.......via Daily Kos
I'm dying. Updated
by kwickkick
Fri Jan 02, 2009 at 06:13:35 PM PST
The results from some tests came back today. I have pancreatic cancer. It is untreatable. I will die in 2009. I am not telling you this for pity, or for whining. I have known this was coming for awhile, and have made my peace with it. I am telling you this to urge you on in your fight for universal health care. And to urge you to continue to fight to support the Obama administration, loudly, whenever you feel you can.
kwickkick's diary :: ::
My doctor says it probably would not have made a difference, but I have delayed seeing a physician for two years, even though I have had a series of symptoms. I have been unable to qualify for health insurance that I could afford -- and even if I could, my cancer would have been deemed a preexisting condition unless I had the insurance before two years ago.
I cut back on everything -- movies, clothes, restaurants, hot water, air conditioning (in Texas), cost of each meal -- and saved up my money so that I could see a doctor. I still didn't want to spend so much, and delayed everything until the symptoms became too serious (I was taken to an emergency room -- and was booted to a county hospital when they found out I had no insurance, but made too much to qualify for medicaid.)
Eventually, I saw my doctor, and paid what I could. What was so frightening to me was not the fact that I was ultimately diagnosed with cancer -- again, it would not have made a difference with my type -- but the number of people I met in the waiting rooms who had done the exact same thing I had done. They had delayed and delayed seeing a doctor, despite the pain and difficult symptom, because they couldn't afford it. We all knew that their chances were far worse -- we were all at an oncologists office, and we all knew that delay made cancer fatalities far more likely. An air of acceptance permeated the room; we could not change where we were.
These people didn't have to be there. They didn't have to risk death. Many of my new friends, I have no doubt, will die soon because they could not get insurance.
...more
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/1/2/205744/4140/761/679622Update from a friend.......
Kwickkick has died. He wanted me to tell you something. Wed: Thank you and a gift of a Matthew song
by kwickkick
Tue Feb 03, 2009 at 04:22:30 PM PST
My name is Rebecca Schuler. I am a friend of Matthew, who I think you knew as kwickkick. He asked me to post something here for him. He died on Saturday from cancer. He said that some of you wanted to know about his trip to Europe. I went with him and he was the happiest I have ever seen him. He only managed to go to London, Sheffield, Milan and Zurich. The plan was to take him several more places, but his health didn't hold up. We came home and not too long afterwards he went into hospice. He was in a great deal of pain on Friday and they began using a fair amount of morphine. We were told he would probably die over the weekend. Several friends and family members were there with him until the end. His death was very peaceful. On Thursday, he asked me to record something he wanted to tell you and asked me to post it this week.
kwickkick's diary :: ::
This is a transcription of what Matthew had to say:
"I wanted to say hello to everyone and thank you for all of the support you gave me earlier. First off, I want to be sure of one thing. Do not feel sorry for me. Do not feel sad. I lived long enough to see Europe, at least the parts I most wanted to see. I lived long enough to see Barack Obama inaugurated as President of the United States. I have had a very good life, surrounded by friends and people I loved and who loved me. I don't think I would change a thing. So, no sorrow and no pity.
Next, I wanted to encourage you and remind you of what matters. We are at an epochal moment in our history. We have the chance through Barack Obama to change the world. It is not going to change the way any of us individually wants it to. None of us will ever get everything we want. What will happen us that the world will become a better place. People will have more opportunities. The poor will be lifted up. Life will not seem so bitter and bleak. America will become a world leader again and will be able to use its power to make people's lives in every country better. There will not be bombs dropped indiscriminently on brown people, simply to flex our muscle. Lives worldwide will improve.
There will be people who try to stop this. Some conservatives, though not all, will hope that Obama fails. These are the people who care only for their own philosophies and not for their fellow man. They should be ignored. But in ignoring them, we cannot forget them. We have to fight as a unified group, supporting Obama in his efforts. We have to use all of our power to help things improve.
I know we will have differences. Put them aside. It is so easy to focus on where we don't agree and to lose the big picture. Fight until we win. Fight until there are jobs and healthcare and peace. Then we can begin arguing about the details. Be sure to remember the forest. It is the most important thing.
I doubt I'll be speaking to you again, but I really don't have anything left to say. Again, no sorrow. Just remember me and remember what we are fighting for.''
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/2/3/18591/68645/927/692685
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