When will mothers stand up and change the world?

[plantwomyn]

To all of you mothers out there.

There are so many things that are wrong with our society.
Women and children are starving, homeless, undereducated, unappreciated and abused.
We spend money on war instead of education, health care, poverty or peace.

The reason:
It’s a man’s world.
So mothers should take responsibilty for the ways of this world.
You raised these men, every one of them.
You did not instill in them morality.
You did not teach them to be just or kind or compassionate.
You taught them how to treat women and children.
You taught them how to talk to us and about us.
You taught them what a woman is, what a family looks like and how to love.
And your daughters learned from you to accept abuse of themselves and their children.
And they die everyday by the hands of the men they love.

These men are your sons.

[villager]

1. I have actually been wondering this my entire life.

(I am, btw, both a son and a father...! ;-)

[femrap]

11. You need to teach your sons

to ejaculate responsibly!

[Taverner]

2. Haven't they already?

[shraby]

3. Sometimes the lessons the father teaches

overrides what the mother teaches.

[Warpy]

4. When will the larger world stop taking over

and fucking up all our hard work as soon as our kids confront it?

Changing the world isn't a mother's job. The world is what it is. Creating and raising a reasonable human being to enter it is her job and most mothers do an exemplary job of that.

Personally, I think that's sufficient labor to put on the shoulders of any woman and most of the world's mothers do it while also doing the mule work of the world plus all her husband's emotional shitwork.

One of the most destructive fictions in the world is that the hand that rocks the cradle will somehow rule the world. That's only true until the kid is old enough to leave the cradle and enter kid culture.

If you want to change the world, tell men to change it. They broke it, it's their damn job to fix it.

Now y'all have to excuse me, the baby's crying, the two year old tried to stuff the cat into the toilet and they're both unhappy, I have to start making a costume for the six year old's Easter play and I have to be at work in another hour.

That's what mothers are doing, people, and it's enough.

[knitter4democracy]

20. Can I get an amen!

Tell the truth, Sister Warpy! :D Tell it!

I don't need another job, thanks. I'm just barely surviving as it is. Sheesh!

[Quantess]

41. Yes, thank you, Warpy!

Mothers are doing what they have done through all of humanity ....all of civilization's history! This is seen as "women's work".

[Donnachaidh]

5. what an absolute crock of shit!

Blame the mother.

Tell me, just when do these MEN who were also involved in the creation of these kids, stand up and take responsibility of THEIR actions?

Just when do the MEN who run the countries, who run the businesses, who control most of the world stand up and take RESPONSIBILITY for their actions?

THAT never happens. But hey, the scapegoat is always going to be the mother.

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. As the mother of two sweet and kind little boys I can tell you that the OP

is going to do nothing to improve anything. But it will piss off a lot of mothers of male children. (And probably a lot of the wonderful men of DU, as well.)

[plantwomyn]

7. When they are taught that this is what a real man does.

nt

[stillcool]

8. I find this to be pertinent...

●-Michael C.C. Adams, The Best War Ever: America and World War II About 25-30 percent of WWII casualties were psychological cases; under very sever conditions that number could reach as high as 70-80 percent. In Italy, mental problems accounted for 56 percent of total casualties. On Okinawa, where fighting conditions were particularly horrific, 7,613 Americans died, 31,807 sustained physical wounds, and 26, 221 were mental casualties.-Adams, 95
Trying to repress feelings, they drank, gambled suffered paralyzing depression, and became inarticulately violent. A paratrooper’s wife would “sit for hours and just hold him when he shook.”
Afterward, he started beating her and the children: “He became a brute.” And they divorced —-Adams, 150

• As of May 2006, an estimated 1,600 American children have lost a parent(s) to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.
• Each year around 300,000 children are temporarily removed and 65,000 to 70,000 of those children are ultimately taken from their parents forever, according to the Dept. of Health and Human Services.
• In 2004, 532,000 children were in foster care, doubling the number
from 1997. Of those 532,000 only 129,000 had been cleared for adoption.
• In 2000, 1.5 million U.S. children had an incarcerated parent. Between 1990-2001, the number of women in prison increased by 106%.
• Between 1992-2002, the number of infants and toddlers entering foster care increased by 110%.
• The rate of children in foster care increased from 4.7 for every 1,000 U.S. children in 1980 to 7.7 in 2000.
• In 1993, more than 60% of the homeless population in NYC municipal shelters were former foster youth. In a 1994 survey, 36.2% of homeless individuals reported a history of foster care.
http://www.theorphansociety.org/libliterature.asp

