My sexual harrassment suit got shot down.

[undeterred]

I was harrassed for a week after my coworker was promoted to supervisor and thought he could use it to demand sex from me. He complained about me to my agency and I lost my job. I filed an EEOC suit against the company and just got their response. 30 pages of denial and trashing me. They really didn't look into it, of course, just wrote how abrasive and uncooperative I am, and defended their people. I knew it was going to be like this, but it still makes me sick. Still unemployed.

[LiberalLoner]

1. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I heard stories about things like this that

have happened to other women and it always sickens me. It's hard for me to understand how someone can think it's morally right of them to be demanding sex from their subordinates.

And 99% of the time, the system works to protect the abuser and harm the victim further.

That fact played at least a small part in my decision to not report the 1LT who raped me when I was in the Army. I knew it would only bring more harm to me and no justice. So why bother? I just chalked it up to being the price you pay for being born a woman in this world.

I do hope you will find another job soon, a good job, and one that doesn't require you to submit to abusive supervisors.

[undeterred]

10. This was only for a week

and the worst that happened was losing my job. But this is a company with the word "Family" in the title that pays lip service to a lot of high standards. They spent their whole response trashing me and making stuff up and ignored most of what I said in my statement. I knew they didn't really believe in their own standards but somehow I hoped that they would.

[liberalmike27]

67. Do Any of You Girls

Ever think about carrying around one of those digital recorders, and just recording shit for about a month or two, before filing these suits? Even if you couldn't use it in court, perhaps you could embarass the person by playing it over the intercom, or use it as a hedge to threaten a suit, or something. There is nothing like verbal truth, whether it's legal or not. Sometimes ruining a reputation is as good as a lawsuit.

[spooky3]

75. the problem is

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=229&topic_id=12833&mesg_id=12930

Also, your support is appreciated but adult female persons should be called "women." Girls are female children.

[lbrtbell]

100. Girls are also women

The word has two uses:

Girl - boy
Girl - guy (i.e., informal usage)
Woman - man

I'm a lifelong feminist, but I'm also a grammar nazi, LOL. "Gal" used to be the opposite of guy, but that word is pretty much limited to use by older people now. It has been acceptably replaced by "girl". :)

[shireen]

22. i am so sorry to hear that

And i understand your decision not to report it.

:hug:

[rasputin1952]

55. Two words...Inspector General...

I know this appears to be a situation where there was no viable recourse, but the IG bypasses the Chain of Command (making sure you went to get the requisite tests at the hospital) signing the complaint immediately following the assault would most likely have put this bastard behind bars. Even if he went w/the "consensual" route, he would have been guilty of other crimes that would have driven him out of the military and ruined the rest of his life.

When I ran a TMC, I was involved in a situation like this, A female soldier came in looking for help. I had the clerk, A civilian female) come in and and witness the entire exchange. Requested a PA to do do a rape/assault test, he sent her to the hospital where more extensive tests were done and more statements taken. While she was enroute to the hospital, I called the IG office, in 20 minutes they had inspectors at the unit, the officer was assigned to, and within an hour he was in custody. He faced a General Court Martial in 89 days and was out after being busted, losing all rank, privileges and spent 15 years in Leavenworth. This is what a victim, an E-6 and dedicated people can do to an 0-5.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. who is unreccing this and why? my condolences, undeterred.

[LiberalLoner]

4. Probably right-wing trolls I'm guessing. I recc'd it of course. Hope others will too.

This is a topic people need to be aware of because...it happens too frequently. Next time it could happen to your wife, your daughter, your granddaughter, your best friend, your mother...all women are vulnerable to mistreatment like this as a condition of employment. It's not right. It needs to end.

[dkf]

3. Guess the trick is to preemptively get the harrassment charge on file before

They get to the firing. Damn that sucks but it's a lesson for the rest of us.

[etherealtruth]

5. I am so sorry

It is disgusting that this happens ... and to those that are not aware- it happens very frequently.

[Angry Dragon]

6. Call his wife and talk to her

[undeterred]

12. His wife won't have sex with him either.

At least that was his story the whole time I worked with him.

[CountAllVotes]

20. gee I wonder if he is a clone of the bastard I worked for

Same story, different year.

However, said bastard in my case has died since time. I have no regrets hearing about his death btw. NONE!!!!!

:dem:

[Enthusiast]

58. I thought the same thing. nt

[Warpy]

7. I hope he did it in front of witnesses

because otherwise, it's "he said, she said" and such suits are incredibly difficult to win.

Companies always circle the wagons, at least at first. Most of them will settle eventually when you make it clear you are not going away. The settlement you get might make unemployment a little easier to bear.

