A New Gauge to See What’s Beyond Happiness

[groovedaddy]

Is happiness overrated?

Martin Seligman now thinks so, which may seem like an odd position for the founder of the positive psychology movement. As president of the American Pyschological Association in the late 1990s, he criticized his colleagues for focusing relentlessly on mental illness and other problems. He prodded them to study life’s joys, and wrote a best seller in 2002 titled “Authentic Happiness.”

But now he regrets that title. As the investigation of happiness proceeded, Dr. Seligman began seeing certain limitations of the concept. Why did couples go on having children even though the data clearly showed that parents are less happy than childless couples? Why did billionaires desperately seek more money even when there was nothing they wanted to do with it?

And why did some people keep joylessly playing bridge? Dr. Seligman, an avid player himself, kept noticing them at tournaments. They never smiled, not even when they won. They didn’t play to make money or make friends.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/17/science/17tierney.html?_r=1&ref=science

[InvisibleTouch]

1. Very interesting article, thanks!

Especially relevant, I think, was the part about people at some point getting no more positive boost out of winning a game or acquiring something or accumulating more money - they are just doing it to do it, like automatons. We get desensitized to the good things in our lives. If those little victories had an added meaning, though, they would still produce a positive effect.

[SheilaT]

2. Yes an interesting article.

I also think that it demonstrates how very, very flawed survey research can be.

This is my take on the whole happiness thing: (although I'd need to write at least a 10,000 word article to cover it fully)

We are surrounded by a LOT of messages. Messages to consume. Messages that tell us we will find the right mate if we only use the correct mouthwash. Messages that we will be slender if we only eat the correct ice cream. Messages that with the right credit card we can go off on an exotic vacation at any time.

In short the messages say that the true path to happiness lies outside ourselves. I disagree. I feel that it lies inside, in being true to ourselves and our values. Many, maybe most of us need to overcome negative messages that were given to us from a very early age. If they are overcome, almost nothing can knock us down again. But that's incredibly difficult.

People stay in jobs that make them miserable and make excuses for why the can't leave. They remain in toxic relationships. They buy into the idea that they have to sacrifice and be miserable themselves to make others happy. None of that works, none of that leads to a fulfilling life.

All of the reasons to remain in miserable situations come from outside. From family, from church, from school, from work, from the culture at large. Throw away those messages, I say, and live your life authentically.

I am NOT advocating harming others in any way, just refusing to buy into a lot of the crap that's out there.

[groovedaddy]

3. True and you're right about how difficult it is to over come the negative programming. Therapists

make a living from it. The sins of the parents are, in deed, visited upon the children.