Rape Myths

[Triana]

What are rape myths?

_ _ _ _ _

Rape myths are widely held, inaccurate beliefs about rape.

Myths of rape give people a false sense of security by legitimizing sexual assault or denying that it even occurs.

They often do this by blaming the victim for their experience or making excuses and minimizing their assault. In effect, these myths perpetuate sexual assault by not addressing the realities of rape.


Myth 1: Sexual assault does not occur often.

Reality: Sexual assault is experienced by Canadian women everyday at home, at work, at school, or on the street.

A 1993 survey found that one half of all Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. Almost 60% of these women were the targets of more than one of these incidents. (Statistics Canada, "The Violence Against Women Survey," The Daily, November 18, 1993.)

Statistics also show that one in four Canadian women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime. In BC this number is almost double(47%). ( J. Brickman and J. Briere, "Incidence of Rape and Sexual Assault in an Urban Canadian Population," The International Journal of Women's Studies, Vol. 7, no. 3, 1984.)


Myth 2: Women lie about being sexually assaulted to get revenge, for their own benefit, or because they feel guilty afterwards about having sex.

Reality: Women rarely make false reports about sexual assault. Acquaintance sexual assault is the most underreported crime in Canada. Only 6% of sexual assaults are reported to the police. As well, false accusations of rape happen no more often than false reports of other types of crime: about 2 to 4%, which means 96 to 98% of the reports are true. (Source: University of Alberta - 'Sexual Assault and the Law in Canada' )



Myth 3: Sexual assault is committed by strangers.

Reality: Sexual assault is not most often committed by strangers who jump out of bushes or wait in alleys for their victims. Over 80% of sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.



Myth 4: The best way for a woman to protect herself from sexual assault is to avoid being alone at night in dark, deserted places such as alleys or parking lots.

Reality: Most assaults occur in a private home (60%) and the largest percentage of these occur in the victim's home(38%). (D. Kinnon, "Report on Sexual Assault in Canada," Canadian Advisory Council on the Status of Women, Ottawa, 1981.)



Myth 5: Women who are sexually assaulted "ask for it" by the way they dress or act.

Reality: Reports show that there is a lot of diversity in the way women who are assaulted act and dress. Any woman of any age and physical type, in almost any situation can be sexually assaulted. The number one thing convicted rapists report looking for in a victim is vulnerability, not appearance. This myth takes the responsibility of the rape away from the rapist and shifts it to the victim. No one asks to be hurt in this way.



Myth 6: Rape only happens to young "sexy" women.

Reality: Women from two months old to ninety years old have been sexually assaulted. According to previous accounts of rape, rapists chose women based on their vulnerability, not on their physical appearance.



Myth 7: Men who sexually assault women are either mentally ill or sexually starved.

Reality: Studies of rapists that rapists are "ordinary" or "normal" men. The majority of convicted rapists assaulted for the emotion gratification they received from the violent act, not out of sexual frustration. (Helen Lenskyj, "An Analysis of Violence Against Women: A Manual for Educators and Administrators," Toronto: Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, 1992.)



Myth 8: Rape is a sexual act that is taken too far.

Reality: Rape is an act of violence; it involves asserting control over another person and taking their power from them. Rapists use a person's sexuality against their will as a weapon. Rapists are not men who cannot control their sexual desires; rape is most often a premeditated crime.



Myth 9: Men of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to sexually assault women.

Reality: Men who commit sexual assault come from every economic, ethnic, racial, age, and social group. As well, women who are sexually assaulted are from every economic, ethnic, racial, age, and social group.



Myth 10: It is only sexual assault if weapons are used.

Reality: Sexual assault is any unwanted act of a sexual nature that one person imposes on another. A weapon and visible physical injuries do not have to be present in order for a woman's experience to be sexual assault.



Myth 11: Unless she is physically harmed, a woman who has been sexually assaulted will not suffer any long-term effects.

Reality: Sexual assault can have serious effects on women's health and well-being. A recent survey of Canadian women found that 9 out of 10 incidents of violence against women have an emotional effect on the victim. (Statistics Canada, "The Violence Against Women Survey," The Daily, November 18, 1993.)