I just hope your agency is taking your word about this.

[undeterred]

8. My agency is shit.

The company is shit. They act like "why didn't you report it if it really happened"? The one person I told about it is on maternity leave, although she wasn't when I told her about it. When you are a contractor, you are screwed no matter what you do. The agency takes you off the assignment. The company doesn't want you there. They want you unemployed. There, there, now you're safe and there's no problem.

[Warpy]

31. I know, I've been there

and know they really don't want to be bothered, beyond finding another assignment where the predator doesn't work.

[no_hypocrisy]

9. What does your attorney think of this?

First, their response is to be expected. They won't come out and admit everything you claim.

Second, they didn't make a motion to dismiss and it was granted. You still have a case.

Third, if you don't "win" at trial, I promise they will be forced to settle with you for a lesser amount and one of the stipulations will be that they either take you back as an employee or they will apologize and they will not share any of the negative and false information about you with a prospective employer.

[undeterred]

11. I don't have an attorney.

I filed it through the EEOC. And I just got it back in the mail today. So I will talk to them on Monday, I guess. I asked for wages lost. I knew it wouldn't be easy. I do not ever want to work there again.

There is a lot of trash in my statement on them. The way my harasser announced that he wanted to have sex with me was by telling me that our married Operations Manager was having sex with a whole long list of subordinates. I wonder if he wants to go to court. (Therefore, as my supervisor, he should have the right to have sex with me.)

[no_hypocrisy]

13. Find a civil trial attorney and sue him and the company.

It will be on contingency which means you pay nothing if you lose.

[undeterred]

15. I don't know how to find somebody like that.

[CountAllVotes]

19. neither did I

I was told to find Gloria Allred ...

http://www.gloriaallred.com/

I think she has/had far bigger fish to fry than the likes of me. :(

Keep looking however, maybe you can find someone out there that gives a damn enough to help you, you never know.

[no_hypocrisy]

21. Can your county's bar association and get 3-4 names and interview the

different attorneys. Stick to the ones who will point out the problems, weaknesses of your case as they are realistic. And someone who will be your partner in all of this.

And call your local chapter of NOW and see who is recommended as a viable attorney who specializes in employment law and sexual harassment. You were wrongfully discharged as well as the victim of sexual harassment. That's two suits right there.

Call Monday morning.

[elleng]

50. At least, contact local Bar Association for referrals to attorneys who handle similar matters.

Good that you're 'undeterred' because you may have to be, but seems like you do have a cause of action and some potential relief.

Good advice from 'no hypocricy.'

:hi:

[JDPriestly]

65. Call the bar association in the state in which you live.

Ask for names of attorneys who specialize in employment discrimination.

[customerserviceguy]

46. Ok, I'm not clear here

Did the EEOC send you their response, or did they just send you a copy of the company's response, as they're supposed to do?

If it's only the latter, you're not shot down at this point, the only thing you know is that they didn't roll over and play dead for you. Would you have expected them to?

Now, if it's the EEOC that did this, you might have other avenues that an attorney can pursue. Perhaps you flubbed your own case by not having competent legal representation in the first place, and maybe it's still fixable.

[undeterred]

49. I sent a statement to the EEOC

which they sent to the company. The company had 30 days to respond to me and the EEOC and this was it. So its not over unless I give up or the EEOC tells me its not something they feel is worth pursuing. I just felt like I got shot down emotionally because they were so nasty, trashed me personally, and defended my harasser. I guess that's what they do. The boldness of the lies is just staggering. There is a bunch of stuff they just made up that is easily disproved but I don't know how much subpoena power the EEOC has.

[tinkerbell41]

56. I'm not a lawyer but I have been involved in two lawsuits

Having said that, you should receive a determination letter from EEOC, it is a right to sue letter.
My first case it took almost 2 yrs to get the Right to Sue letter. My second which I am currently involved in took about 2 months.
The first one the finding was AGAINST the company. The second one said they didn't have enough info to make a decision.
Yes, the company will ALWAYS trash what you said. In fact with mine they insisted I was a shit worker, and fabricated things that NEVER occured. My incident happened within the first 15 min of me reporting to a NEW job. I just hired on.
If the EEOC finds in your favor they will refer you to a Lawyer. If not, there should be a referral service in the nearest Metropolitan area.
The first case I had, I called the owner before I went to the EEOC to file a charge, to see what his explanation was. He told me if I went down and reported him I would be wasting my time and his.
It took 2 yrs, but I settled.
If you decide to go forward, you might be asked to give a deposition where the truth will eventually come out, with the other party giving them as well. The depositions will usually prove to be your ally.
Do not make the mistake in being discouraged from pursuing it. If it happened it happened, and it SHOULDN'T be happening. If you made a major mistake on the job the employer would take action, and so your employer made a mistake and you should also take action. Good Luck!

