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omega minimo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-19-09 01:12 AM
Original message
One of our DUer friends needs help for his friend
who is in a wheelchair. Recently someone broke into her house and sexually assaulted her.

Can this forum help with ideas/resources to refer them to in dealing with this outrage?

Thank you.

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Suich Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-19-09 02:14 AM
Response to Original message
1. Can you give us a link, please? n/t
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-19-09 02:20 AM
Response to Original message
2. I'd start with the police, AND domestic violence/sexual assault group
many communities have DV/SA group of some sort. I'd make sure police were called, report filed, but also that I had DV/SA advocate along with me to act in my behalf.

Is this what you mean?

DV/SA and/or women's shelter would have resources.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-20-09 10:44 PM
Response to Original message
3. My thread is right here
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iverglas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-20-09 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. I'm a fan of reading therapy ;)

http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=women+disabilities+%22sexual+assault%22&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

It helps to know that one is in a large company -- both of women who have been sexually assaulted (most of us, when you come right down to it) and of women with disabilities who are specially vulnerable to sexual assault.

Like all women, women with disabilities are most vulnerable to sexual assault at the hands of their intimates -- partners, friends, family.

Like me, your friend is the exception: a violent, life-threatening assault by a stranger who had total control.

The world doesn't feel the same afterward, and never will. One just doesn't feel safe after the way one did before.

She needs to talk. She needs to talk to someone / people who know how to listen, and know how to help her address her trauma. If she doesn't like the person she goes to first, she should find someone else. She should do it now.

When it happened to me, many years ago, the effects of trauma like that weren't understood, and the kind of help victims need hadn't been developed. Your friend should have more options available. Sexual assault / rape crisis services should be accessible just about anywhere. And she should know that it's going to take some work, but it can get better. *Not* talking about it is not likely going to help.

You know what I recommend? A bit of redecorating. Something to make home feel like home again. A coat of paint, some plants, a new duvet. Something to make home make you smile when you look at it, and make it yours again. Having some friends do that sort of thing, and spend some pleasant time in her home, can play a little part in relieving the fear and insecurity.

(That's apart from the logistics, which she will need to work out - whether to move, whether to not live alone, how to secure her home, etc.)


I'm afraid your thread itself just made me gag, having devolved into yet another opinion-fest full of vengeful fantasies.

That isn't what your friend needs, btw. She needs the focus to be on her, not on what anybody thinks or feels about, or would like to do to, the scum who hurt her. Keeping that to yourself, or at least out of your talks with her, is going to help more than any oaths or fantasies of revenge. Her control over her life was already taken away by him. Now she needs it to be about her, not about him or about how any third party feels about him.


Just my little voice of experience, as usual. ;)

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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-21-09 07:39 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Thank you for the kind advice.
:hug:
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