People asking for money

[undeterred]

Every time I am out it seems like I run into people asking for money. Yesterday I was at the gas station cringing as I was buying $30 worth of gas at $3.25 a gallon and there was a young teen asking me for bus money to get back to Milwaukee. He needed $11.25 and I gave him $2 but he kept asking for more and then he was going up to the other customers.

Today there were two men knocking on my front door asking if they could shovel the snow for money. And I said no, the man upstairs does it when he comes home. So they wanted to know if I knew anyone who would pay them to do it because they needed money for food and gas. I got the idea that they were living in a car. They didn't have a snow shovel or anything.

So thin is the line I feel between myself and them. I made rent and kept my car this month but I do not have a job right now. I have good skills- but this economy is so fragile... there are lots of people with skills who end up living in cars and then with nothing at all.

Every day I get invitations to political fundraising events where I can be a "friend" for $1000 or a "not so good friend" for $100. No wonder the poor are forgotten. They don't even register unless they get in the way.

[Nitrogenica]

1. I gave ten bucks to the Obama campaign today.

And I saw him at the Target Center in Minneapolis for free.

[undeterred]

2. I believe in giving small contributions

I am an activist and I give fundraisers but I never list a suggested contribution. Some people will give $1 and some will give $100. No one is less important. I ignored my own State Senators appeals for money until he finally put a $25 box on the form. But the big events I feel a little strange when they actually have a person at the door who screens you out.

[bobbolink]

26. Please do me a favor.

"But the big events I feel a little strange when they actually have a person at the door who screens you out."

Please do me a favor and speak up for people like me when this happens, then turn and leave.

That's the ONLY way people like me will "count" and be heard, is when we have the support of people like you.

Thank you.

[rzemanfl]

3. My wife just got home. She paid $45.00 for a motel room for a

homeless young woman who has been sleeping on the beach down here. The girl's story is that her bike had been hit by a car, she refused treatment at the hospital the police took her to and the hospital made her leave. She showed up at my wife's place of work looking for help. I don't know how much of the story I believe, but it was obvious to my wife that this woman hadn't bathed or changed clothes in quite a while. She had a couple of bags of belongings and a beat up bike. She told my wife she'd been homeless for a couple of months. You don't get much of a room in Florida Easter weekend for $45.00 but at least she has a place to sleep and take a shower. It sounds to me like the young lady has some mental health issues.

[undeterred]

4. Thats sad

We had half a foot of snow last night in Wisconsin and the shelters close next weekend. $45 is about the least you can get a hotel room for a night around here too. But there is nowhere for some people to go.

[rzemanfl]

6. What part of Wisconsin? I lived in Manitowoc before I moved

to Florida. My daughter lives in Madison and my wife's son is in Manitowoc.

[undeterred]

8. I'm in Madison

We're getting a lot of homeless here.

[rzemanfl]

9. Snow too. n/t

[wellstone dem]

7. Tell her thank you

the world is a little bit better because of what she said. And up here in a ND hotel room on a trip to see my daughter, I feel a little warmer knowing this young woman got shelter.

[bobbolink]

27. You know her how well? Have you experienced being in her situation?

PLEASE, "liberals", get off this thing of labeling all of us homeless people as "having mental health issues."

It's getting to resemble Frist, but at least he was actually a doctor.

[Two Americas]

31. who wouldn't?

Who wouldn't have "mental health issues" from being down and out?

What about the "mental health issues" of those of us who are not down and out and are having such a difficult time connecting to and empathizing with our fellow human beings, and are so stubbornly refusing to see these as social problems that require political solutions and as a catastrophe that affects us all, rather than seeing individual victims as the problem that needs to be fixed?