It is important to remember that, although reactions like anger, mistrust, and sadness are common, not all women experience the same emotions or express them in the same way. Because a woman does not feel or act a certain way does not mean that her experience of sexual assault was not legitimate.



Myth 12: Women cannot be sexually assaulted by their husbands or boyfriends.

Reality: Legally, women have the right to say 'no,' to any form of sex with anyone, including their spouse or the person they are dating. Sexual assault within relationships has been illegal in Canada since 1983, however many people still do not recognize it as a crime. Even within a relationship, each partner must give consent each time sexual relations occur.



Myth 13: If a woman consents to have sex at the start of making out with her boyfriend, then she is not assaulted if she changes her mind, but her partner keeps on going.

Reality: Legally, a woman has the right to change her mind about having sex at any point of sexual contact. If her partner does not stop at the time she changes her mind and says 'no,' this is sexual assault. As well, just because a woman is in a relationship with someone or has sex with a person before, does not mean that person cannot assault her. Consent must be given every time two people engage in sexual contact.



Myth 14: If a woman has had many sexual partners then she cannot be sexually assaulted.

Reality: The amount of sexual partners a woman has had does not forfeit her right to say 'no' to sexual contact at any time. A woman can also be assaulted by someone who she has been intimate with in the past. Consent must be freely given each time two people are intimate with each other.



Myth 15: If a man pays for dinner or a movie, the woman owes him sex.

Reality: "No" means "no", whether a man pays for a date or not. A woman is not obligated to have sex at any time.



Myth 16: When men become sexually aroused they have to have sex and cannot stop.

Reality: Although a man may want to have sex, there are no negative consequences if he does not have sex when he is aroused. A man's desire is not more important than a woman's right to choose who she does and does not have sex with.



Myth 17: When a woman says 'no,' she really means 'maybe' or 'yes.'

Reality: Although a man may believe he is receiving mixed messages, this is no excuse for rape. When a woman says 'no,' her partner should stop; he should never assume that 'no' means anything else but 'no.' If someone is unclear about what the partner wants, they should ask. The onus for obtaining consent is on the person initiating sexual contact. Ignorance or pleading misunderstanding is not a legitimate legal defense for sexual assault.



Myth 18: If a woman is drunk or passed out from drinking too much it is okay to have sex with her.

Reality: If a person is unconscious or their judgment is impaired by alcohol or drugs, legally, they cannot give consent. Having sex with a woman when she is drunk is sexual assault.



Myth 19: If the attacker is drunk at the time of the assault then they cannot be accused of rape.

Reality: The attacker is responsible for their actions no matter how intoxicated they are. Being drunk is not an excuse to force sex on anyone legally. Being drunk is not an acceptable legal defense an accused rapist can use.



Myth 20: It is okay for a man to pressure a woman into having sex.

Reality: Any type of verbal or physical coercion that is used to obtain sex is legally considered sexual assault.



Myth 21: Only young women are sexually assaulted.

Reality: Women of all ages from infancy to old age are survivors of sexual assault. However, most women who are assaulted are between the ages of 14 and 24.



Myth 22: Women secretly want to be raped.

Reality: There is a big difference between fantasizing about aggressive sex and wanting to be raped. A woman is in control of her fantasies; however, women are not in control when they are being sexually assaulted. Rape is a violent, terrorizing, and often humiliating experience that no woman wants or asks for.



Myth 23: A woman cannot be raped if she does not want to be assaulted.

Reality: Force or the threat of force is often used by rapists to assault their victims. Rapists will often choose victims they believe they can physically overcome.

This myth is used to blame the victim; it is important to remember that no matter what a woman does during an assault, whether she chooses to physically resist or not, it is not her fault. She did what she had to in order to get out of a very difficult experience alive.



Myth 24: Out of all the crimes committed in Canada, sexual assault accounts for only a small number of these offences.

Reality: According to Statistics Canada, in the year 2000, sexual assault came in third for the highest number of violent crimes committed in Canada. The number of assaults committed accounted for the highest number of violent crimes.

Of the 24,049 accounts of sexual assault recorded, 3,727 accounts occurred in BC.



