice for Peace]

38. It is a question I do ask myself and something I try to understand.

[laconicsax]

40. I understand your POV but find it highly flawed.

You see, understanding someone else's point of view doesn't equate to agreement. I understand the Fundamentalist Christian point of view but don't agree with them on any point of it. Is it harassment to correct a Creationist when they start spouting unscientific garbage?

[LibertyFox]

39. An unfortunate side-effect of sentience

Since we have no other sentient species to study there might be something to the idea that specifically because of the fact that we're able to both reason and feel that this might lead to inevitable conflict.

Animals fight. They fight over food, territory, mates, etc. But humans are able to fight over reasons. Politics demonstrates this over and over again. We can all want to see good things happen and others prosper but we can fight viciously because we have reasoned and come up with different conclusions on how to achieve it.