[wellstone dem]

5. I will never forget the Sunday I got to church late

I rushed in and services had already started, so I walked by the man standing in the entry way who looked a bit shabby and thought as I rushed by, "he looks like someone in need." I found a seat in the back on a bench at the side and as the congregation sat down for the sermon, the man who had been waiting walked in and yelled "Hey" the priest replied, "Excuse me" and the man said, "I was naked and no one gave me clothes. I was hungry and no one gave me food. I was in prison and no one visted me." It turned out that the man was a college student who hadn't shaved for a couple of days and who had rumpled his clothes at the request of the priest. And the rest of the sermon was the man talking about his experience standing outside the church asking for money for breakfast.

Many people from this left of center congregation looked uncomfortable as he talked about people replying "I put my money in the collection plate." or "the Salvation has free lunches" (at that time the lunches were only on week days) or simply walking away and avoiding his gaze. He said that only one person treated him like a member of the congregation, and that was a little girl about 8 who said, "Hi, how are you?"

I felt ok because I hadn't been there at that time, but then I realized that I had walked by someone who looked like they were in need, in church!

This man talked about thinking to himself, "these people think they are Christians--at least a homeless person is honest about who they are."

Since then I have rarely walked past someone who asked for help. On occasion it has not felt safe, and then when I get home I write a check to a homeless shelter or a food shelf. Other times, if I'm concerned the money requested for a meal will not be used for that, I walk the person to a restaurant and give the clerk $10 or whatever is appropriate to cover what the person wants. (I learned to do this from observing a college aged woman and an older man in a thai restaurant many years ago). Most times those, I try not to judge and I just give money--green if I have it.

[undeterred]

10. I'll bet nobody ever forgot that Scripture again.

O8)

[mamre11]

11. I am very impressed

I have just recently started blogging and reading forums.... i really appreciate the fact that the issue of poverty and the homeless is discussed and that many people are saying they care and actually respond. All I hear from the right side of the aisle is we need to stop spending so much on social programs. But I am sure they are individuals who would walk by that man in church or on the street. If anything we need more money for social programs, shelters, food programs etc. Perhaps some of the war budget could go to the homeless? I commonly hear that individuals don't deserve handouts because they might not use it for the right reason. But as you said, who are we to judge. Perhaps this will be the day that they find the job, or quit the drugs, or make a friend etc.

[undeterred]

12. I think that when people are being judgmental

they never think that they could be in that situation themselves. But look at what is happening right now with credit card companies doubling their rates, foreclosures, job layoffs, gas prices and food prices going up... if one person in the household loses their job they might be in trouble. And when times are tough, places that depend on donations are not going to be getting as much.

[Two Americas]

34. hi mamre11

Welcome to DU and thanks for weighing in on the topic.

[bobbolink]

43. Welcome to DU, and the poverty forum, mamre11!!!

:bounce: :toast: :bounce:

Please understand, though... it isn't the RW that is our "worst enemy"... it is the "liberals" and "progressives" who use us when they want votes... when they want to sound "compassionate". YET, they don't do what it takes to make life any better for us. And that's the politicians.

As for individuals, there are many "progressives" who have taken on the conservative "blame the victim" stance.

AND, taking action? Just watch here at DU.. when any of us request action on a pending bill, etc., it sinks like a rock.

:cry:

[shireen]

14. amazing story ....

What a powerful lesson those people learned that day.

I used to not donate to pan-handlers because I bought into the myth that they were lazy, that they were getting lots of contributions from others, or they should just go get a job. But as I've grown older and become more aware of the injustices in our society, I've come to give them the benefit of the doubt. If someone wants money for food, cab fare, or just pan-handling by the street, I give. No questions asked. It's not worth the risk, assuming the worst, when they could be genuinely in need of help.

I hate the years of Republican rule we've had. They've fostered a culture of greed and selfishness. Now, as more people fall into financial troubles and start feeling a little of that pain, I can only hope that they develop more empathy for those poverty, and realize that no one deserves to live that way.

[bobbolink]

28. Pleeez, kiss that priest for me, will ya?!

This is the most exceptional story I"ve heard in many an age. This is EXACTLY what needs to be happening in churches!

THANK you for posting this, THANK YOU to the priest, and THANK YOu to the college student!