Myth 25: You can tell if a woman is really sexually assaulted by the way she acts.

Reality: It is important to remember that, although reactions like anger, mistrust, and sadness are common, not all women experience the same emotions or express them in the same way. How a woman responds after a sexual assault can be influenced by factors such as her cultural background, whether she knows her attacker or not, her support system, how she views her experience, etc. Because a woman does not feel or act a certain way does not mean that her experience of sexual assault was not legitimate.



Myth 26: It is only sexual assault if a woman has been physically injured.

Reality: Most women who are sexually assaulted do not have visible injuries. This does not make the experience less of an assault; nor does it mean that a woman will not have any negative effects from her assault.



Myth 27: Men cannot be sexually assaulted.

Reality: Anyone can be sexually assaulted. However, most sexual assaults that occur are against women and are perpetrated by men.

[Warpy]

1. K&R

because there are still too many people out there, even here on DU, who believe some or all of those myths. Some women want to believe them because they want to believe they're safe. Some men want to believe them because they can't believe some of their buddies are capable of the ugliness of rape, even though they know those buddies have a rotten opinion of all women.

[Triana]

6. ...and the self-righeous "blame the victim" crowd who proudly claim...

...(or have this attitude): "it'll never happen to ME because *I* make better choices and *I'm* smarter. Only stupid women put up with abuse/get raped/whatever. THAT only happens to OTHER people."

Pfffft!

How LUCKY (and purely so) that it has never happened to THEM - YET.

[jody]

2. Sadly, law enforcement officers rarely prevent a rape and the arrest/conviction rate is not high.

IMO, every woman should be given a handgun, trained to use it against rapists, and given a reward for every rapist shot or killed.

That also applies to woman who have a restraining order against someone for domestic abuse.

I'm tired of pampering rapists and those who abuse spouses with law-enforcement policies that err in favor of the criminal.

I'm ready to err in favor of victims by arming women.

[Triana]

5. patriarchal society, sense of "entitlement", misogyny, women as property meant to

"service" men, and general IGNORANCE about what abuse even IS and how and why it leads to VIOLENCE (and only when it actually BECOMES violence is anyone even willing to LOOK at it), the view of women as less than human, and as hysterical animals that are to be "controlled" and who are of lesser intelligence incapable of making decisions - are all part of the problem.

[pnwmom]

3. Myth: women never make false accusations of rape.

I agree that it is likely that there are no more false accusations of rape than of any other crime, though I doubt that the numbers of false accusations of any crime are as low as reported in that Canadian study.

But during the Duke rape hoax, I encountered people over and over who believe the myth that women NEVER make a false accusation of rape, because it is too traumatic to do so. And the belief in that myth is what allowed this railroading by a self-serving prosecutor to be supported for so long by progressives who should have known better.

[Triana]

4. They rarely do - they certainly don't as often as men claim they do...

...but that doesn't mean they NEVER do. It's just rare.

MEN, (and the courts) however, use the rare occasion when women do make false accusations to keep up the MYTH that women usually lie about having been raped - and they DON'T "usually" lie about it - they RARELY do.

In the Duke case, it appears she did. In MOST cases - not so.

[Chulanowa]

13. It's not a claim; it's a worry

Maybe it's a relic from the "don't have sex until you're married, here's why" thing - that if you sleep with a girl, she'll claim rape to get herself out of trouble or to save face if anyone finds out about it. Urban legend or not, it's still one of those things that gnaws in a guy's brain. Post-consent nonconsent has happened before, and it always ends up the same - He said she said, with all the credibility going - as it usually does in any crime - to the accuser, and no real way to defend against it. The only thing that went wrong with the Duke case was that DNA evidence showed she was accusing people falsely - had she accused the men who's semen was actually on her underwear, odds are they would be sitting in jail.

I'm not for a moment going to believe that most claims of rape are like this. But I'm not going to pretend it's not a worry for men, either.

[noiretextatique]

14. women worry about rape

and since 96-98% of rape accusations are true, and only 2-4% are false. it is far more likely that a woman you know (probably several) will be raped in your lifetime than it is that you will be falsely accused of rape.

