Efforts to stop bullying....

[bobbolink]

I read Dear Abby in the paper today, and a letter was about a girl being bullied in school. These websites were given out:

stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov

safeschools.com

tolerance.org

And there may be more. Since Columbine, there has been a large effort to put an end to the pain caused to children who are bullied.

SO.........why is there NOT an effort to do the same for poor folk who are abused and bullied?

I posted my tale about being homeless to bring to light the issue of abuse in low-income housing. I was told that it would lead to people wanting to take action. Do CHANGE the situation. Yet, nothing has come of it.

WHY aren't there Ombudsmen in every place there is subsidized housing?

WHY aren't ther Ombudsmen in every place there are agencies who "help" poor folk?

WHY aren't "progressives" ACTIVE on this issue?

WHY are we on our own with this, and can't get people to even discuss it???

WHY????

What does it take? Another Columbine.... somebody or somebodies being abused in low-income housing who finally goes postal?

WHAT?

WHY?

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. The poor are pre-packaged...

Readymade and perfect foils and victims for the rich and those that aspire. Those are the people who have "the voices" in our country today.

The only comfort in all of this is that many of those that aspire are on the way to poverty. Those of us who are already poor are waiting. Some of us will not be kind and understanding when they join us. Patience with naifs and fools is not our strongest suit.

[bobbolink]

3. If only it were just the "rich"!! One look at DU and you can see pretty quickly this is across the

board.

If it doesn't affect "me", then screw it.

"Some of us will not be kind and understanding when they join us. Patience with naifs and fools is not our strongest suit."

You are so right, and it's what I've been trying to get "progressives" to think about.

WHY did we learn NOTHING from the riots of the past????

[knitter4democracy]

2. I'm not sure why.

Looking around my town, I think a lot of people are just barely surviving. Granted, Michigan's economy's tanked and getting worse by the day. But many are dealing with major health problems, working too darn many hours, and are just barely making it themselves. I think that's why they're not active in changing things for their neighbors and sisters and brothers. I know that I had all sorts of hopes when we moved here to get involved only to need two major surgeries in a year that I'm still recovering from. As I get more energy, the more I can do. Still, it's hard to make meetings and write lttes and agitate for change if you're barely surviving.

It doesn't bode well for our future, though. That's for sure. :(

[bobbolink]

4. Yes, there are people with limited time. BUT... there are so many people ONLY focusing on war,

or environment, etc., and haven't a thought left to spare for those of us on the bottom.

We just don't count.

And it's not because we're all drunks, contrary to the BS one DUer wants to promote... it's because people have hardened their hearts and chosen to follow the Raygun BS!

[knitter4democracy]

5. You're right.

I hate the drunks thing. Grrr! For crying out loud, I wish that person would get hit with a clue-by-four.

Focusing on the environment without first working for justice for the poor makes little sense from a population-base point of view. There are far more poor than there are people in any other class, so let's take care of them in an environmentally safe manner, and the rest will fall in line. Safe and healthy housing, living wage jobs, and healthy food available to all make sense to me.

[bobbolink]

7. "If you want peace, work for justice"

That USED to be widely accepted by the peace people, but now... they "don't have time".

I'm listening to "Street Lawyer" by oh crap.... famous author, name escapes now.

He's talking about homeless people in D.C., and says so much would be accomplished by having LAWYERS go after the crap. Yet, ..... they don't seem to care much, either.

He also talks about how it was a peace group in the 70's who started the big homeless issue, and took over buildings for shelters!

Too bad peace people have become yuppiefied, and can't be bothered now.


:cry:

[knitter4democracy]

9. I've often thought that we need a national justice plan, like a national health plan.

Lawyers would seriously help soooo many people, but their fees are out of the reach of too many. I know that the law school my best friend went to had free clinic hours for anyone who needed a lawyer, and she put in a lot of time there. She said that Michigan requires a lot of pro bono work from anyone admitted to the bar here but that it's still not enough to meet the need.

Our local peace group's involved with the local justice group. I think I'll look them up and see what they're doing.

[bobbolink]

10. Great idea! I wish someone could help me here! It's down to the only thing that will save me now

is a strong and committed lawyer.

