My husband was just diagnosed with cancer.

[GentryDixon]

He had a mole on his leg removed last week. The call came today that it is stage 2 and he must be seen. The problem we have is he is 2500 miles away at our second home in NC. He left Salt Lake Wednesday to see his cousin Bruce. Bruce is dying of cancer so he wanted to be there for support. Now he finds out the mole the Doctor excised and told him not to worry about is cancerous so he must return home to take care of it.

My husband is devastated by Bruce only having days left in this mortal life, and just trying to absorb the idea of his own mortality. I on the other hand am by myself in Utah trying to deal with both consequences.

I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I dealt with my mortality last March when I was told I was in stage 3 kidney failure. I have accepted my choice, no dialysis, no transplant. But I am having a hard time dealing with the fact my husband may have to face the same fate. Both his parents are still living, as well as all but one of his siblings. He lived away from them in excess of 30 years, so now that we are retired he is trying to get re-acquainted. Plus the fact that he has never been able to accept any malady. I didn't tell him about my diagnosis for 9 months. The only reason I finally broke down and told him was because he wanted to trade in our 5th Wheel for a Motor Home!

I feel better just putting my feelings on paper (?). On the other hand, I am listening to Sen Haley Barbour in the background and he makes me want to puke. :puke:

Edited for spelling.

[brentspeak]

1. Prayers for you, your husband, and family

[boobooday]

2. You are enduring so much more than your share

Best wishes. Hold each other tight, and accept my virtual hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Haley Barber makes me want to puke too, and so does Lindsay Graham.

:puke:

[AzDar]

3. That's awful. All the best to you and your family.

----Darlene:hug:

[The Traveler]

4. Aw damn

I hate hearing that sort of news ... please accept my best wishes. Him ... cancer. You ... kidney failure! "Best wishes". God, words like that seem so impossibly thin at moments like this!

:hug:

Trav

[UrbScotty]

5. (((GentryDixon)))

:hug:

[peace13]

6. I will think good thoughts for you.

This life is a wild ride. Peace and love, Kim

[roguevalley]

7. God, honey. I hug you. I don't know what else to say but that you

and your husband and cousin are loved.

[11 Bravo]

8. I would be hard pressed to think of anyone with more right to feel sorry for themselves.

You are in my prayers. (12 years ago I was diagnosed with a particulary virulant form of throat cancer. Surgery and radiation worked, and I am as good as new today. May your family enjoy a similar result.)

[GentryDixon]

10. Thank you so much.

Good news about your outcome. ;)

[Warpy]

9. This sucks and I am so sorry.

I never know what else to say when horrible stuff happens to good people.

[noiretextatique]

11. I am so sorry

:hug: we have a cancer support forum here at DU:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=380

i found it invaluable when i was diagnosed with breast cancer...i am a one year survivor :woohoo: people do survive cancer, so i pray your husband is one of us. this one is for you :hug:

[Botany]

12. Stuff

I can't begin to tell you that I know what you are going through.

You have all my best thoughts and prayers.

Have your husband talk to his doctor about getting a chance
to spend more time w/ his cousin .... I am sure they can find
a way that he can.

My Dad has had stage 4 metastatic melanoma for almost
9 years now ... knock on wood ... they are real good @
treating it now.

I wish you all the best and know that you will face these
hard tests not alone but w/ friends and family.

take care.

[kstewart33]

13. No it's very likely that your husband will be okay.

If his cancer is melanoma (the most invasive of skin cancers), stage 2 means that the carcinoma is a localized tumor and has not spread to nearby lymph nodes or metastasized to distant sites.

His doc is urging speed because it needs to be removed ASAP. BUT it has not spread to any organs. So overall, that is good news.

Get him home fast. Get it removed. They will likely remove tissue below and around the site, but that will be okay.

I'm not a doctor, but my husband has had 4 surgeries for basel cell carcinoma (the least dangerous kind). So I've read a good bit about skin cancer.

Good luck to you and your husband. Cancer of any kind stinks.

[GentryDixon]

14. Thank you so much.

I will pass this on to him. We have a flight back on the 18th. I am waiting on the Dr's office for info on his appointment with the necessary doctor.

You give me hope. :D

[kstewart33]

16. You're very welcome.

One other suggestion: Once your husband has had surgery, find the very best dermatologist in your area who has a great deal of experience in dealing with skin cancer. He/she will watch your husband like a hawk. Most likely, every six months for the rest of his life, your husband will go see the dermatologist who will examine him thoroughly and will likely conduct other noninvasive tests.

This approach will give you and your husband assurance and comfort that everything is being done, and that if the cancer were to reoccur, the reoccurrence will likely not be a late-stage reoccurrence.

[GentryDixon]

18. We are very Lucky.

The dermatologist I normally see is less than 1 mile from home. He is associated with the University of Utah and they are associated with the Huntsman Cancer Institute.

His Doctor did tell him he would have to follow up with dermatologist appointments every 6 months.

I have hope.

[dgibby]

15. All my best wishes to both of you.

First, about you. My mother was told she needed dialysis, which she refused; however, she followed a fairly strict renal diet and confounded her doctors and all of us by living several more years (finally died at 86 of an unreated illness)!
Second, about your hubby. I'm an RN and know that 2nd stage is very treatable, and has a good prognosis if treated in time. John McCain's melanoma was far more advanced and he is doing well.
Third, know that DU cares and we're here for you, so feel free to share with us anytime you need to, and please keep us posted. :grouphug:

[GentryDixon]

19. This means a great deal to me.

Thanks so much.

As far as my kidney disease. My sister (brittle diabetic) died 12 years after a transplant failed. I saw what she went through with the first failure, and the transplant. I know the great expense involved. I have good insurance (BCBS federal retired), but I do not feel the expense is worth it. I decided to take my life as it comes, and come what may. There is no way I will saddle my husband and son with bills that may bankrupt them.

I did start taking vitamin B1 last month after reading the story on DU about the reversal of kidney damage. I have an appointment with my Nephrologist on Tuesday. We'll see if it has made any difference.

[applegrove]

17. Vibes to your family.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

20. would a "cancer center" be of help? there's so many things to know

My friend's husband has throat cancer, and the doctors didn't tell him everything before
they did some of the treatments.

I am wondering if at a cancer center, your husband would be better informed before trying
the different treatments.

I don't know, its something to consider.

I am truly sorry that you (two) are going through this and send you positive feelings.

[question everything]

21. You should not go at it alone

for both you and your husband. Talk to someone at the hospital, get referral from your doctor's office. Both of you, please find real people, not just cyber ones on DU, to talk, to listen and to share.

I wish you strength and hope that both of you will find a path of comfort and support.