Transracial adoption?

[lightningandsnow]

I came across this website today: http://www.transracialabductees.org/ . Basically it's a group of people who are against white people adopting chilren of color, because it assimilates the children into white culture and gets rid of their identity. Or something.

I have to admit, I was a little hurt when I read this. OK, a lot hurt. I'm white/Jewish, and it's kind of been a lifelong dream of mine to adopt children when I'm older. Especially children with disabillities, or those who've been abused. I want to be able to give these children a loving home - regardless of what race or ethnicity they may be. It's not because I think I'd automatically make a better parent than a person of color. I'm not a racist - in fact, aren't I less of a racist, since I wouldn't discriminate based on what race the kids are?

Does anyone want to explain this to me?

[fenriswolf]

1. xenophobia

[Warpy]

2. Some kids who grow up in multiracial households

have a severe identity crisis as they get older and realize they don't look quite like Mom & Dad, like their siblings, or they look more like someone outside the family. They start asking questions about where they came from and where they're going to fit in. This usually starts to happen around middle school time and continue through the twenties.

It can be very tough on the kids who haven't had people from their ethnic group around throughout childhood.

Still, it has to be better than the alternative, the foster system or group home. They'll still have the identity crisis in those situations, but they won't have the support system to help them deal with it.

That's part of the story, from the kid's point of view.

There are also cultures, mostly tribal cultures in this country, that have had a history of their kids being stolen away and either sent to boarding schools without their parents' permission or being taken as infants by missionaries and adopted out into white families, again without either tribal or parental permission. Adopting their children into non tribal families is a double whammy for these folks. They know the kids will be confused and they usually can't afford to lose more of the tribe that way, whether or not there's a decent alternative for the kid within the tribe.

That's a big part of the resistance to adopting infants and children of color into white families. There is a cultural loss, and the kid is always going to feel it one of those days and it will be very hard for the kid to deal with.

[Nay]

3. I can't explain it to you, because I think it's racist of that group to

think that. We're all in the AMERICAN culture here, and if this group thinks that black/Asian etc kids won't know anything about their racial heritage because they are being raised by white folks, well, I have serious doubts about that. I see plenty of black kids here in the South, for example, who don't even know or appreciate what their grandparents went through in the Civil Rights era, and they grew up in black families. So the idea that only black relatives can give you that perspective goes in the crapper right there. And what about the white people who marched with black people back then? What are we, chopped liver?

Of course, you aren't going to place a black kid with the local KKK leader, but he wouldn't want the kid anyway--truly, only non-racist people would consider what you want to do. So, yes, it is hurtful of that group to say such things, and bad for kids, too -- the dirty little secret behind this is that many black families do not want to adopt black children (the fathers want their own, not to adopt) and black churches have been trying for many years to turn that attitude around with little success. And orphaned black children suffer.

[Boojatta]

4. Why do they support such a weak approach to avoiding

assimilation of the children into white culture? Shouldn't they be pushing for full racial segregation in schools, residential neighborhoods, workplaces, etc.?

[WHEN CRABS ROAR]

5. The faster we mix this world up the better.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

6. My sister adopted dark skinned children (we're European caucasian)

The end result has been that dark skinned folks everywhere are helpful to her. One dark skinned woman said to her, "By doing this, you are showing me that you love me too." I think the only solution to race will be the mixing of all races till there are no races left.

[Mojorabbit]

7. I tried in the 80's

and all that were available were children of color. I was fine with that but the state would not let me adopt because of this. I did not care what color the child was but they did. I was made to be a mother but instead I am an aunt to many children and many animals and there is a child out there who spent his growing up years in foster care because of this attitude.