[femrap]

72. Good Advice....nt

[customerserviceguy]

76. Indeed, good advice

If they're going to win, let them really fight it out. Don't let them win just because they can write a letter full of lies that makes you go away with your tail between your legs.

If nothing else, your acceptance of this as a total loss just makes it more likely they're going to try that tactic the next time this creep decides to manage the business out of his pants.

[whathehell]

87. Don't let it get you down....This is the kind of sleazy thing some companies do

and I know because it happened to me, although the job wasn't that great and it wasn't about "harassment",

it was about their attempt to keep me from collecting unemployment after they fired me

"without just cause".

They LIED their asses off to the UE Office, though they did it in a rather poor

and amateurish way which enabled me to beat them at their own shitty game.

It took me six months of weekly three hour round trips on public transportation,

to do it, but I won in the end.

I was able to get my UE REINSTATED and collected in arrears.


It felt good...The same way you'll feel when you win.;-)

[undeterred]

88. Thank you.

:hi:

[whathehell]

89. You're welcome, undeterred.

Best of luck...Keep us updated:hi:

[ZombieHorde]

14. Fucking lame. I am sorry you lost your job over someone else's unethical behavior. nt

[defendandprotect]

16. Any chance for appeal -- ??

When Prof. Anita Hill testified vs that bit of garbage Clarence Thomas --

I was always amazed that neither she nor anyone at the EEOC had "taped" his

sexual ravings because they were so common!

Of course more than a dozen women who had contact with him in government were

willing to testify against him, but Biden prevented that info from being heard!!

[undeterred]

18. This just happened to me.

And it really happened only after he got a promotion which gave him a sense of entitlement.

[CountAllVotes]

17. believe me I know how you feel

I had the same thing going on at my last job. It was horrible (began the second I walked in in the a.m. and stopped when the old bastard left for the day).

I was told to document everything that he said. I did this.

In the end it was useless. None of my co-workers dared to back me up even though they all knew it was true. They were afraid they'd lose THEIR jobs, so to hell with me.

I ended up leaving that job and I kept all of my records about the harassment. This was over 10 years ago.

Just last week I had the files shredded up and "recycled". I broke down and cried when I read my documentation.

It sickens me that this still goes on and that bastards get away with it to this very day.

So much for women's rights huh? :(

Hang in there and try to move along if you can. Don't let it haunt you for the next 10-15 years like I have done. I know it sucks but what else can you do? You tried at least (as did I), only to realize that women aren't much further along now than they were at the turn of the century IMO.

:grr:

And for you, a :hug: ...

:kick: & recommend.

[undeterred]

23. Thanks

I am so sorry you went through this. Co-workers are a disappointment. Everyone looks out for themselves. Men all stick together. Suddenly they are all victims of lying women.

I found a website (which is down right now) and read some SH stories which were unbelievable. I couldn't believe how long people put up with stuff. I documented some stuff from this job and put it in my statement, and they totally ignored it in their response. They don't really give a damn what kind of work environment they have.

There are still some real shitheads. The person who did this me was someone I trusted. Until the week he demanded sex from me I considered him a friend.

[CountAllVotes]

25. the bastard will rot in hell

And in hell he'll find fine company with the old bastard I worked for!

He had a line-up of people to defend him too, including the lawyer I retained to represent me. It was so very sickening that I had no choice but to drop the case!

Throw in the constant racism, non-stop it was, it sickened me. In fact I got so sick from it that I ended up in the boat I am in today.

DO NOT LET WHAT HAPPENED DO THIS TO YOU.

Some times you are better off simply walking away from it all.

Some day you'll be reading the bastards obituary in the news like I recently did.

[liberalmike27]

70. Probably too Late for You

But when you get your recording device, make sure that when someone starts making advances, you get on tape a very clear reply, like "I'm sorry you think that me just being a friend in any way says it's OK for you to ask me out or suggest any sexual relationship. In the future, never ask me out again, or for sex, as I am just not interested in you in that way."

Some guys are dense, and some think that women want to be pursued. Personally I always liked it the other way. If someone has no interest in me, it's a pretty clear turnoff. Other guys aren't that way, sadly more of them than those like myself.

