I'm starting to get worried about myself. I seem to cry at the

[Booster]

drop of a hat; at movies, at commercials, at Oprah's show, etc. I'm hoping it's just because the last 8 years have been so horific and I'm just releasing emotions that have built up over that time. What really got me to thinking about it though, was I opened my front door to get my paper and there was a tiny little baby rat right at my front door. He thought he was hiding cause his head was under something, but the rest of his body was exposed. I scooped him up in a bucket, put some grass and leaves in it so he'd be comfortable; gave him tiny pieces of banana, cheese and some of the bird's food. Got an eyedropper and fed him some water, which he really liked. I went out and when I got home he had died. I put him in a little box and buried him in the flower bed. But the part that bothered me was I cried like a little kid who had lost their best pet. That's what worries me; since I've gotten so much older, am I starting to think about my own death or does anyone think this is normal?

[Berry Cool]

1. Hmm.

How much "older" are you, really?

Is there a possibility that there are, well, hormonal reasons?

If not, maybe you really are having a late catharsis for all these past years. Or getting hit smack in the eyes with a sense of mortality.

Poor little rat...not often you feel pity for a rat, is it?

[Booster]

13. I'm 66 so that's not the problem. Wish it were. haha

[babylonsister]

2. I don't know if I would have done that, but your

big heart and compassion are evident. Your age is irrelevant.

[theophilus]

3. I noticed that in my father as he got older and I am noticing it in myself.

I think that, for the thoughtful among us, age brings an appreciation of life and beauty. It brings empathy and sympathy and compassion. I know that is not the case for all. If you don't regret the emotions then rejoice in them. I do.

[Booster]

14. That's what I'm hoping too. I do find myself saying "everything

deserves a chance at life". I'm going to take your advice and rejoice in it rather than worry about it.

[givemebackmycountry]

4. Don't worry Booster - I cry all the time...

And I'm a big fat Irish guy who no one expect that out of.

I cry during some commercials on TV.
I cry whenever Jackeens posts her photo links.
I cry when I have a really good day at work and someone tells me they like working for me.
I cry when I hear a specific song that jogs a memory.

I cry all the time.


You know what that means?

It means we are human.

And that's a good thing.

:pals: :hug:

[Booster]

15. I have a feeling I would really like you. Thanks for making me

feel I'm not alone and reminding me that we are human and humans cry.:hug:

[Liberty Belle]

5. Honestly that seems like an over-reaction; you could be clinically depressed

and reacting to other sources of sorrow in your life, perhaps. I am concerneda bout you thinking about death and no, I don't that that's normal unless you've got a terminal illness or something you're not sharing.

I'm no professional, but it sounds like you need someone to talk to. Have you thought about counseling?

[Booster]

16. I had counseling years and years ago and after going for about

2 years it got to the point that when I walked in I would say "well, what you been doing". I don't think I want to go through that again. Some answers to my post are making me think it's ok to cry even if it's over a little rat. Thanks for your concern though. I'll be ok.

[Voice for Peace]

27. Years ago I read an article about a little pygmy society

in which there was no cancer, no heart disease, no social ills, and the people were happy, the children and elderly were cared for by everybody.

What impressed me most strongly was the description of their emotional life. Nothing was withheld. Male, female, young, old, didn't matter, all emotion was expressed. They would sometimes laugh or cry so hard they fell down. It seemed to me there was an obvious correlation between the health of their society and their emotional life.

We are feeling creatures by nature. Our culture is emotionally unnatural. We learn to control and repress; such that letting our feelings out becomes scary because it's like a pressure cooker, and it is strange to us. We have forgotten how to feel; and we are sick with so many ills.

I agree it's the right attitude to appreciate being able to feel, being human.

[targetpractice]

6. I may have cried...

Did you cry because you think you failed?

You obviously tried very hard to save the little rat with quite a bit of tender loving care.

Maybe you felt guilty or responsible?

You obviously bonded with the poor thing by giving your time and care... I think crying was a natural response.

Upon edit: No, I didn't mean to imply that you failed in any way... You seem to be a very kind and giving soul.

[Booster]

17. That may be it. That poor little thing had no one but me trying

to help him and maybe I do feel like I failed him. If he had lived and gotten bigger I was going to drop him off at Walmart. (Just kidding)

[Sal Minella]

26. In my experience, "depression" is not characterized by making plans

to drop a rat off at Wal-Mart. That sounds like a really positive, life-sustaining, cheerful, up-beat thing to do! Yay!

I think you're just a very sensitive and empathetic person. Living with yourself is not easy but I doubt you'd trade your spectrum of thoughts and feelings in on being a brain-dead greedhead.

I've always cried easily and moreso now (I'm 70) and all the people who know me have just gotten used to it and I'm not even embarrassed about it any more.

[Booster]

28. You're right. I would rather cry all the time than not have any

feelings even for a little rat. And I hate what Walmart has done to our country. On second thought, I would drop the rat off at the best restaurant in town. He was too good for Walmart.

[Happyhippychick]

7. Depression is marked by differences in eating and sleeping habits and lowered sex drive.

Have you noticed that you are eating or sleeping more or less? If there has been a change in either you may want to seek some counseling and/or medication.