[Chulanowa]

15. I know that

Of course, that doesn't stop the paranoia that it'll be just your luck to be the one schlub who does get felony sexual assault charges the morning after. Just like the fact that most women will never face rape doesn't stop most women from worrying about hte possibility, dig?

[noiretextatique]

16. False Accusations

by Jim Hines


"It happens. It's a legitimate fear. But it's not one I've got a lot of sympathy for."

It's the question that comes up at almost every rape awareness presentation I've ever done. It's almost always a man who asks, though I've had women ask as well: "What about when a girl lies about rape to get back at a man?"


This is usually followed by a personal story about a friend who were falsely accused, and the damage his reputation suffered as a result.


I think one of the things that scares people is the arbitrariness of the charge. In theory, anyone could make a false accusation. Rape is a crime that often leaves little or no evidence. Maybe the girl originally consented, then decided the next day that it was rape. Maybe she's making it up so she won't look like a slut.


Regardless of the motivation, false accusations scare us. We worry about our reputation. What will our family think? We'll be condemned without a trial. Take Craig Fry, a special education teacher from Leslie, Michigan who was charged with three counts of criminal sexual conduct. The charges were dropped when it was discovered the teenager who made the accusation had lied. She has now been charged and sentenced for the false accusation, but what of Craig Fry? His name appeared in the Lansing State Journal on numerous occasions. He was dragged through the court system. Mr. Fry died in June of a heart attack. The State Journal quotes Mr. Fry's fiancé as saying the false charges "took their toll on him."


This is a horrible position to be in, and I can't imagine the fear, humiliation, and shame Craig Fry and his family endured throughout this process.


But I also know that this case has received more attention in the local news than any other rape case in recent years (with the exception of the Kobe Bryant case). Why is that? Why is a false accusation sensational enough to earn ongoing, in-depth coverage when the average rape gets a single article or a brief mention on TV?

http://www.xyonline.net/Hines_False_accusations.shtml

[lukasahero]

18. Here's an idea:

Try having sex only with women you trust. Seriously, maybe I'm just old-fashioned but if you don't trust the woman you're having sex with, should you really be having sex with her?

As for the 'most men will never be accused versus the most women will never be raped' comparison - last I read, 1 in 4 women will be raped in their lifetime. Your comparison lacks something when translated against the odds.

[Chulanowa]

19. Where did you read that?

Just out of curiosity.

And I agree! But what I'm saying is that it's such a prevalent cultural meme that is's really hard to get the "what if...?" out of there.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

7. #9 isn't a myth, and the statement presented as a reality doesn't contradict it.

It certainly is the case that you can find both rapists and rape victims from all ethnic and social backgrounds.

But it's also the case that you will find significantly more per capita from some backgrounds than others.

Trying to pretent that this is a myth will make it harder to reduce the incidence of rape and sexual assault.

[noiretextatique]

17. which backgrounds produce more rapists?

and provide some statistics, please.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

21. Some examples:

Rape is far more common in some countries - from memory, Haiti and parts of Africa have notably high incidence of rape than in most of the West.

In the West, I suspect (although I don't have data) that rape is more common in cities than rural areas.

Nearly (but not quite) all rapists are men, not women.

A more controversial one is that in the US blacks commit far more rapes per capita than whites.

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/cvusst.htm has all sorts of statistics

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/cvus/current/cv0548.pdf claims - unless I'm misinterpreting it - that in 2005 32.8% of single-offender rapes reported in the US were committed by people perceived as whites, 48.5% by people perceived as blacks and the remainder "other" or "not available".

Compare that with 74.7% of the population being white vs 12.1% being black, and you get about 9 times more reported rapes by blacks per capita than by whites.

There are all sorts of possible sources of inaccuracy (perceived vs actual race, different reporting in different communities) - although those could just as well mean that the actual ratio is higher rather than lower.

But there's no way that 9 times falls even close to the margin of error.


http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/cvus/current/cv0515.pdf gives you the statistics for breakdown of *victims* by income and race. I haven't done the maths - feel free to do so yourself if you've got the time - but I'll bet you all Lombard St to a china orange that poor women are more likely to be raped than rich ones, and I'd be surprised if black women aren't more likely to be raped than white ones.