It sounds like the guy is a real (*) but for any woman out there, you should be very, very clear that you aren't interested, and that no other attempts should be made, as in truth, an awful lot of people do meet their significant other, at work. It may not be right, but it's true. Sucks to be in this situation for you, but I'm sure it isn't great to be on the other side if you were sincerely interested in a woman, and all of a sudden you are on the other side of some sexual harrassment thing. Let me emphasize, it doesn't sound at all like this is the case here, but I'm just saying, guys are dense, be clear, and get it on tape if you can. There is nothing like evidence, clear and unrebuttable evidence.

[LiberalLoner]

24. +1,000. I'm sorry this happened to you, too. I wish more people

would realize that this is not about men just getting horny and wanting some sex. It's about someone who has and uses the power to really hurt another human being.

Just like I believe rape is never about sex, it's about humiliating a woman enough, inundating her with enough shame, that she spends every day of her life after that thinking about suicide.

I heard a phrase I think is pretty appropriate. "Soul Murder." That's what happens.

I am safe with my husband. I finally got to the point where I just hide from the world now because I don't feel safe. It's because of stuff like this, and terrorism, and my body betraying me like getting Guillain-Barre Syndrome and...I guess a million other things. I just don't feel safe. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I go out and get my groceries and other shopping I need or like to do, and that's it. I don't work, I don't volunteer except as being a pen-pal to help students struggling to learn to read, and I don't bother making friends or opening myself up to other people. To be honest I'm just sort of waiting to die now because when I die, I'll finally be safe and nothing bad can ever happen to me again. I know I'm not supposed to think that way and feel that way but I do. And from reading this thread, looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't feel very safe in this world.

[CountAllVotes]

26. it is sad what sexual harassment does to a person

It happens to men too, but women are the common victims that are only questioned extensively and called liars.

I'm very ill myself. It wasn't until I worked for the now dead bastard that I became very ill.

I'm sorry that you don't get out much. I do the same thing however. It scarred me for life.

Still the same, the bastard got away with it.

A song I listen to quite often ... :D

I'll be glad when you're dead to rascal you ... (I'll be glad when you're dead you bastard you!) ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdoBRCt4zrE

[polly7]

53. ....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[liberalmike27]

71. When you Die You'll Be Safe?

Good lord, don't feel that way. I've had that feeling though, waiting for the other shoe to drop. About all you can do is try to take action in some way. There is nothing like having a plan to make you feel better about the situation, and yourself. Otherwise, you are adrift, without a rudder, which is what brings that feeling.

[shireen]

27. sometimes it "works"

I'm sorry to hear that the EEOC didn't come though for you. That's really disgusting.

But I hope it won't dissuade others from seriously considering filing charges when it happens to them -- it's a tough decision to make, and each situation is unique

A friend of mine did it when she was being sexually harrassed by her boss. I remember driving her to the EEOC office and waiting in the lobby while she met with an official because I didn't want her to be there alone. Fortunately, our company believed her and the boss was eventually removed from his managerial position. Not long after, he left the company. But sadly, she had to live with resentment from others who though the boss had been unfairly treated. He was a likable guy -- i liked him and thought he was a good boss. But I also believed my friend. It just goes to show how complex these situations are. :(

[undeterred]

28. Well, I'm not sure where the EEOC comes in

All I've done so far is fill out their form and mail it in. They mailed it to the company and the company responded. I guess the next part is where we have the hearing. My feeling is the company basically avoided really investigating what happened by talking about other things in their document. So I think it should be the EEOC lawyer that represents me at the administrative hearing. There hasn't been anything face to face yet.

[elehhhhna]

34. You probably have to respond to their lying response within a deadline --

and NAME witness names and titles--request they be subpeona'd by the EEOC for your hearing...research this on the googlemachine!

Companies pay to SETTLE and shut you up. And name the agency's client company where you were assigned in the action, if the guy is their employee.

They may offer you some "shuddup/go away" money. Happens alla time -- even for false filings.

[undeterred]

37. Thats what I will do. Thank you.

I am in the middle of studying for an exam but now I can't stop thinking about this.

The thing is... if computers and email can be subpoenaed, everything can be proven.

[spooky3]

42. Do you have access to any of this info or copies you've made previously? Like Ensign

they may have been busy deleting emails, etc.

If you don't have this, try to have dates on which emails were sent to you so that computer experts can more easily find "deleted" files.

Caveat - I'm not a lawyer.

Be sure to have psychological support as you go through this - friends and family may be understanding to a point but they often don't provide all you need.

[dmr]

29. I wish this wasn't still happening

I've experienced sexual harassment during my time in the work force. Back in the 70s one of my superiors would 'handle' me. He'd caress my arm, massage my neck & back, 'innocently' brush against my breasts, patted my butt or grab my waist. All in good fun he would say when I'd ask him to stop.

