Women get "Baby Rabies"

[imenja]

Check out this thread, but don't stop with the OP.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=2930174&mesg_id=2930174

Please, I need a little affirmation here. Tell me that some of you have great husbands and boyfriends, who respect you, treat you as equals, and aren't complete . . . I'll let you fill in the blank.

[DebJ]

1. My husband is wonderful. Perfect for me. Complete respect.

Feel better? Sorry to say though that I was 46 when I finally found him. Been married just 9 months now, I'll be 50 soon.

Spent my years from age 19 to age 46 with complete .....
I was stupid.

[imenja]

2. oh thank you

I especially like that you met him at 46. I'm 43 now. I don't spend time with complete pigs. I prefer my cat. But it would be nice to meet a great guy, and it's upsetting to see posts by non-great guys on DU discussion boards. But you found one, and I'm thrilled!

[kiki]

3. Well,

the 'baby rabies' comment actually appears to be about men, although that could be a typo. And although the poster gets a zero score for tact and sensitivity, I guess there are people who behave in the way he describes.

As for the comment that every time a man has sex he should be prepared to raise children, it sounds a bit 'pro-lifer'/'abstinence-only' to me... we have contraception in the modern world, and although it doesn't work 100% of the time, most people who use it obviously want to have sex without having children. It's a risk we take. And it's not just men who want to have sex without having babies y'know...

[imenja]

4. so no great husband to discuss?

Here are the facts. Pregnancy can result from sex. So if a man has sex, he needs to assume responsibility for that possibility. The idea that pregnancy is entirely the fault of women is what is reactionary, actually Neanderthal. My point was that men share equal responsibility for birth control. Blaming women for getting pregnant is a kind of sexism that I actually hoped no longer existed among anyone with a modicum of consciousness. It takes two to make a baby. Those are the birds and bees. If a man knows for a fact he never wants children, a vasectomy is the perfect solution. No further worries.

[DebJ]

5. look at bookstores in the political books section....look for

someone picking up books that reflect your own philosophies..

although I met my husband at a singles dance...claims to be the largest singles dance on the East Coast, in Frederick, Maryland...generally has about 500 people at it, more than half are 'boomer' age. Three dances with him and I was sinking fast!

[politicat]

6. Mine's great.

We've been together 5 years, though the first year was hell, considering his ex wife was dating my ex boyfriend (while the two original couples were supposedly still intact) and then we caught all sorts of hell from them for dating each other after they had broken up and the two couples had disintegrated.

I wouldn't trade him for a bajillion of anything. In fact, I'd say he doesn't treat me as an equal, but as his superior. He acknowledges that I'm far better at most things than he is, and feels no threat about that.

And no baby-rabies here. We're childfree and very firmly so.

[lukasahero]

7. Ok, I'm always happy to rave about my wonderful husband :-)

The words I wrote for my wedding vow to him were "In whose eyes I am equal, in whose heart I am cherished and in whose arms I will always be safe." That should give you both a pretty good idea of who he is and, if you read closely enough, where I came from.

I am, however, 42. Kissed a few frogs before finding this prince though. For all these guys ranting about how women like the "bad boys" and never go for "nice guys", my husband is the perfect example of a nice guy. Heck, he was a math major in college (geek alert!), is rather skinny and short (I guess - I'm short too so it's relative), is shy and sensitive and made a deliberate effort to learn how to talk to women because he didn't know how to "date". Funny that - he decided he could do something about his situation rather than blaming it on "women". He waited a long time before getting married. Lucky me. :-)

The last line of my vow to him was "You are now, and will always be, my partner, my friend, my hero and my hope."

Yeah, they're out there.

[Warpy]

8. There are a lot of good guys out there

I know them as friends and coworkers. My ex is one of the good guys. If he hadn't crawled into a bottle, I'd still be there. If I hadn't left, he'd still be there, so I did us both a favor and I wish him well.

I read posts by the good guys here on DU all the time.

I know good guys on IRC.

Yeah, there are toads, too. The older you get, though, the quicker you get their number and can get away from them.