Reevaluating Society's Perception of Shell Shock
http://www.wfa-usa.org/new/shellshock.htm
In 1915, physician C. S. Myers unknowingly acknowledged the result of soldier's mental conflict between idealistic courage and survival leading to a form of nervous disorder, which he termed shell shock.
Shell-shocked soldiers made an impression on society not only because of their sheer numbers, but also because they called into question masculine ideals of the era. Governments suddenly found themselves confronted with sizable numbers of men who claimed to be unable to fight, but showed no visible signs of wounds. After the war ended, society had to face those same men who remained in a strange mental state.
-----------------------------------------------------
Most likely, the general public knew little about how shell-shocked soldiers hindered military efforts. However, they quickly became aware of the disease's social implications. The soldier had not only failed at being a courageous hero, but had fallen subject to hysteria, a purely feminine disease. Some doctors even called it hysteria, which emphasized the soldiers' inability to maintain their masculinity. Female Malady stated, "signs of physical fear were judged as weakness and alternatives to combat- pacifism, conscientious objection, desertion, even suicide-were viewed as unmanly." Upon realization that soldiers' self-control over their emotions was unachievable, shell shock destroyed society's ideal masculinity.

Battle Continues Over Vietnam PTSD Numbers
08.23.07, 12:00 AM ET

THURSDAY, Aug. 23 (HealthDay News) --
-In the years following the end of U.S. involvement in Vietnam, the actual number of veterans psychologically scarred by what they had encountered in the war became the subject of heated controversy.
A 1988 study, conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, estimated a relatively low lifetime rate of PTSD among veterans of 14.7 percent.
But a second government study -- the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS) -- calculated a much higher lifetime figure of 30.9 percent and a current figure of 15.2 percent. Both studies relied
heavily on veterans' self-reports of PTSD symptoms and exposure to wartime trauma, and both drew heavy
criticism.
"The most important results have been underemphasized, and that is the dose/response relationship, and that's about as close as you can come to a causal relationship," he said. "The other thing is the rate of 1-in-5 war-related onset of PTSD and 1-in-10 still current after the war of impairing PTSD. That is far from trivial. This is a heavy cost by any count."
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=83448

• In 2000, 1.5 million U.S. children had an incarcerated parent. Between 1990-2001, the number of women in prison increased by 106%.
• In 1995, 12% of children in foster care had not received routine health care. 90% had not received services to address developmental delays.
• Between 1992-2002, the number of infants and toddlers entering foster care increased by 110%.
• In 1993, more than 60% of the homeless population in NYC municipal shelters were former foster youth.
• According to a 1999 report, less than 50% of foster youth had graduated from high school, compared to 85% of the general population.
• In 2000, of 732 mid-western foster care youths, nearly 52% had lived in three or more foster homes and had moved schools.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are more than half a million children and youth in the U.S. foster care system, a 90% increase since 1987.Three of 10 of the nation’s homeless are former foster children.
A recent study has found that 12-18 months after leaving foster care:
27% of the males and 10% of the females had been incarcerated
33% were receiving public assistance
37% had not finished high school
50% were unemployed
Children in foster care are three to six times more likely than children not in care to have emotional, behavioral and developmental problems,
---80 percent of prison inmates have been through the foster care system.
* 872,000 children and youth were confirmed victims of abuse or neglect in the United States in 2004.

Children are 11 times more likely to be abused in State care than they are in their own homes.
http://fostersurvivor.netfirms.com/statistics.shtml

Overview of Combat Stress Control
Field Manual No. 22-51: Leaders' Manual for Combat Stress Control: Booklet 1
Headquarters, Department of the Army, Washington, DC
1-6. The Potential High-Tech Battlefield
United States Army planners have predicted what future high-tech combat could entail. This was demonstrated in the recent past with the world's confrontation with Iraq over the seizure of Kuwait. Based on the current world situation, such future battles are not unthinkable. The unprecedented debilitating effects of battlefield in the twenty-first century will demand even more attention to the preparation of soldiers, crews, and leaders for combat hardships. In such battlefields, the soldier will face many challenges
http://www.ptsdsupport.net/overview_of_Combat_Stress_Control.html

- Increasing numbers of young people have been placed in adult jails where they are at risk of assault, abuse, and death.
Currently, 40 states permit or require that youth charged as adults be placed pre-trial in an adult jail, and in some states they may be required to serve their entire sentence in an adult jail. According to the National Council on Crime and Delinquency, since 1990 the incarceration of youth in adult jails has increased 208%.
http://www.campaign4youthjustice.org/Downloads/NEWS/JPI014Consequences_Summary.pdf

In 1985 one out of every 320 Americans were in jail.
In 1995 one out of every 167 Americans were in jail.
Between1980 and 1994, the number of people in federal and state prisons increased 221%.
Today, 2 million Americans are in prison.
1.2 million are African-American men.