When I was doing an internship at a drugstore, the pharmacist's son dragged me (literally) inside a closet, I had to fight my way out of it. Still makes me sick to think about that episode.

In 1980, I had a boss who would constantly 'hang' out with me while I performed my job. He arranged my breaks & lunch hour after everyone else had theirs, then he'd follow me wherever I went. It got to be where I took no breaks, even though he'd still 'hang' out at my work area. All the while telling me how a great 'fit' we were together, we'd make a great couple, & how impressed I'd be about his new condo, new boat etc. I'd go home & actually throw up.

One day, I managed to sneak a way for lunch. He sent a co-worker to the cafeteria to fetch me back because I had an emergency phone call from my sister, who was pregnant & due anytime. When I returned there was no emergency phone call, it was ruse to get me back. He was waiting inside the office for me steaming mad that I went to lunch without him! He locked the door & lunged at me. I managed to get out of that office, grabbed my purse & fled. I never returned. I should have filed charges & if I were then the woman I am today, I would sue the shit out of him & our employer for not providing me a safe place in which to work.

These are just 3 men that stand out in my life that not only made my working life hell, but also made my life in general hell, as well.

I feel for you. I don't think those at the EEOC who are making decisions fully understand how truly awful it is to be a working woman around men who think they can say & do anything without repercussions.

[CountAllVotes]

30. what a sad sick story

It makes me so angry to read this. It was par for the course in the '70s and the '80s, and in my case the 1990s. :puke:

The first job I had was in 1972. I was a young kid who had found her first job that paid a whopping $3.00 an hour.

I worked for a foreign trade company and the boss convinced me to go with him to look at a bicycle he wanted to purchase after work and take home and he did not speak English that well was his excuse for requiring me to go with him. So, dummy me went.

He tried to rape me, that is what happened. Yes RAPE. I began crying and he got scared and luckily stopped.

I never went back to the office, I quit is what I did.

I was too young and stupid to know what else to do but RUN. This pattern followed me throughout my illustrious working career sadly.

I'm not a great looking woman either, just average by all means I'd say.

Men do it for power as it mentioned in the above posts.

Sad, sick and damages a person for life!

Damn them, damn them all!

[blue neen]

32. Are you receiving Unemployment Compensation?

You should be receiving unemployment based on his treatment of you and that they laid you off because of him.

[undeterred]

35. yes

The agency took me off without knowing what was going on, and then I reported it. He thought if there was more pressure on me I would submit to him. He didn't really want me fired, I was doing a ton of work for him. I asked for payment for lost wages.

They said it doesn't rise to the level of sexual harassment. I think losing your job because someone thought his promotion gave him the right to demand sex is sexual harassment. But if you are an XXXX Insurance company with the word XXXXXX in the title, apparently not.

[blue neen]

38. In Wisconsin does the agency have to report a reason to UC for you to collect?

What I'm trying to get at: If they reported it to UC as sexual harassment (necessitous and compelling circumstances) then you would have some back-up to what you reported about him.

[undeterred]

40. There are a few categories

Since its a temp agency they just report it as a lay off. If you quit you don't collect and if you are fired for bad behavior you don't collect. My agency just decided it was "not a fit" anymore but she didn't know when she made the decision so it wasn't anything against me or against the company, just end of contract. I don't think she would have done it any differently if she knew- she would have still taken me out of there and then reported it.

[elehhhhna]

33. APPEAL! If you just got a copy of the agency's denial,

start writing your point by point rebuttal. It ain't over.

[undeterred]

36. I actually haven't been turned down

Just got my shit letter from the company denying everything.

[spooky3]

41. This is important - from your OP, it wasn't clear - therefore:

It sounds as if all EEOC has done is to simply convey to you what your company's defense is. EEOC is not saying that it has investigated and determined that the facts support the company's side of it, right? So EEOC wants you to respond to the company's allegations before it can go further.

As long as the EEOC has not made a determination, they are still open to supporting you. Do you have the energy to keep fighting by spelling out your response, and to keep documenting? If so, do it! The EEOC could have refused to investigate and issued you a right-to-sue letter, but instead they seem to be trying to sort out the facts.

I really feel for you. I had a similar experience years ago, after working years of 60 hour weeks for the benefit of my boss and the org., and was stunned to see people who I thought were friends being both oblivious to discrimination and totally concerned about protecting themselves. It is a very devastating experience to realize that giving people the benefit of the doubt often works against you. Sometimes people who are otherwise likable and competent really are sexist and behave badly.

