Mom who crushed baby says don't co-sleep

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health/2009/02/23/cohen.cosleep.dangers.cnn

A bit one sided but all in all a pretty good piece. Inevitable flame war to begin in 5 4 3 2....

David

[villager]

1. well, never crushed either of my boys... always wonder if the adult sleepers are medicated

...when you hear of incidents like this...

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

4. That is often the case.

Medicated, intoxicated, both and/or extremely exhausted.

David

[barbtries]

7. i slept with all four of my babies

no incidents. i'm with you. it's so hard to see how it could happen. like that woman who forgot she hadn't dropped her baby off at the sitter's and left her to die in the car while she went to work. i know she didn't mean to kill her daughter, but how do your FORGET your daughter?

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

10. I don't think it's that hard to see how it could happen.

Medication, alcohol, illicit drugs and/or complete and total exhaustion. Combine that with huge comforters and pillow top mattresses and you have a recipe for disaster. I, of course, realize that you didn't do any of these things. The parents of the children I have to treat don't necessarily share the same ideas about good parenting.

David

[barbtries]

28. you mean

you've seen multiple cases of mothers smothering their babies while asleep? this is the second case i've heard of in my lifetime, and the first one was over 30 years ago - the mother was so far gone that she died as well, of an overdose.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

29. I've researched it quite a bit and been sent to some conferences.

SIDS cases were becoming almost epidemic in a city in another state close by. They had a conference. Much of it was about distinguishing between SIDS and accidental suffocation. About one half of their cases of SIDS were obvious accidental suffocation but the medical examiner refused to list it and called them SIDS deaths instead. Accidental suffocation was at least suspected in some of the other cases. Abuse was discovered in many of the others. A small percentage were true SIDS deaths. Then I spoke with a former medical examiner in another large city, he said he would estimate that the vast majority of the SIDS cases he saw were accidental suffocation. Not all accidental suffocations are from co-sleeping though.

David

[Kittycat]

11. I kind of wish my son still would sleep with me, I miss the cuddle time.

He just turned two (Sunday), and around one he decided he wanted to play instead of sleep - so he needed to be in his crib (in our room). At 18mo or so, he got his own room. When he was very tiny/newborn - I had a moses basket in a stand that butted right up against the bed, and kept my hand near him all night, before he got bigger and moved in to bed with us. That was probably the best. That's how it goes I guess, they have to grow up some time, and usually on their own terms.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

13. That seems pretty safe.

They grow up fast don't they.

David

[GreenPartyVoter]

24. I did too, but my hubby is a clueless kind of sleeper so he was banished for the first

4 months or so with the new babies.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

2. I wouldn't do it. I'm too much of a restless sleeper.

I don't know if I'd crush a child, but he/she would probably have a lousy night's sleep.

[Taverner]

3. Sigh

:popcorn:

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

5. Don't forget to share.

[Donnachaidh]

6. and if I *hadn't* taken my son into bed with us he'd be DEAD now.

After the fully-packed Highboy dresser crashed into his crib during the Northridge earthquake. There's no hard and fast rule on this area.

:shrug:

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

8. Not leaving a fully packed highboy dresser by the crib in earthquake country seems like a good rule.

Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

David

[Donnachaidh]

9. uh dear -- it was IN a closed closet.

Completely out of the way. We were two blocks from the epicenter.

facts cure snark. :eyes:

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

12. My apologies wasn't trying to be snarky, trying to be funny, didn't work.

Things can move quite a ways during an earthquake. I didn't think you'd actually put a thousand pound piece of furniture balanced on one leg next to your kids crib. My apologies again for the implication.

David

[Donnachaidh]

20. my apologies back at you -- I'm still traumatized years later.

He would have been in the crib if I hadn't broken my foot the day before. That thought haunts me still. So I tend to get cranky thinking about it.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

22. Who would have thought a broken foot was a good thing, eh?

My apologies again, should have known better.