I suspect it would be impossible to get accurate statistics on correlation of propensity to rape with income, because you could only gather data on convicted rapists, who wouldn't be a representative sample, but I'd be mildly surprised if there weren't a non-trivial correlation there if one could.

[noiretextatique]

22. one problem i have with your statistics

is that they lump rape and sexual assault in with other violent crimes. the other problem i have with your interpretation of those statistics is this: black men are more likely to me arrested and convicted than white men. i'll have to do some more research before i reach the conclusion that you've already reached.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

23. I've used the wrong table - thanks.

You're quite right, that's not the table I thought it was, which means that I'm using the wrong figures. But yes, that table doesn't say anything at all about incidence of rape.

I'll try and find the right one in the morning, but now I'm going to bed.

[Donald Ian Rankin]

25. OK, I think this is the correct link

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/cvus/current/cv0540.pdf has the data on rape I was quoting in it. It looks like my numbers were correct after all.

[raccoon]

8. K&R, so this just went to greatest.

Watch for the usual suspects! :shrug:

[Triana]

9. Ruh-roh....

thanks!

[IronLionZion]

10. I disagree with part of #7.

What's "ordinary" or "normal"? I'm sure rape is NOT it! I'll agree that rape is a crime of violence, not for sexual gratification. But it's most definitely not OK to view all men with suspicion for being possible rapists. That just encourages fear and paranoia for no good reason.

Thank you for including Myth #27. There are more male victims than anyone could ever know, for the simple reason that men are more unwilling or ashamed to report it. There was a news report of a woman who sexually abused her own infant son. The Family International cult had adult women abusing very young boys "to teach them about love". There are male-on-male crimes. Once in a while a strong woman can and will commit an act of sexual violence against a man using tools or objects.

You don't need a penis to sexually abuse someone. You don't need a vagina to be sexually abused.

[raccoon]

11. I think what was meant was rapists aren't always some weird-looking, bushy-haired strangers.

They can be the guy next door, or a pillar of the community.

[IronLionZion]

12. OK, that makes more sense. Thanks. nt

[One_Life_To_Give]

20. I would leave parts out

In Myth 1 it starts out with claims that Sexual Assault is a common everyday occurance all across Canada. (That would be like 1 million a day?)

Then we hit the 93 study about violence against women that IMHO only blurs the subsequent point. That over her lifetime a typical canadian woman has a 25% chance of being sexually assaulted.
If were talking about sexual assault then don't confuse the issue with data about all violent crimes committed against women. Gives the impression that it was included only because the primary data was too weak to make the case.

Incidentaly the last bit of data does give us a basis to estimate the rate of sexual assault.
There are approx. 16 million women in Canada with lifespans of approx. 75yrs so there will be a rate of 4million assualts every 75 years or 53,333 per year or 146 per day. Which IMO is a much better way to start out the response to Myth 1.

[eridani]

24. I'd revise #16

When arousal moves toward orgasm, it really can't be stopped. But that isn't the point. The point is men's sense of entitlement that they deserve the assistance of another human being to help the process to completion. Whatthehell ever happened to Rosy Palm and her five daughters? Much faster and more reliable than going out of your way to find someone to beat up, no?

[Triana]

26. well said RE: entitlement

That's exactly what it is. The idea that women are here to "service" mens' needs. Whatever they are and especially if they're sexual.

[Boojatta]

27. If Myth 13 were not included, Myth 8 could be misunderstood.

Myth 8: Rape is a sexual act that is taken too far.

Myth 13: ...

Reality: ... a woman has the right to change her mind about having sex at any point of sexual contact. If her partner does not stop at the time she changes her mind and says 'no,' this is sexual assault.

It's a sexual assault, but is it rape? Is Myth 13 a rape myth, a sexual assault myth, or both?

[plantwomyn]

28. Sexually assaulted and molested are just

Legal code words. It really pissed me off when I hear the legalize "the child was molested" RAPED! "He sexually assaulted her" RAPED! Women and lawyers should stop using the "cleansed" versions of RAPE!