[undeterred]

43. The material came directly from the company.

It was due by tomorrow. I actually have only had one brief conversation with the EEOC, so I have no idea what they think of it as a case.

I do feel shot down. I worked my ass off for these people. Evenings, holidays, weekends. And I covered for the jerk who harassed me whenever he had family issues come up, which was all the time.

And I am amazed to see a co-worker who I never discussed the details of the harassment with being asked for his opinion on whether it was true or not- like this counts as "investigation"? Its more like proof that men all stick together.

[spooky3]

62. Yes, this is sadly how you come to realize how you gave up a lot for the

Company, thinking someday you might get a grateful expression of appreciation for going so far beyond the norm, only to find that either they are clueless, or happy to exploit people, or sexist in that men who did all this would be paid and promoted, but women are barely noticed.

It's painful and scary to read the report but try to look at it from this perspective--if they had a good defense they would not have to stoop to bringing in irrelevancies from people with no evidence. They may be scared they will lose. In SH cases the company now is liable for far more in damages and will have to make many changes if they lose. But that doesn't make this the end if the story. I hope you can give EEOC a response they can work with. Hang in there!

[undeterred]

80. Thanks.

[elehhhhna]

77. You got paid overtime, right? If not file a wage claim.

Sic 'em.

And ask excoworkers for affidavits -- brief written accoutns of what they witnessed, which you'll submit in your protest or rebuttal.

[undeterred]

78. That is the part that hurts the most.

Coworker who I thought was a friend was the one who harassed me. Another one who I thought was a friend can't believe that there was harassment because we got along so well- which we did- until the harassment started. My coworker became my supervisor and thought he could cash it in for sex. When I said no he sabbotaged my job. Most people only saw us getting along well and they don't know what happened. They didn't see it and I didn't say anything. The people I trusted most stabbed me in the back. The company didn't really investigate because of course they didn't really want to find anything. And they've smeared me so badly by now. Its just a really hard thing.

[elehhhhna]

45. Good> Now reply point by point w/ stats, facts, etc. If they do a phone hearing

(more common now I hear) the company will sound like liars and probably lose. Remember,the gov't employees who investigate this stuff are liberal-leaning types who believe in upholding the law and can spot bull$hit a mile away.

[undeterred]

39. Thank you good people for responding.

I hid this post up here in womens rights because I didn't want to deal with any crazies in GD. But I thought maybe nobody would see it. I feel so alone.

I thought the person who did this was a friend. I trusted him. I ate lunch with him. And then in a week he turned around and degraded me and sabbotaged my job. I realized how many things he had been lying about. And everyone else sided with him and defended him. And I have no job and no reference from this job. :cry:

[LiberalLoner]

44. I'm just so sorry. I hope that good things happen to you soon. n/t

[mistertrickster]

47. Tape recorders . . . pretty hard to deny a verifiable direct quote.

On edit: that's how O'Reilly got nailed.

In fact, just telling your boss he's being taped would probably cool things off real quick (of course, that's not to imply that women should have to take these kind of precautions).

[Dem1988]

48. Lawyer up! Lawyer up! Lawyer up!

And did I mention...lawyer up?

[TomClash]

51. I suspect the EEOC just gave you the right to sue in Federal Court

The EEOC rarely does anything but issue right to sue letters. They get too many to investigate all thoroughly so they focus on the most egregious, those with the most employees who have been victimized or cases that support a particular law or policy they want to push.

The right to sue letter is a prerequisite for filing a claim in federal court.

[90-percent]

52. I'm a 57 year old male

And at my former workplace three males in their twenties got together and accused me of sexual harassment.

Our situations are opposite, but I was emotionally devastated. Your situation is much worse than mine was, and mine cost me a few nights sleep and a lot of emotional turmoil.

I called my situation "bullying by personnel department". I felt my accusers were bullying me and trying to get me fired....because they could.

Charging a colleague with sexual harassment is one of the few ways in the workplace where you can exert some real and mighty power. In this age of cut throat internal competition, one way to get ahead is to get your colleague fired.

I wish you the best and DU comes in handy for informed and comforting support. (Not in my case. Much of DU felt I deserved it) Go out and leapfrog your way to a good job. They are still out there. I'm starting mine on May 23.

-90% Jimmy

[Mopar151]

59. Oh God, the memories.....

Not all harassment is sexual, and it's not all direct. One of my tormentors found out how to push my buttons - by bullying my co-workers and direct-reports (not subordinates in my mind - I tried to be their facilitator) and trashing/stealing from the shop, then making my reaction the problem. Got me reassigned, and "restructured" out the door. Does'nt help when the HR manager's concern is self-protection, and she is semi-competent and overwhelmed on her good days.

