Dorothy Bishop: How to become a celebrity scientific expert

[LeftishBrit]

Maybe you’re tired of grotting away at the lab bench. Or finding it hard to get a tenured job. Perhaps your last paper was rejected and you haven’t the spirit to fight back. Do not despair. There is an alternative. The media are always on the look-out for a scientist who will fearlessly speak out and generate newsworthy stories. You can gain kudos as an expert, even if if you haven't got much of a track record in the subject, by following a few simple rules.



Rule #1. Establish your credentials. You need to have lots of letters after your name. It doesn’t really matter what they mean, so long as they sound impressive. It’s also good to be a fellow of some kind of Royal Society. Some of these are rather snooty and appoint fellows by an exclusive election process, but it’s a little known fact that others require little more than a minimal indication of academic standing and will admit you to the fellowship provided you fill in a form and agree to pay an annual subscription. So sign up as a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine, and keep good company with a range of naturopaths, homeopaths and chiropracters who have discovered this easy route to eminence. The really nice thing is that even academics can be hoodwinked by this one.


Rule #2. Find a controversial topic. This is key. You have to be willing to take a definite position on something that people have strong views about. A scare story is good - we’ve all been doing X for years but it could damage us. Finding someone to blame is also good - people who do Y are feckless. And the buzz word of the decade is neuroscience, so if you can work that in, success is guaranteed. If you're short of ideas, the list of the right might help inspire you. A recent article in the Biologist hits the spot with “The biological effects of day care”, managing to get us worried about an everyday activity, blame working mothers, and get in a neuro message all at once. It's even spiced up with a bit of conspiracy theory: experts know that day care is bad for children’s brains but nobody is allowed to speak out because it is too politically sensitive. This presses so many buttons that few journalists could resist the story.

And a lot more at link!

http://deevybee.blogspot.com/2011/09/how-to-become-celebrity-scientific.html

[xchrom]

1. Excellent! I shall be busy for the rest of this week gathering letters to put

Behind my name.

What is left of the week after that - I shall seek Fellowships.

Which I was likely to do at the local gay bar or bath house.