[Booster]

18. No, there's been no change in any of those things so I'm hoping

it's just a spell and will pass soon. I really do think I got way too caught up in the election and just became way too angry at the Bush admin. Thanks for your concern but I think it will be ok soon.

[Happyhippychick]

32. I'm so glad to hear that! And I think that I have had many of the same reactions as you.

:)

[LakeSamish706]

8. I think you are suffering from Depression... Been there and done that...

You certainly need to see your Doc. to get some help with this.... You probably need to be on some Anti Depressant meds.

[Booster]

19. You could be right. When my brother died in 1991 my doctor

put me on Zoloft - what a life saver that was. Maybe I'll ask him for that again. It was mild and not addictive; after a year I just decided to quit taking it and had no problems. Thanks.

[madrchsod]

9. i think it`s just a natural progression of life....but remember

we must embrace everyday to it`s fullest. it`s the balance between the happiness and sorrow that we must work on. i`m coming to that stage where i know my time ain`t long but i try to dwell on it. remember whether one is young or old, live each day to the fullest because tomorrow never knows.

:hug:

[Booster]

20. You're right. Very good advice indeed. thanks.

[riverwalker]

10. nothing wrong with you

At this stage in our lives, we are supposed to contemplate the frailty of it all. It's the beauty of getting old. We are supposed to be moved, even by the death of a mouse.
Some would even call it enlightenment. There is nothing "wrong" with you, nothing.

[Booster]

21. Now, that's what I needed to hear. I think you're right. thanks.

[marauding liberal]

11. You felt the loss deeply, for whatever reason.

There is nothing wrong with that. When your feelings and emotions interfere with the quality of your life, then you have a problem. Otherwise, congratulations; you're a human being in touch with her/his feelings.

[Booster]

22. I wasn't going to post about it, but I'm glad I did. DUer's always

know exactly what to say. I'm getting all misty just reading what people are posting, but I do think that's normal. Thanks.

[Double T]

12. People with real compassion are a rare breed.

There is certainly plenty for all of US to get emotional about these days. I wouldn't worry about the crying and please just continue doing the good things you do for the other living, breathing, feeling creatures sharing our earth. You shouldn't have time to think about your own death; everyday is a bonus that should be lived to the MAX!

[Booster]

23. You guys here are just what I needed. I'm going to take what

you said as a compliment and hope my heart never gets hard, even for a baby rat. thanks.

[Joanie Baloney]

24. I've cried like that since I was little

It may be an illness of sorts to be overly compassionate, but I don't think it's a bad thing. I also don't think it's an age thing. I remember when I was very young I would get so angry when kids would walk on ants or tear branches off of trees as we walked to school. I just didn't see the point of pointless killing and destruction for the hell of it. But, I learned early on that people don't like being told to not harm what they consider inconsequential things. They say people who commit serial murders have histories of animal abuse and cruelty and I just wonder if they would have turned out differently if someone had interceded when they first showed the signs.

But as for crying...you have a soft heart and I think you should never stop caring. Sometimes you lose (like the poor little rat), but sometime, the baby bird gets well and flies off into the distance. That warm feeling in your heart is your reward for being a good person.

(But, Effexor works great for me!! LOL!)

Good luck to you, Booster! :hug:

-JB

[Booster]

25. Now that you mention it, I was like that all my life too. My brother

was like that too. He killed a bird with his BB gun when he was very little and he cried for days and days. He never killed another thing in his entire life. Ok, I'd rather be like us than those other people, so I feel a whole lot better. Thanks (but I just might look into Effexor too - haha) You just might be worse than I am with tearing off branches of trees. yep, I think it just means we're good people. Thanks.

[Mojorabbit]

29. I have been like that all day myself

for some reason. I do wildlife rehab and have raised and doctored up all kinds of animals including mice and rats which people bring to me thinking they are squirrels. If you ever find another baby there should be a center near you or I could help you find one.
It was lovely that you tried to help. I have found there are two kinds of people, those who say let nature take it's course and walk on by and those that fight to give a little one a chance to survive.

Today though, I have been very emotional and on the verge of weeping and I have no idea why.
I took an antidepressant years ago and for me it numbed me so that everything was good even when it wasn't. I decided I'd rather feel. I wasn't on it for clinical depression. It was just something they used to give people with MS to prevent it. I think they do have their place and have been a godsend for some people I know.

I have this one life and I want to feel and experience it in all it's glory both good and bad.Thank you for making the little one comfortable in his last hour. That is a wonderful gift you gave him.
Sending you a big hug.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

30. These days,

I worry about the people who don't cry.

With all that's going on in this world, how can one NOT cry?

You're fine - in fact, you're wonderful. You're not depressed, either; no depressed person would have gone through so much trouble with that baby rat.

You're just human and sentient and sensitive and a real gift ...........................

[Booster]

33. Thank you. I think I just wanted someone to tell me I'm not

losing my mind and the best place to ask is on DU. People here have the biggest of hearts and everyone's understanding is reassuring to say the least.

[ConcernedCanuk]

31. Booster - You will know you have a problem

.
.
.

when you NEVER cry again.

Enjoy your sensitivity, the world needs it.

:thumbsup:

[Booster]

34. thank you. Your name says all I need to know.