[90-percent]

63. the modern workplace

Talk about divide and conquer. Our evil overlords have really managed to get us at each others throats, haven't they?

It's too bad that we are all so afraid of everything that we feel we will be more secure if we get our colleagues fired!

Talk about Darwinistic! At least the first Gilded Age* had us vs. them. Now it's us vs. us and them's just sitting back laughing and swimming in the money we all make for them

-90% jimmy


* First Gilded Age was the late 19th Century. We are currently in year thirty of Gilded Age 2.0

PS - Mopar151 - Top Fuel and Funny Car's the drug for me!

[Mopar151]

64. Explains the 90% moniker.

Geuss "Lid 'n Label Load" is too hard to explain to most
One of the few racing "Souveniers" I own is a hat signed by Bobby Lagana Sr., Bobby Jr, and Dom. And I've talked weather with Mike Strasberg - makes me sick what NHRA is doing to him.
I cheer for the lowbuck heroes, like "Madman" Frankie Taylor http://youtu.be/zsXENvOwgwc

And I hear you about the fear thing - I drive in hillclimbs, on some pretty wild roads - to fearful, manipulative co-workers, this makes me the enemy, 'cuz a lot of thier crap does'nt work on me.

[90-percent]

66. the Lagana Family!

I know those guys better than most other fuel racers. My bud on their team is Alfie Lamanna. one of the coolest unsung guys out there. It's also real nice to see the Lagana'a enjoy so much racing success these days. Dom was a runner up at a big NHRA Meet last year, which is the accomplishment of a lifetime and as big as big league nitro can get! Bobby Jr has been IHRA Top Fuel Champ more than once, hasn't he?

What Strasburg is dealing with in the NHRA is a travesty of justice and yet more arbitrary enforcement of NHRA rules. I hope they get this fixed. I hate the way NHRA always persecutes the little guys. Runs them out of town like common pygmies.

Nice to meet you. East Coast maybe? (I'm in NW CT, major liberal country here!)

Apologies for the thread hijack. I'm done. There's only three people on DU that even know nitro racing exists, and I've already met two of them!

-90% Jimmy

PS - fearlessness at work? I made up my mind maybe 15 years ago that I would not live in fear in my workplace. Self censoring and second guessing myself was stopped. I am incapable of being "politically correct". I'm pretty diplomatic and considerate usually, but I still refuse to sell out my principals in life just to please a frail ego'ed superior. We all compromise to get through life, I just took as stand I would be true to myself. Hasn't enhanced my career at all, but I'm a pretty happy person.

[Mopar151]

68. I'm in Central NH, between NED and NHMS

If I can get back to work , I may run into you at the Dragway when the nitro burners are in town.

[trud]

54. not clear

did the EEOC suit get tossed out? Your description sounds like it is talking about the company response.

[Stargleamer]

57. I hope you stay "undeterred"

I'm sorry to hear what happened--the jerks. Male sexuality can be so fucked up, and it can be so hard to get justice in this country--next to impossible at times. But wish you all the best as you struggle for justice.

[Exultant Democracy]

60. The EEOC always does this. Time for you to file a lawsuit. EEOC shot me down but i won in the end.

[otohara]

61. I Feel Your Pain

I sued Clear Channel - it was awful, everyone lied, their attorney was an douchebag asshole.

[Mopar151]

79. Exactly my experience with Cigna workman's comp. n/t

[femrap]

69. Sometimes I think it

would be best to handle these situations on one's own. Get a digital recorder, record the buttface demanding sex, then put the shoe on the other foot. And get a little web-cam.

The gov't is NEVER going to help working women.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you get a better job than the last one.

[spooky3]

74. the problem is that some state laws require that you tell the other person they are being recorded

or else they arrest YOU!

[felix_numinous]

73. Good that you are speaking out

and spreading the word. These people need to be exposed, and an article in a local newspaper wouldn't hurt.

[undeterred]

81. I talked to the Equal Rights Officer today.

Its all very confusing to me. The company response was sent to him and me and the EEOC.

The statement I wrote went to the EEOC which is Federal and also to the Equal Rights Division, which is the first step. So this person has to review it first. I knew he wouldn't have had a chance to read it yet but he talked with me for half an hour and he was very positive about the chances for finding probable cause and moving forward to a hearing. He said from what I told him about their response they were sounding a little scared and trying to divert attention from what happened and start wearing me down, which is what they do.

Not a chance.

He also asked me to come up with a settlement number (a very high one) so that he could offer it to them later this week after he has read through it. He said they won't give it to me but you have to start high.