I'm in the midst of what so many homeless people deal with, and it is truly unbelievable.

They have finally won.

[knitter4democracy]

11. Local law school?

That's all I can think of. I know that the residency clinic where Hubby trained is one of the only practices in the area that accepts Medicaid and all the crappy insurances. It was the busiest place in town, but we got excellent care there. Hubby was always slammed. It sounds like my friend's law school clinic was a similar kind of thing. Maybe you could get something there?

[bobbolink]

12. No law school close by, and if I remember correctly, they handle a very narrow range of cases.

There is a HUGE need here, because I've become convinced that the law is really the only way to change some of these societal issues!

Either that, or a reincarnation of Martin Luther King!

I'm thinking this is something that could be given impetus over the internet.

what thinkest thou?

[knitter4democracy]

13. Good idea.

Like a legal foundation that fundraises the money for lawyers so they can eat, too, and coordinates legal campaigns across the country. I like it!

[bobbolink]

14. there ya go!

I liked what you said about national legal care, as health care, and hadn't even thought of that before. Really, the bill of rights depends on legal access in order to have those rights! Cops take away the rights of homeless people all the time, because THEY KNOW THEY CAN!

How could we get a legal foundation started? I know there is southern Law, etc., and ACLU, but those don't meet the needs.

I've been reading about Mitch Snyder, and it really seems like the legal route is the way to go!

Starting with a class action suit against abusive low-income owners and managers!

Wow.. this is really intriguing to me.... any hope of actually doing something like this?

[knitter4democracy]

15. There has to be a way.

There's that group doing free work for those on death row. Yes, those cases are super important, but what about the smaller stuff that's really needed? I know we have Legal Aid, but that's not fully funded in most areas and won't touch certain problems. I guess we could start there--fight to get Legal Aid more money, more lawyers, and an expanded mission to include everything.

[undergroundpanther]

6. I found the only way to stop bullying

Is to make bullying too costly, personally for the bully to DO it.

As in a bully starts shit, every bystander jump in and beat the living shit out of the bully. Make it hurt,too.

Verbal bullies online?
I see that pattern, I just tear them apart(within the rules of course)humiliate, insinuate, go for the soft spots and once a bully appears I DO NOT become emotionally attached to the thread at all. I will Ignore what others say about my tactics or their pity for the bully, because it shows me they have NO CLUE they are dealing with a toxic personality,, Just keep on the bullies ass showing the truth,when it gets real bad just repeat your piece.


I don't respond to the bully like he matters because bullies do not matter to me.I don't care about how they feel or if they don't like my additude..They do not deserve my pity,my consideration of their opinions or my time to respond to them like I would a non bully person...I will respond to genuine people's questions in public,on a bully hijacked thread however. But If a response to you is rude directly or indirectly in the first paragraph always ignore it. In any discussion a bully pollutes it with snarky shit,pompous opinionating,calling the posters they don't like crazy, stupid or any variance on that theme.Know they will try to de-legitimize posters that speak truth to power, first.

That is why they target the sensitive and insightful and people who are traumatized or in the situation being discussed. The bullies who cannot stand hearing what certain people have to say will try to get the group to see the bully as something the bully is not(a caring person or"tough love" helper).
Whenever a bully gets in on a thread the aim is to dominate the most insightful,the most sensitive and the caring thinkers. If he cannot dominate them he will interfere with the conversation and try to build himself a consensus posse and take over,the thread.

remember that. It's all a power trip and Ego game to them. Look for the bigoted responses, look for the intellectual bigotry posing as legit questions, look for the snark that is apologized for as if it was only meant as a joke. Look for backpedaling and rationalizing after an insult.ALL people choose their words in a post or in real life for a reason.Sometimes the reason is not to be an addition, but to hurt the most sensitized, insightful or bold thinkers in a thread,deliberately to control a thread and stop the discussion the bully does not like.

Bullies get a charge out of doing that to people.

Bullies don't give a shit about issues or improving life for us all. They don't want to help anyone.
They just want to dominate and abuse people in any way they can get away with it.