:applause: :hug: :applause:

[Aedes]

13. This needs to be read.

First, I think it's ridiculous that a teenager would travel so far and not know that he needs to get back to where he came from. Yes, they are able to go up to people and ask for money but at the same time they will not take jobs that belittle them. There are countless jobs that people can get if only they go out looking for them. If one really needs the money there are plenty of ways to get back on your feet. That thin line is pretty thick to me. You have a place to live and they probably gave that up for something else.
There are non-profits and even places where one can seek shelter. You just need to look for them. Those fund raising events really don't account for what's going on with the hands-on. Usually they have those to attract the "big" people. What I do is I usually trash those. Why would I give money when I need some for myself. What I do is usually go to homeless shelters or places like that and help out once in a while. That way i know where my help is going. It's funny how once you donate the money you never see it again until that next letter comes.

[shireen]

15. what planet do you live on?

This has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever read on DU.

Unless you're a psychic mind-reader, you should not be making such assumptions about people in poverty. Really, this is a seriously ignorant attitude you've got.

[Aedes]

18. Really thats funny...

See the thing is that people can really do something in this country. I know that it sounds ignorant but it really isn't. Thousands of people come to this country everyday in order to make a decent living. These people come from places that really don't have anything at all. It's sad to hear that you say that I'm ignorant. Actually, I think I'm rather informed on the whole matter. I don't know why you feel that you think that I should pity these people. No, that is definitely not what I think is necessary. Rather than just giving them money, if you really want to help people give them something that they can really use. If you don't give them money it's not like other people won't help them. I don't feel bad because you know what these people aren't stupid they're not innocent people that are hurt by the economy. They are people who want jobs but don't go to places that need people to work. Let me ask have you ever been in the position where you had to give up everything for these and not leave a thing for yourself? I don't think that you would be able to do that. I wouldn't. Giving people money for not doing anything just let's them know that it's alright to just ask keep asking people for money. It works for them so they just keep on doing it. These people complain and trust me I've heard the complaints first-hand. There is a difference that these people can make. If you can't take the time to really help them, giving them a trivial amount of money isn't going to help. I've been on dozens of reliefs and help organizations so I think that I can say what I say. And why can't I make assumptions? Isn't that what I am allowed? Don't you make assumptions that people who beg are always hopeless? Aren't you making assumptions about me as well? How do you know that that poverty hasn't struck me? By the way, I don't believe in psychics. I would like to say more but yeah.

[shireen]

21. you don't know

anything about the life experiences of the people at DU. Or their efforts in supporting their communities. So don't you go making assumptions about us!

Your comments are arrogant and misinformed. Welcome to my "ignore" list.

[wellstone dem]

16. Just needed to say again, "when I was hungry.....

One Sunday some 20 years ago

I rushed in and services had already started, so I walked by the man standing in the entry way who looked a bit shabby and thought as I rushed by, "he looks like someone in need." I found a seat in the back on a bench at the side and as the congregation sat down for the sermon, the man who had been waiting walked in and yelled "Hey" the priest replied, "Excuse me" and the man said, "I was naked and no one gave me clothes. I was hungry and no one gave me food. I was in prison and no one visted me." It turned out that the man was a college student who hadn't shaved for a couple of days and who had rumpled his clothes at the request of the priest. And the rest of the sermon was the man talking about his experience standing outside the church asking for money for breakfast.

Many people from this left of center congregation looked uncomfortable as he talked about people replying "I put my money in the collection plate." or "the Salvation has free lunches" (at that time the lunches were only on week days) or simply walking away and avoiding his gaze. He said that only one person treated him like a member of the congregation, and that was a little girl about 8 who said, "Hi, how are you?"

I felt ok because I hadn't been there at that time, but then I realized that I had walked by someone who looked like they were in need, in church!

This man talked about thinking to himself, "these people think they are Christians--at least a homeless person is honest about who they are."

