decided to move this to Feminism forum

[iverglas]

just saw a reference to that forum here, so it's there now!

[Teaser]

1. Wait...

Most of those responses were skeptical of the reports of abuse, because evidence has not yet emerged to support the large amount of reporting.

So people were withholding judgement because of a lack of evidence.
The reports may be true, but what is clear is that the media jumped on board those reports before confirming them.

Pointing out that we need to verify isn't bias. It's science.

[iverglas]

2. there was a reason for the move

Sick of the apologists for denials of violence against women.

Nothing I have said in the past, or said in the post I have now moved, was about media reporting of anything.

What was being said about the reports of violence against women was not "Pointing out that we need to verify", and the motive behind what was being said was not a respect for science.

I moved my post because I have no desire to argue about women's reality. It was unfortunately a moment too late, but that doesn't mean I'm about to acknowledge that that reality is a fit subject for debate.

[whatever4]

3. Standing right beside you

That was a fantastic post. You aren't alone, though I think we all live feeling isolated, those of us that see things for how they really are. We hear numbers like one in four, or one in six, women sexually assaulted in her lifetime, and it's either treated as "it just happens, but not too often to worry about", or flat denial that it does happen, often enough to be an "issue"

They miss out on that "in her lifetime" bit, which means, essentially, that it's anything from infants to 90 year old women. We're never safe at any age, not JUST when we're young women, and most attractive. What most men think of as the typical targets. For some, it's the age of 3. Or 4. Or 5, 6 or 7. Take your pick. THAT is daycare, used to be called Nursery School. I know.

And for all that, it goes without saying we face many other gender related issues. All pushed back at us, somehow it remains our fault. Though we, ourselves, by and large for the VERY most part, are not the perpetrators.

We are yet left to solve the problem ourselves, the problems being OUR OWN problem, and not theirs. After all...most of them are innocent of these crimes, so we do we continue to blame men? It's not THEIR fault that the VAST majority of these crimes are committed by them. They do not see it as their own male culture that allows it to happen. To continue.

The problems and causes are never actually recognized, and so they continue. Other women (and men too) laugh at us for our concerns over violence, over rape. We're all scardy cats, being extreme to carry pepper spray and car keys (those being the preferred weapons of choice of the smaller, weaker, somehow too stupid to carry anything deadlier...female of the species). Until it happens to them. Or their daughter, sister, mother, wife...and then it's not so strange, but a real danger. And we all resign ourselves, thinking "it just happens"

Well, I say, slavery used to "just happen" too, was socially acceptable.

I look forward to the day when men are taught as boys how wrong rape and violence is. Until then, I can only watch, and be sad, because so many pretty young girls I see will one day feel so far from pretty, ugly is all they see. And it won't be from anything bad or wrong they did. And hardly anyone they can manage to tell will truly understand or care, with most not wanting to know in the first place.

Too ugly to talk about. But okay to let happen every day. Then such terrible things like what happened in New Orleans happen, and it's all confusion.

Except for us. Not confusing at all for us. Just plain fact, just reality. Just happens.

What do women do? They spend dollars and hours and pain making themselves as beautiful as possible to fit into society. Billions of dollars to pretty up, millions of hours spent on the effort, countless delicious meals avoided, exercise and then off to pick up the kids. Life runs like a treadmill, and we worry every day about how we look.

If it helps, you certainly aren't alone. Woman-hating has become quite fashionable lately, and it's creepy as hell. Like that asshole clown that comes on after the Daily Show, on Comedy Central; he's all about ugly women and bitches. He "speaks his mind" that one. And women confuse the heck out of him.

I wish we had a place. A city, a town, somewhere that really is safe. Fair. A place where we belong, and don't have to carry a gun around to feel safe, or risk whatever happens to us if we don't. As if it's our fault. Our fault for being there, somewhere, wherever it happens. So we should not be there? I wish we had a place

Men...I get so much grief, "why do you hate men so much", and they pathetically REFUSE to realize it's simply that I'm pointing out some of them, too many of THEM...hate us. But they don't just hate us with words. Like we do. They hate with actions, and refuse to believe it happens often enough to enough of us to make a difference. Enough to matter. Enough to care.

As if it's trivial, like laundry. Like, just sex we weren't in the mood for. In refusing to understand themselves...they're killing us. I have to wonder if they'll ever regret it.

[lukasahero]

4. This is a beautiful post - be prepared to get slammed for it

This forum may not be too friendly to one such as you. Please feel free to visit the Feminists Group here http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=341

Since you need a star to contribute in the groups, you'll note you have one now.

Peace.

[iverglas]

5. thanks, and to lukasashero

I hadn't been aware of the distinction between this forum and the feminists group when I first posted, and wasn't remembering the donor criterion for the groups when I moved the post there.

[lukasahero]

6. There shouldn't be a "distinction"

It's just, unfortunately, a reality. I have, however, found this a great place to find people who might find the goals of the FG more in line with what they should be able to expect from a forum called "women's rights and issues". :)

I guess the difference is that there we're trying to discuss women's issues, here there seems to be more interest in debating whether or not there are any.

I have long admired your posts so please, I meant no offense regarding placing your post either here or there.