Shop Till You Drop

[Crewleader]

JOKES FOR THE WEEK OF
DECEMBER 2, 2007 Compiled by Carolyn Kaiser

MY FAVORITE FOUR LETTER WORD.

SALE

and

Happy Hanukkah

ARE YOU THE GRINCH?

You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)

You steal light bulbs from your neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)

You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)

You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).

You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

At the office Christmas party, you hoard huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)

You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (5 points )

After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over.

enjoy...http://www.suddenlysenior.com/jokeslatest.html... :hi:

[Warpy]

1. "Money's tight, times are hard

So here's your fucking Christmas card," complete with Santa giving the finger.

My mother sent me that one. I think I still have it.

[Crewleader]

2. Your Mom had a great sense of humor Warpy.

:-)