So to keep a thread focused you must make it unable for a bully to stay on a thread,make him feel unwelcome, make him show his ass in public, make it too hard for the bully to build a posse and he will go away, or implode with a stench, because no one is playing his GAME..Remember to emotionally detach once the bully pattern begins, and write with no fear or regrets. Give no more emotional attachment to a discussion, until the bully exits. Because no talk on tough issues will be fruitful as long as a bully is there doing shit. Just keep on showing that bullies are a problem publicly until he exposes his disgusting self himself.And remember always bullies cannot fake being decent forever they gotta take off the mask eventually to breathe..that's when you ever so subtly stick the knife in and twist it hard.And tell the bully to fuck off as hard as he can.



As for verbal abusers in real life warn them once to stop as you move yourself to a place where others see this shit going down, if they threaten you just hold back, then once they touch you, than you are in the clear legally..than go berserk and kick the fuckers ass as hard as you can. Leave him bleeding, humiliated and broken on the street.


Thirdly always go for where it hurts the worst. It might take observation to find it but persevere be it verbal or physical. Observe. Detach yourself emotionally, Never lower your eyes,Make it too costly for the bully to even THINK about stirring shit wherever you are.

I hate bullies and I love eviscerating bully pieces of shit.
I love tearing them apart. I have a sadistic side, so I let it out on those who truly deserve it. Bullies,Authoritarians narcissists and psychopaths.

Once you are educated on toxic personalities, learn the patterns of how they operate ,see the patterns around you it's pretty clear what they are and what it will take to take them down so painfully they won't dare do it again..I think every DU mod needs an education in abusive personalities and the power to ruthlessly silence them.


Bullies require us to put limits and boundaries on them because internally they have none.

http://www.cix.co.uk/~klockstone/spath.htm


These pathetic shit heads are nothing and have nothing to offer to anyone that is good or productive and they are everywhere and they all need to be beaten into submission.(Learn & use the language of domination on them and it's ONLY for bullies only BTW, for these words are INTENDED to hurt.) Inflicting intentional harm on a bully may be nesessary to get them to stop hurting others.That's reality. Bullies do not respond to non violent language like regular people do.They see it as permission to inflict more harm!!
http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/discouragement/words.html

You can also take take bullies insults and twist it into something harmless to yourself, or say something challenging yet totally takes thier barb and renders it pointless like: "So yeah I'm crazy, I want to collect all the DSM labels,I'm almost there.. Ok I have been there done that what is your point? I don't see you have one do you?"

Bullies need to feel so limited around others they know they can't get away with abuse,anywhere anymore.Than only than will it stop.. And deep down they know that limits, boundaries and a community intolerant of them will be the end of their game .

I just remind them of that fact in front of others,that's what they HATE. Because the others get a lesson in what a bully really is.If others are educated the toxic ass has no way to build a posse and hijack a conversation online or attempt in real life like abuse others rape people or anything bad they want to do that hurts others they want to get away with doing..They will be contained if bystanders are educated and overcome their own anxiety and help a targeted person fight.

[bobbolink]

8. You have a book in you! Really, I think you are the authority on this, and DU is lucky to have you

The problem is what you said early on.... surround the bully with people unwilling to put up with it. Do you see that much spine on DU? I have only rarely. Mostly people just tolerate it and go on, leaving, as you say, the more sensitive people to suffer. Yet, they will endlessly question the spine of the Dems in congress, and accuse them of "whimping out". Takes one to know one, I guess.....

I see few people who want to be "educated"... they just want to fit in, and be accepted, so they play the game, too.

Maybe we could have an online course in bullying and how to stop it?

Thanks, undergroundpanther.... you have really become an authority on this!

:hug:

[caseycoon]

16. WONDERFUL POST!

I have been just leaving the posts that dissolve into flame fests & going on to something more sensible. (usually muttering cuss words at the nastiness) This doesn't help whoever is getting beat up by the creeps, though. Yes, I've been one of the 'don't get involved' creeps. It would be good to learn a way to handle these slime balls instead of running away. I didn't realize what I've been doing until I read this. Thanks for hitting me on the head! LOL!