There are some instances, "would you say that to a man?"

[Quantess]

I am thinking specifically of an older, male, family member that I visited last weekend. (He is over 19 years older than me)
He complains of his own numerous health ailments frequently. He had just finished complaining about a (female) nurse saying something slightly critical of his weight, something to the effect of "I hear this all the time, don't they think I realize I'm fat?" This is not the first time he has complained about women in health professions being insensitive to his "feelings".

Next morning, I had already drank some coffee and was preparing an egg sandwich breakfast. He said, "I've noticed your hands shake too much", and his lecture did not stop there. If anyone is wondering, no, there was no alcohol involved.

I said something like "Seriously, what do you want me to do? Should I control my hands better?"

He took offense at my reaction.

[Sherman A1]

1. Sometimes you need

to throw an elbow. You did and Good For You!

[Meldread]

2. I'm not sure what you're asking.

Based upon the title and beginning of your post, I thought it was basically a generic question along the lines of: "Would you say the same thing to X if they were of the opposite gender?" However, by the end I ended up confused about what you were asking.

Taking a slight guess, you're having an issue with an older male family member who you think is sexist / biased against women. Or, at the very least, hypocritical. If he is acting in a way that you feel is inappropriate you should try and discuss it with him. Sometimes people are oblivious to what they say and do until it's pointed out to them. Of course, the discussion would have to be delicate, you wouldn't want him to immediately get all defensive - that defeats the point and would only lead to an argument.

Finally, obviously men have feelings just as women do. He's probably sensitive about his weight. Straight guys are funny sometimes when it comes to women. A lot of straight guys don't like women judging them because they feel as if it is some type of assault on their manhood. It probably has something to do with breeding psychology, "OMGZ, I'm losing out on a potential mate!" Actually, now that I think about it straight women are like that too about straight guys. I've been with women who discuss all sorts of things that they'd get upset with a straight guy discussing / telling / asking them. I guess everyone is like that to a degree - no one wants to be thought of as undesirable by the sex they're attracted too. I feel the same way about guys I find attractive. If they are overly critical of me it does hurt me more than if it was a woman or a guy that I found undesirable / unattractive.

I mean, I guess you could just put yourself in his shoes. That's the best way to approach such things, I find. Just imagine how you'd feel if you had an attractive male doctor pointing out that you were overweight and needed to lose some. While all along he's just stating the obvious, which ends up making you feel like shit, making you wonder why he had to point it out at all. Then compare that to a female doctor pointing out the same thing. It still might make you do an eye roll because its stating the obvious, but it doesn't have the same "sting" behind it.