There is some very embarrassing stuff about their managers that will come out in hearings and that will make them cringe because it goes against that squeaky clean family image.

I also have been thinking all day that this would make a great movie and raise awareness about sexual harassment. (I'm writing a victorious ending with a great courtroom scene wherein the managers and my harasser are humiliated by a sassy lawyer...)

[spooky3]

82. sounds as if you may have a very EEOC (?) rep.

If you get a good settlement, that is an outstanding victory. It may not make for as interesting a movie script, but it means you've won, probably with more $ and less stress and lost time and money than fighting it in court.

[undeterred]

83. Equal Rights Officer.

He did offer it to the company and called me today to say it was turned down. That is to be expected at this stage, I guess. He still has to respond to their response, and will let me know if I need to do anything before it proceeds to a hearing. I wish I could get it all overwith now, but I think the secret to a good result is patience.

[Darth_Kitten]

85. I hope you get the justice you deserve.

:hug:

[undeterred]

86. Thank you.

I hope I don't have to wait too long.

[undeterred]

84. What amazes me most is all the lying.

I was taught that it was wrong to lie. Not by some religion, but by my parents. If I were caught in a lie, I was punished for it.

The response to my statement is full of outrageous lies. Lies of denial. Lies made up about me. Lies that didn't even need to be told. Lies that were volunteered. The company says it is committed to ethics and integrity in its business principles but these are lies. Everyone knows these are lies.

When this goes to court I will tell the truth plain and simple. But many other people will swear to tell the truth and tell lies. And this is not to avoid going to prison, it is simply to keep their jobs... There are supposed to be laws that protect someone from testifying truthfully, but either nobody believes in them or they just don't want to rock the boat.

[jul61252]

91. couldn't agree more. great post.

[undeterred]

92. thank you

Still waiting for the EEOC or the Equal Rights Officer to take a step here. I can't get an attorney on my own until they give me a right to sue. If they act on it I won't need to. I gave them a ton of details so I hope they go in and investigate.

[spooky3]

90. undeterred, any update? +++++++ for you.

[undeterred]

93. No Probable Cause.

That was the finding of the Equal Rights Officer. I couldn't be more disappointed.

They don't really investigate anything. Turns out they haven't actually gone onsite to employers for years. I don't know if they even leave their cubicles when doing an "investigation".

No Probable Cause in my case depended on legal technicalities... did the person who did the harassment have the direct power to hire and fire me? The question I was asked in June is was he my supervisor. The answer to that was yes. But somehow over the months, the question changed and my answer to the new question was no.

Did I report the harassment to my employer while I worked there? No I did not, because I was given an ultimatum by my supervisor and taken off the assignment less than a week later. I did not know I was going to lose my job. I did know, as a contractor, that if I complained about my supervisor in any way, it was likely that I would end up unemployed.

Its possible to appeal. But I don't know what grounds there would be. I was a contractor, an as I was reminded today, contractors are not a protected class. Sexual harassment has to occur within such a strict set of circumstances its hardly ever prosecuted. And harassment of a contractor probably happens all the time and is never prosecuted. As they like to say at this company "You can do anyting to a contractor."

I'm disgusted. He did it, everyone knows it, and he got away with it. I am still unemployed.

[Feldspar]

94. "...contractors are not a protected class."

More importantly, WOMEN are not a protected class.

Men write the laws that make it improbable for women to "win" a sexual harassment case. It's just supposed to be enough that they even acknowledge that "some men" treat women like sexual chattel in the workplace.

I think you'd probably find that more men/trans*women* win this type of case.

[undeterred]

95. The law is written so narrowly that it is very difficult to prove

and win this kind of case. I'm still going to fight it because the employer is still lying, and when it gets to Federal court and I have subpoena powers I can at least prove that. But the corporations want to have the power to do anything to screw over the people who work for them without impunity and still maintain the facade that they are "protecting" you. They really have contempt for workers.

[AverageJoe90]

96. Sorry about that. nt

[undeterred]

97. I just filed my request for a hearing.

They have to give me a hearing so that I can have an attorney present my case before a judge. That will probably bring us to a full year after the sexual harassment took place.

They are not going to wear me down with lies. Even if things do not go my way at the hearing, I will not stop. They have lied and lied and lied, and when I have subpoena power, it will be proved in federal court. It takes as long as it takes.

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.

Liars get what the deserve in the long run.

[spooky3]

99. You are a strong person. May you prevail not only for yourself but for many other women (and men).

[anonymousworldwide]

98. KEEP PRAYING

Our thoughts and prayers to you.