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/statistics/entryexit2005.htm
Foster Care in the Year 2020 (if nothing changes in child welfare trends)
Children who will experience the foster care system Over 9,000,00014
Children who will age out of the foster care system 300,00015
Foster youth aging out of the system that will experience homelessness 75,00016
Foster youth aging out of the system that graduate from college 9,00017
Number of children killed by abuse or neglect 22,50018
http://www.casey.org/MediaCenter/MediaKit/FactSheet.htm

Nationwide, researchers, practitioners, and policymakers are increasingly focusing on a growing tragedy—large numbers of youth with mental health problems becoming involved in the juvenile justice system. A recent study by the National Center for Mental Health and Juvenile Justice
found approximately 70% of the youth in residential juvenile justice settings meet criteria for at least one mental health disorder(Shufelt &Cocozza, 2006).

I've seen bodies ripped to pieces by bullets, blown into millions of scraps by bombs, and pierced by booby traps. I’ve smelled the stench of bodies burned. I’ve heard the air sound like it was boiling from rounds flying back and forth. I’ve lived an insanity others should never live..."
-- Dennis Tenety, Fire in the Hole<[/i>

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. Yes, the foster care system can be especially cruel

I heard stories from the street kids of being taken from admittedly abusive homes and put into homes where the foster "parents" were taking in kids just for the money and otherwise treated them badly. (Some had wonderful foster homes, but it was really random.)

Then, on top of it, they were kicked out on their own at the age of 18. Now personally, if I had a foster child who reached age 18, I'd hope that I'd let them stay on until they finished school, but evidently, a lot of foster parents don't want the kids after the money stops.

[stillcool]

15. I was a foster kid...

and also the daughter of a fucked up WWII veteran. I believe it has taken generations of emotional scars, whether they be due to poverty, or war, to create all this misery. What goes in is what comes out. From the cradle to the jail.

[femrap]

13. Great information...

Why do young men buy into this macho, military, patriotic propaganda? The military turns these men into murderers during times of war. They become something they don't recognize and the guilt and shame doesn't go away. And what really affects them is what is done to women and children. In modern war, it is women, children, and elderly who are 70 to 80% of the casualties. The violence to the women is horrendous...and it is encouraged by the military. It has ALWAYS been encouraged in war.

I feel so sorry for poor people who see the military as the only way out of poverty...of course GWB has made it that way.

I can't wait for the day when the rich boys start a war and no one shows up to fight it.

Violence is glorified in our culture...did you see the Oscars last night? 'No Country for Old Men' won everything...total violence. Imagine what the country does to women? Our culture is experiencing an overload of machoism and testosterone....and teaching young women that they are good for nothing but sex really pisses me off. We have the MSM to blame for that!

[stillcool]

16. It is who we are...

we are a nation of veterans, a nation of wars. We live in a phony society of propaganda and imagery, where form is valued so much more than function. To me it is a 'no-brainer' as to how we got this way. Mass psychosis.

[femrap]

18. It's rather strange to

be the one who sees it, and those that suffer from it are in COMPLETE DENIAL....or to cope have accepted religion as an all encompassing answer to their misfortunes.

[plantwomyn]

25. Women in the military

http://www.alternet.org/asoldierspeaks/46294/
According to the Pentagon, there were 2,374 reported cases of sexual assault against women in uniform over the past year. But as the saga of military police officer Suzanne Swift shows, numbers alone don't tell the whole story.

http://www.truthout.org/cgi-bin/artman/exec/view.cgi/57/17327
Military Hides Cause of Women Soldiers' Deaths
By Marjorie Cohn
t r u t h o u t | Report

Monday 30 January 2006

In a startling revelation, the former commander of Abu Ghraib prison testified that Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, former senior US military commander in Iraq, gave orders to cover up the cause of death for some female American soldiers serving in Iraq.

Last week, Col. Janis Karpinski told a panel of judges at the Commission of Inquiry for Crimes against Humanity Committed by the Bush Administration in New York that several women had died of dehydration because they refused to drink liquids late in the day. They were afraid of being assaulted or even raped by male soldiers if they had to use the women's latrine after dark.

The latrine for female soldiers at Camp Victory wasn't located near their barracks, so they had to go outside if they needed to use the bathroom. "There were no lights near any of their facilities, so women were doubly easy targets in the dark of the night," Karpinski told retired US Army Col. David Hackworth in a September 2004 interview. It was there that male soldiers assaulted and raped women soldiers. So the women took matters into their own hands. They didn't drink in the late afternoon so they wouldn't have to urinate at night. They didn't get raped. But some died of dehydration in the desert heat, Karpinski said.

[niyad]

9. how nice of you to absolve men from ANY responsibility for the problems in this world.

