Cosmo and the zipless f*ck

[Danascot]

I love Cosmopolitan Magazine, I really do. Where else can you find so much information on how to be an unpaid prostitute?

<snip>

The Cosmo 2009 attitude toward sex is that it’s a woman’s job to “put out” for a man. And what does a woman get in exchange? Nothing of course. Merely hinting that she might have needs is enough to drive any man away.

Cosmo was founded by a woman, but it’s difficult to believe that it wasn’t founded by a man whose ideal of womanhood was the star of a porno movie: always available, always sexually satisfied, never demanding anything other than more sex. That view of women, the view espoused by Cosmo, is profoundly misogynistic. Women are nothing more than sex toys. They may have thoughts, feelings and needs for interaction other than sex, but they should be sure to keep that to themselves.

http://skepticalob.blogspot.com/2009/03/cosmo-and-zipless-fck.html

[Midlodemocrat]

1. I hate that magazine. I stopped reading it many years ago.

It's not the Cosmo of my youth, that's for sure.

[hlthe2b]

2. ditto....

Helen Gurley Brown was ousted as editor in the 1990s... rapid descent since then...

[Midlodemocrat]

3. I just didn't like how they depicted young women.

Didn't hurt that my eldest daughter was born in 1990 and I didn't want her growing up like that.

[Warpy]

4. That crap was almost refreshing in the early 60s

when nice girls were supposed to remain virgins forever, even after they'd produced children.

The idea that we could go out and just get laid for the hell of it was new and different.

What was refreshing then has devolved into the male fantasy of the female sex machine with no human needs beyond fucking.

I only read it when I was stuck somewhere and nothing else was available in the waiting room.

[YOY]

5. From what I gathered from female friends...it's the same 2 or 3 articles every 2 or 3 months

Kind of sad really.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. I don't read it

and rarely read it even in my youth. Even back then the message they were sending was that you had to acquire the perfect body (read skinny) to snare a man. I learned that men vary on what they consider beautiful--a lot like curves and a size 14 over a size 8. I also learned that real men (my definition, mind) are very much about things other than sex--like respecting a woman for everything she does, and trying their best to fulfill their needs.

[Hello_Kitty]

7. I agree with the article overall

But I didn't care for her assumption that women can NEVER have sex without the desire for a commitment. IMHO, the notion that a woman has to be in luuuurve to have sex is every bit as insulting and dangerous as the belief that women are empty sex objects. The friends with benefits situation may have been rare in Jong's day but it's far more common now and it provides a reasonable alternative to a relationship for people who want sex but aren't really interested in a full-fledged relationship.

[jjray7]

9. Zipless F?

"But I didn't care for her assumption that women can NEVER have sex without the desire for a commitment." Which is what threw me off on the title of this thread--"The Zipless F@ck". It's the title of an Erica Jong book. The whole premise was Erica's ideal of the perfect F@ck, one without emotion, without entanglements, without even words (which Erica admits by the end of the book that it is not worth having). Today we call it a quick hookup but they didn't have the terminology back them. Cosmo mindset != Zipless F@uck per Erica Jong.

[BlueJazz]

8. Even as a Male, I've read it (at the Dentist office) a few times and..

..it seemed to NOT convey a Magazine for the hip, Intelligent Women...more toward the (kinda') hip Party Girl.
(Should you show more Thigh on the first date?)

Seems like no matter how far Women come, there's forces pushing them back into the Bedroom and Kitchen.

[MADem]

10. That magazine is an anachronism. It's a "MAD MEN" accessory.

It was founded by a woman, but that poor woman was only able to define herself by her relationship to men. The women who were "desireable," who "turned heads" were the Top Dogs in Helen Gurley Brown's command structure; the ones with brains, glasses and thick ankles were the pathetic "supporting characters" who would always (in her head) aspire to the "glamour," but never come close.

Of course, the thick-ankled, glasses-wearing brainiacs are the ones who are living large in their old age, off sensible investments in comfortable homes, and the unpaid hookers of the era are barely making ends meet, still trying to squeeze into their playtex girdles, hunting for their Tangee lipstick, and wondering why "the boys" down at the senior aid center don't flirt with them anymore.

It's just a ghastly piece of tripe, that rag.


Children, especially girl children, are luckier nowadays. They don't HAVE to put up with that asinine paradigm. Unfortunately, there still is a subset in our culture that encourages young girls to define themselves by how half-naked their clothing can be, how much crap they put on their face, and how many flirtatious or sexual "games" they can play. That's sad for the boys, too, because they're still getting mixed signals about how to regard their female peers (and they're also forced to step it up on the "appearance" scale-- being told to spray themselves with "boy perfume" and work on their "six pack" if they want to catch a girl).

Are they people, or are they objects? A lot of the so-called "role models" don't help any of these kids much in figuring that shit out, do they? And some of the parents have abdicated their responsibilities, too. It's a tough time to be a kid--so much "stuff"....so little genuine interaction with other humans.

[MindPilot]

11. The only time the thought ever crossed my mind to return a magazine for a refund

I picked up an issue of Comso because it featured an article about where to go to meet men. I thought hey, I'm a man, maybe I should be going to places where women think they are going to meet me.

After the suggestion that she carry around some piece of sporting equipment, like a baseball glove, to make it appear that she is interested in sports--and presumably infinitely more attractive than the gear-less lass--I dropped it in the recycle bin and took a shower.