Since then I have rarely walked past someone who asked for help. On occasion it has not felt safe, and then when I get home I write a check to a homeless shelter or a food shelf. Other times, if I'm concerned the money requested for a meal will not be used for that, I walk the person to a restaurant and give the clerk $10 or whatever is appropriate to cover what the person wants. (I learned to do this from observing a college aged woman and an older man in a thai restaurant many years ago). Most times though, I try not to judge and I just give money--green if I have it.

[Aedes]

20. You say you try not to judge and just give...

But really I don't know what you're saying. So, in order to just make yourself feel better you just go home or a restaurant give to someone and leave it at that? That's what I'm getting from your conclusion.

I think that you also get the assumption that church is a holy place. That's not true. Church is a gathering of people that choose to accept God. It's unfortunate that the church that you belong to is in that kind of state. I would just simply say no to the college guy. Why lie? Isn't it a "holy place"? Your friend's observation is not uncommon in churches. It's in my church as well. but all you can do is just be yourself and not force it out because you don't feel good. If you're a Christian, then just rely on changing not on just giving because of guilt. That's not what God would do. Usually whenever i see someone homeless i take the time and talk to them and see what's going on. I don't do it all the time but i do it often enough so that when i see that person again I know who he or she is. And what do you mean by "not feeling safe". I don't get that one either.

[bobbolink]

29. It's attitudes like yours that has made poverty in the US, the richest country in the world,

worse than the poverty of other industrialized nation.

I hope you're proud of what you've accomplished.

[bobbolink]

35. Thanks for posting this! Would that ALL churches would wake people up this way!

This is beautiful, and should be replicated all over.

Thank you for adding a wonderful and important aspect.

:yourock:

[undeterred]

17. When you give to others out of what you have

you are giving to Christ. Its a spiritual truth.

[Aedes]

19. Yes, I am christian too.

But didn't God also say that one should have some agape love for those who need? (Proverbs 28:19) God taught those who need how to cope with those problems of life back then. He gave those to the helpless who did not have any. He did not say life should be easy as a follower. I mean really people think that once you know God things will get so much better in your life. No that's not always the case. Choosing God means leading a very narrow path.
And do you pity Christ? I don't think so. I don't think you're giving to Christ. You're probably just giving it to that person because he's poor. If you were really giving to Christ then i think that one would try to give all he has. Isn't that what it's all about giving ALL your ALL. Can you let a homeless person in you house? No, probably not. See people who say that everyone should give are afraid to give up everything they have. If you're giving money why not just give your credit card as well so then that person can really get "help".

There was a documentary, "Reversal of Fortune". You should watch it. I think it was given a showing on the Oprah show.
You'll probably get a real perspective of what kind of possibility is present once you give money.

Let me ask, if a man came up to you in a suit and asked you for some money: Would you give him some? Probably not. We judge based on how society perceives the poor and the rich. Get out of that hole and really think on how GOD will help this person. Would He really give this person money or would he feed and help this person in other ways that can help him later on in life? (Romans 12:2)
God loves us all unconditionally. It doesn't matter whether you're poor or rich.
He did not ask us to lift ourselves to another. He told us to rely on him. When we give to random people and never see them again we're letting them rely on us. Are you okay with giving your money out to homeless persons everyday. Let's say you give about $1 per day. you could use that dollar in a more humble way and take it to a shelter or something and really see how that dollar goes to work. Did you know that a dollar can feed one person for a whole day? There are things like what i just mentioned that can really help.

Everything is God's so essentially we're giving Him back things that He already has. Money is not the only solution. You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. (Psalm 34:5,6)

[undeterred]

23. have mercy on the poor and don't judge them

or you've missed the forest for the trees

edited to add: its not about what it does for the recipient, its about what it does for the giver...when you give god all that you have then you truly belong to him/her

[Lydia Leftcoast]

33. When I volunteered in Mississippi after Katrina, the priest in charge of

the relief center told us, "You can either serve people or judge them. You don't know their circumstances." He told us about a woman who went into the food tent and took ten cans of tuna. It turned out that she was sheltering fifteen relatives in her house. He went on to say that it was okay if she had been taking the tuna to sell, because maybe that was her only source of cash. It was even okay if she was taking it to hoard it, because maybe she was so traumatized by the storm that she didn't feel safe without a large stockpile of food. But it wasn't for us to judge.