[Book Lover]

10. You've got some ovaries to come here and tell me that I fucked up my son

How many children have you raised? Did they turn out to be perfectly modeled in the manner you made them, or did they become human beings?

oh and by the way, did you ever think a father might have a small part in raising childre, or is everything my fault since I've got the uterus? Or will you tell me how men never raise children, despite all evidence to the contrary?

[knitter4democracy]

14. I used to think that. Then my kids went to school.

Their peers and their teachers have a lot of sway and influence, more than I had realized (and I was a high school teacher before kids--I just didn't think it happened that early). My daughter has learned from her friends at school that being popular is more important than being smart, and my son has learned that toy guns are great fun and that he wants to be a cop. They didn't learn that here at home, that's for sure.

I'm fighting popular culture here. I censor what they watch at home, we talk about what I do let through, we talk about how our faith needs to be lived and how to love our neighbors as ourselves, and I do my best with my health problems and all--and then they go to school and learn all about shows I won't let them watch (even have had teachers show them those shows in class!), music that I don't allow at home, and games that encourage sexist behavior.

So, unless we all band together (which even Dems can't do, let alone all mothers), bad things are going to continue to happen.

[plantwomyn]

27. Knock Knock

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlI4IN03Obg&NR=1

[seabeyond]

40. that... was amazing. thank you for sharing this. i appreciate the

opportunity listening. loved it.

[plantwomyn]

17. Interesting that the angry replies are all about FAULT.

The post is about RESPONSIBILITY.

[Book Lover]

19. If you had raised any children of your own,

you might see how you couch your OP in terms that women have heard from the beginning of time; about how everything is our fault (not the fathers' and certianly not the fault of the people themselves). I don't need this shit from you in this forum.

[LostinVA]

21. If it makes you feel better, she doesn't just give lectures in this forum

[Book Lover]

22. Well, sort of

Glad to know the love is spread all around...

[LostinVA]

26. Yep -- a little bit in GLBT, a little in GD

Goes a long way.

:eyes:

[Gormy Cuss]

24. Interesting that the OP avoids ascribing responsibility to men.

ALL adults, not just parents and certainly not just mothers need to stand up and change the world.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. its a post where you are squarely blaming women for all of societies flaws

nice one.

[we can do it]

23. The Reason? They Are Too Worried About What Men Will Think of Them

Which I think is just pathetic. Men don't give a shit what women think of them (unless they are trying to get laid). Women need to get some self esteem,and a backbone and stand up for what's right, not just roll over because men might not find them attractive. The way many women demean Hillary (or any other strong woman) is a prime example. A man of quality is not intimidated by a woman of equality.

[Mushroom]

28. To all of you mothers out there.

You mothers? LOL

Okay, I'm open to suggestions.

What do you propose mothers specifically do that fathers don't have to do at all because it's a man's world?

[Warpy]

29. We bear them, we birth them, we nurse them

we bathe them, we dress them. When a man does anything for his children, he expects to be praised to the skies for "helping out." It's OUR JOB and every mother I know has complained of feeling like a single parent from time to time.

Don't kid yourselves that your contribution is equal, it isn't. It might or might not be an essential one. That's up to you, not us. We could use the help, though.

However, once those kids are out in the world, in school, in sports, on the playground, don't blame us when the larger world takes over. We did what we could. At the end of the day, if the kid is warm, fed, clean and clothed and in bed, we did our job.

[Mushroom]

33. Mothers do all that

and work to educate/fix the larger world - the OP fails to mention it. Gutter politics is played 24/7 on women, and women's strengths and fortitude are attacked non-stop.

[Cerridwen]

34. Self-delete

replied in wrong spot.

LOL

[Name removed]

30. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. what an awful post. what you are pretty much saying is all of societys faults belong to women

ugh

[IowaGirl]

35. Hey, I only had girls but you do make an interesting point. I do have a son-in-law and he is a very

kind caring human being and so is DH.

[WildClarySage]

36. When will Father's stand up and change the world?

You forget that we are only half the input. Instead of blaming us mothers of boys, please recognize that other people are also educating our sons. How about asking them to change what they do?

Because, as usual, it's easier to blame women. Shame on you.

[Ellen Forradalom]

37. It's all mother's fault.

Oldest line in the book.

:eyes:

[Katherine Brengle]

38. Yay, blame the women!

[Triana]

39. When will the MEN who run it stop screwing it up?

Women have enough to do to deal with that - trying to survive and raise kids amidst it. MEN need to fix what they destroyed - and continue to destroy. MEN run the world, not women.

Children have TWO parents - usually - don't absolve men of their fatherhood duties. It's not all up to women, nor should it be.

[The Daring 734]

42. We should but...

We live in a society that without proper support, we easily slip down the cracks and learn to hate ourselves for being who we are. I think both institutional learning facilities and the media have a lot to do with this.