Hell Freezes Over?

[hermetic]

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one such religion and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true. Thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven. Thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

[hlthe2b]

1. Funny.... in so many ways....

[dipsydoodle]

2. That is excellent

I am reminded of the question in an exam : "Is this a question". The student who wrote "If so then this is the answer" scored the highest mark.

[moggie]

3. Shouldn't you attribute this?

This story has been circulating since 1997 at least:

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

[seasat]

9. rec.humor, I first saw it there about then.

How about that. I probably saw the original of this version.

[aquart]

4. Urban legend. Check Snopes FIRST.

<http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp>

[flor de jasmim]

5. Some things deserve to come around more than once--very funny

[hermetic]

6. Thank you

I got it in an e-mail and thought, yeah, I should check Snopes. But then figured, what the hell, it's funny and has some science in it. And we all need a chuckle now and then.

[longship]

7. Seen that one before...

Glad you posted it. It's a gem.

Recommended and :kick:ed.

[rayofreason]

8. Absolutely urban legend.

First time I saw this was 1988.

[blue horseshoe]

10. An oldie but a goodie

[PseudoIntellect]

11. My AP Chem teacher read this to my class before we started the thermodynamics unit.

The class was amazed.