That's one of the experiences that changed my whole attitude towards the poor. Another was commiserating with friends slightly older than I who ran through their life savings because no one would hire them full time after they lost their long-term jobs. They went on food stamps but still had good clothes left over from their professional days, and people in the grocery lines would make snide remarks about "freeloaders" who obviously didn't need food stamps because they had nice clothes. But I knew how many jobs they had applied for and how many hopeful interviews they'd gone on, and I knew which financial resource they were tapping next: savings accounts, sale of house, 401(k), relatives, finally becoming old enough to go on Social Security. This happened to three people I know.

[shireen]

22. Christ spoke a universal language of decency and compassion

I'm not a Christian but I agree with those values and practice them the best I can.

[fight4my3sons]

24. When is the last time you had to spend a night in a shelter?

Or had to ask for food?

No, it is not as easy as you make it out to be. You obviously have never been in the situation that you write about. You "once in a while help out" I find that hard to believe with your condescending attitude.

[bobbolink]

30. Actually, I can well believe it.

If you've ever been in a shelter, you will know that there are many "volunteers" with this kind of superior attitude.

yes, they do much damage.

:cry:

[Two Americas]

32. struggling to understand you

I have read through your posts - welcome to DU, by the way - but I can't make out what you are trying to say.

Out of curiousity, why did this particular subject happen to inspire you to join and post on this thread?

[Naturyl]

36. I hope you never have to be on the other side

Of your own words...

Let's see how you feel about full-grown adults scrubbing toilets at McDonald's when it's YOU that's doing it. $20 says it's less than a week until you're scouring the phone book for some kind of government assistance to help you get out of that situation.

Belittlement for thee, but not for me...

[bobbolink]

37. Excellent words, Naturyl. I'm very glad you're here.

More heart here is very good.

:yourock:

[bobbolink]

25. And those of us who "get in the way" get bulldozed.

By the party, too.

[undeterred]

38. So today I was driving home from the food pantry

and at the side of the road were a young man and woman with cardboard signs that said "down on our luck" and "please help". I grabbed the bag trail mix out of my box of stuff ($10 fancy trail mix) and handed it to them.

What's going to happen to us?

[TexasBushwhacker]

39. Well, I'm going to simplify, simplify, simplify

That's not to say that I'm living the high life right now, but I'm single, so I figure that if I can live even more frugally than I do already, then I'll be able to help more when things get worse. This may sound wacky, but I'm working on getting as healthy as possible, because I can't help people if I'm dead. I'm 51 and don't have any big health problems YET, but I'm fat and sedentary, so I figure if I work at getting as healthy as possible, then I have another 20 or 30 good years to do good work. I do what I can now, but I'd like to do more, and that means staying above ground and healthy longer. I don't require a lot of material things. As long as I'm living in a place that I feel safe, I'm cool.

[maryf]

41. I count twenty "I's"

and one phrase "I can't help people if I'm dead", not a slam, just wondering how you plan to help people from your "safe" place? Try replacing an "I" or two with a "we" in your paragraph. Simplifying is a great path, its even greater if we can join resources and simplify; two brains together are far greater than one brain separated from another, we need to work this out together! Peace, Mary

[TexasBushwhacker]

42. We means nothing without "I" s

How often have you heard someone say "We should do something about this" and then that individual does nothing. If a person does not make a personal commitment to do something about a problem, and then acts on that commitment, then nothing happens. Yes, the collective "we" is more powerful, but only if all members of that "we" do something!

I agree, combining resources is an excellent way of simplifying and I do that with others, however, I can only make commitments for myself. People working together are still making personal commitments as individuals.

[maryf]

40. Thanks for reaching out and for the "us"

and not "whats going to happen to "me", if we don't figure out a way to help each other stay afloat, we will all sink.