David

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

17. Well, that's another reason for me not to move to California. nt

[Donnachaidh]

19. it's the reason we left California. n/t

[MADem]

14. If you do co-sleep, you should put the child up high, at your head and shoulders

Or put the kid in a drawer--kinda hard to roll over on 'em if they're in a box.

[Tikki]

15. Like anything concerning the family.....

deep felt feelings on whether baby should be sleeping with parents should be
discussed before baby/ies arrive.

A baby/ies in bed are not always conducive to a good night's sleep for
mom and/or dad or the person who has to go to work in the morning.

Tikki

[villager]

16. I found my babies -- well, former babies! -- slept better this way

...and thus, it became easier to get a good night's sleep. I was still married in those days, and the Ex found it easier to commence "night nursing" as well...

[Donnachaidh]

18. why is it that babies around the world sleep fine with their parents

I'm skeptical as hell over this story. Far too few details for me to be satisfied with it. I didn't sleep with my kid every night, but we had him in bed with us about 50% of the time. Even at 4 months old.

I'm wondering if she slept with the kid on a couch? I could see THAT being a real possibilty of problems.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

23. A few thoughts.

There aren't many pillow top mattresses and 10 pound comforters in the 3rd world. When you weigh 100 lbs and sleep on the ground you have much less chance of rolling over on your kid than if you weigh 220 lbs have sleep apnea, work 2 jobs, take sleeping pills and sleeping on a 20 inch thick mattress. Most of these accidents arise out of unsafe sleeping conditions and unsafe acts. It seems fairly common for responsible parents to be skeptical about these cases.

David

[GreenPartyVoter]

25. Yes, I think you've got a lot of it right there. I didn't get a pillowtop until after

the kids were much bigger.

[Dervill Crow]

21. Each of our babies slept with me until the next one came along.

Guess we were lucky! My husband works nights, so it was usually just me and the kidlet. I can't in good conscience say I am any better a mother than the woman in the video, but I'm a light sleeper even when exhausted. My dog can wake me up by staring at me while I sleep.

[semillama]

26. If ONLY Llamababy would sleep in the co-sleeper!

Of course, he's less than a month old, and appears to be in the "4th trimester" where they don't sleep well without direct human contact. We put him in the co-sleeper and he will fuss and fidget and eventually starts crying. Where he sleeps best? on my wife's or my own lap. Which of course means WE don't sleep...

When the kid is in the bed, the pillows and covers are far away from him, regardless of how awake his parents are.

I'm really looking forward to when the kid settles down a bit and he can sleep in the co-sleeper, so my wife can get some decent sleep (and we can all sleep in the same room). Right now, she spends her nights on the couch with the kid - she can't stand sitting in the dark when the kid is up, she gets really bored. Plus, she has tinnitus, so being in the living room with the TV on is what is working best for her.

[IDFbunny]

27. Almost killed my cat

When one of my kittens was young she siddled up to my right side. One early a.m. I woke up for some reason. I was on top of my cat! she couldn't move or scream. Ever since she always snuggled on my left side as she learned the hard way I tend to roll to the right (no pun). Then she also tended more to the pillow as well.

[Orrex]

30. Our kids beat the shit out of us every time we tried to have them sleep in the same bed with us

It's like bedding down with a Tazmanian devil who's wearing steel-toed boots.

Brutal little stinkers, both of them!

[mzmolly]

31. There are safe ways to co-sleep.

For example, remove the bars from a crib, butt it up to the bed and let the baby have their own sleep area. This way parents are near, but not likely to roll over onto a child.



This method has been deemed a "sidecar" arrangement by Dr. William Sears.

Additionally, not to blame the Mother in the story, but I can't imagine not knowing a child is underneath you? I'd wake up if a sock was under me, let alone a child. People have to know themselves and their sensitivity to their children before embracing the idea of co-sleeping.

I will say, I don't think it's ever wise to have a small baby sleep between two adults.