Marriage: Sum Do, Sum Don't

[Saffy]

I'm trying like hell to write a paper for a class on "Women in the Economy".

It's actually been rather fun, which makes me think I'm probably off-the-academic radar. Basically, it's a paper on the economic and psychological costs and benefits of modern marriage, complete with human capital investments and resulting anti-depressant/anti-anxiety therapies (and market wage vs, HH work investments for both spouses.)

Anyone here willing to offer me a synopsis of their daily routine for inclusion in my research?

Here's what I'm most interested in:

How much time do you spend working outside of your home, i.e., how much time do you spend working on purely market-related work? How much time do you spend working within or FOR your home?

And lastly, if you are a stay-at-home-parent, would your previous work experience or education allow an easy transition into the workforce if necessary? Or, would you have to start at the bottom and work your way back up, even after busting your butt to raise kiddo's?

[C.C.D.]

1. I'm game (m)

I'm a single parent. In my previous relationship I was a full-time homemaker. Going back to work meant going back to low paying service jobs, as I had worked before, but with even less chance of rising because I do not want to be away from my child too much. I currently work 15hrs/wk at a service related job. I make $6.50/hr, which is a fair wage around here, with no benefits. I don't know what you mean by market-related work? I guess I don't do any of that. I spend at least 15 hours a week doing housework.

[Saffy]

2. Market vs. HH work

Thank you for your input, CCD. I, and most economists, consider market work to be anything related to your actual job. As in, do you have to have a particluar uniform drycleaned each week, or other aspects of your personal appearance (for beauticians, this can be A LOT!), or travel expenses, etc.

Likewise, household work can also have many travel related expenses, or care-taking expenses, etc.

[C.C.D.]

6. Okay (m)

I have no work-realted expenses outside of a 1 1/2 mile drive to and from and child care @ $2.50/hr.

Homemaking expenses include a bottle of white vinegar every three months, laundry soap and laundromat coins, and general toiletries.

[Luminous Animal]

3. Some answers...

I have one daughter and market-related work comprises about 30 hours a week of my time. I am a free-lance bookkeeper so I work an additional 5-40 hours a week from my home office depending on the time of year. I spend about 5 hours a week doing housework (cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, tending to the cats). My husband has fewer market-related work and does about 90% of the housework.

I was a stay at home mom for approximately 5 years and my "career", retail management, would have been difficult to transition into at my previous level. But, when I was in college, I worked nights and weekends at K-Mart where I learned bookkeeping skills. When I was ready to enter the job market after hanging out with my daughter for 5 years, I wanted to make the most of amount of money in the least amount of time so I marketed myself as an independent bookkeeper.

I feel that I was fortunate to recognize a skill that I had acquired 15 years prior would be in high demand.

[Saffy]

4. Here's the "intro: (only a few paragraphs) What do ya think?

"Certainly, there is sanctity to the union of matrimony, whether holy or not. But, sanctity is not measurable, while the economic costs and benefits of marriage are statistically measurable, and to a lesser extent, so is the psychological integrity of married persons.

Throughout the latter half of the 20th century and the first few years of the 21st century, America has undergone some rather dramatic shifts with regard to traditional roles within marriage. On the surface these changes appear quite positive, both economically as well as psychologically in that there appears to be a greater margin of equality for both spouses in terms of household work and market work, as well as wages earned. While overall statistical labor analyses reveal more married women in the workforce now than ever before, further interrogation of these same statistics reveals a far more convoluted and oppressive story.

The purpose of this presentation is to expose the underlying system of socio-cultural, economic and psychological barriers that have resulted from modern interpretations of traditional marriage, or perhaps traditional interpretations of modern marriage. Either scenario presents us with a double bind for the married couple that allocates a greater benefit to one spouse and a greater cost to the other. And, like any systematic network of oppression, there is no true ‘win: win’ situation for either party. Because such systems rely on an imbalance of power, and the constant tension between these polarities must exist in order to maintain the network, it creates a see-saw effect for both partners; they can be neither up nor down simultaneously. "
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ANy and ALL criticism is welcome.

[lukasahero]

5. To throw a different perspective out to you

and a possible chink in your theory, here's my situation:

I'm 41, married, no kids. I'm out of the house for work 12+ hours/day. (That includes a lengthy commute). I'm a computer programmer making about $90K+. My husband is also a computer programmer making about twice that and spends an equal amount of time out of the house for work. (Before anyone goes all "salary inequities!" on my a$$, he's been a programmer for 20 years, me - five. He earns more because he has 4 times the experience. I know wage inequity exists but I have seldom found it to be a problem for me personally.)

We share the household responsibilities equally although we each have our "specialties" and preferences. (I don't do the snow blowing, he doesn't wash the floor. Oh, and he kills the spiders where I grow the vegetables.) Whoever gets home first cooks, and whoever doesn't cook, cleans up afterward. (So tack on an hour/day for cooking, cleaning, walking the dog...)

Household work, as might be obvious, occurs on the weekends and we spend most of our weekend doing just that - so chalk up about 20 hours a week for household/yard duties - although, admittedly we spend more time doing "projects" than routine cleaning.

My "market" time is minimal - dry clean the suits but I'm not a "hair and makeup" kind of girl so unless taking a shower and washing my hair counts, I guess I don't spend much time there.

I admit we are not the norm but this is my reality and I suspect it's becoming more common. It's what I looked for in a partnership/marriage this time around.

To give one final word of background: I am divorced and that happened largely because in my previous marriage, I not only worked longer hours and made more money but I was solely responsible for all the household tasks (even when I was sick). The inequity (among other things) appalled me and I made a deliberate choice to find a partner this time who wasn't looking for a mother or a maid. I think you may find women in second marriages have more in common with me if you care to qualify your research in such a way.

[cjmr]

7. I'm a stay at home parent

And no, I probably couldn't transition easily back into the workforce. My education is in biochemistry and linguistics, but my most recent (7 years ago) work experience is retail management. I'd probably have to start out low and work my way back up. There is no way I could get back into Biochem at this point--my degree is 12 years out of date. I do intend to go back to work after the children are older, but I plan to get a Masters in another field first.

I spend 1-2 hours per month volunteering outside the home.
I spend 3-4 hours per day home schooling my children.
I spend 1-2 hours per day on housework/cooking, etc...
I spend about 2 hours per day playing with my children and about 2 hours per day on the internet.

[politicat]

8. I'm a stay-at-home non-mom.

I work independently, from home. I write and I research and I do community activism. I also consult on a specific set of divorce and child custody cases.

My work takes on average 30 hours a week, but it goes drastically up in the spring and summer, and falls off on the fall and winter. In the spring and summer, that work can be 80-90 hours a week.

I spend about 5 hours a week on housework, 1-2 on procurement of household essentials, and 3-5 on household paperwork. My partner does about the same, though he works 40 hours a week or slightly more as a senior programmer.

The only reason we spend so little time on housework is because we designed and furnished our house to be absolutely as easy-care as possible. That took thought and planning that would not have been available had we not gutted and remodeled our house.

My previous work was as a clinical psychologist working in community mental health, followed by a couple of years as a corporate educator. Right now, if I was to re-enter the market as a psychologist, I'd have to work with the community mental health system for less than $28K a year with benefits, but with no chance of a raise or a promotion for at least 5 years. To enter private practice would require either $60K to buy into a practice, or about $100K to set up my own practice. I left the workforce after budget cuts in my state's mental health programs made advancement impossible and I left the corporate world after 9/11 made my education skills too expensive for the company to remain competitive. I was laid off in Oct 2001, so I made a virtue of necessity and started my consulting firm.

So, yes, I'd have to start over.

Pcat