Don't Know If This Is THE Place To Post This, But I Need Some Information...

[ChiciB1]

My husband's ex-wife who I've remained close friends with told me recently that she can't pay her credit card bills. I DIDN'T ask her how much she owed, and she didn't offer. Recently, I took a friend to our hospital so she could have an endoscopy and while I was waiting there was a newsletter there that I started reading.

In the paper I saw an advertisement from a a place called DCSD (Debt Counsel for Seniors & the Disabled) so I told her about it. She called them up and they sent out a packet of papers to sign, a "contract" with them that states she will have to change her bank account, they will provide her a lawyer for $20.00 a month, and she will have to give them all her credit cards! She came over about an hour ago and wanted me to look over the packet, so I did. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER!!

It shows they are listed with bbb.org, but it's seems like basically a bankruptcy contract. And they don't specify how long she will have to pay $20.00 a month, but there is an up front fee of $200.00 for the lawyer to represent her. From what I have gathered, she won't owe anymore money to the companies, but she won't be allowed to have any credit cards either. Which if probably a smart thing. She doesn't have a very good education, and even if I do I'm not sure what this is all about.

Does anyone know ANYTHING about DCSD and what should I say to her. I KNOW she's embarrassed because she hasn't told me the amount and apparently it's gotten to a level where she felt a need to seek my help. This is "touchy" stuff for me because I don't want to be in this driver's seat!

I just gave her $200.00 so she could make it til the end of the month. She didn't ask for it but I did ask her if it would help. Now, I'm not rich but I have saved some money... still I'm not in the business of paying off other people's debt! I have been known to lend money when I shouldn't have and have learned a VERY GOOD LESSON! Not small amounts like $200.00 either!

Anyway, can ANYONE help me with this thing? I don't know what to tell her. I don't think I would sign it myself, but I have options... she doesn't!!!

Also, she doesn't own a home or anything else, just is paying payments on a car! She's on SS and I'm wondering if the credit card companies can take money from her. Hey, my suggestion to her was to tell them to "kiss off" because she said they raised her interest rate to a very high rate! But, I don't know what they do if you just don't pay!!

Thanks in advance, if ANYONE can help me!

[DesertFlower]

1. i have a family member who had $20,000

in credit card debt. she was paying the minimum, but then they raised her interest rates. she could no longer make the payments. with penalties and interest it ballooned to $32,000. she contacted some of these debt consolidation places, but basically you're paying something to them every month too.

to make a long story short, the companies started contacting her to make deals. of course, when they write off 1/2 to 2/3 of the debt you have to pay the whole thing at once. there are no monthly payments. i gave her $7,000 to pay 3 of them. so except for discover who is letting her pay $70 a month, she's out of debt.

hope this helps you.

[snagglepuss]

2. I have read about suspicious Credit Counselling Companies so proceed with

caution! I don't put to much stock and BBB rating. I think its best check the yellow pages for non-profit credit counselling and then googel, google, google every profit and non pro-profit company you find.

[bkkyosemite]

3. Tell her to call a bankruptcy lawyer and get advice from them before signing this thing. I wouldn't

sign it.

[wryter2000]

8. Good idea!

A consultation wouldn't cost her much. An attorney saw us for free one time. She told us to get the papers for bankruptcy and do it ourself because we didn't need her.

I insisted on paying her, anyway. It cost $75. That was many years ago, though.

[Warpy]

4. Be very very careful about this

It is a legitimate organization and has an A+ rating from the BBB, but it's only been around since March, 2009.

At their best, they can work with her to get those rates reduced so she can reasonably be expected to pay her debt.

The only way she should turn those cards over to them is in little pieces, though. She needs to verify that they will destroy those cards on the spot, in front of her.

Whether these people are worth the money is anybody's guess. They might be worth it in the long run if they get her interest rate reduced and run interference for her so she doesn't get dunning phone calls every 10 minutes at home and at work. Yes, that's illegal, but the boiler rooms that do it are often offshore.

She will still owe the full amount. She won't be able to get another credit card until her debt is discharged.

If she tries to cadge any more money out of you and you feel willing to lend it, be sure to get it in writing. As it is, I think you can probably kiss that $200 goodbye.

[ChiciB1]

14. Oh, I Know The $200.00 Is Gone... But I'm Glad Someone Else Has Heard Of Them!

They do state that she will NOT get any more calls and if she does, she's supposed to report it to them. There IS a phone number for that! But they are saying she won't have to pay the cards back!

THAT doesn't seem possible to me! Maybe that's where the $20.00 a month comes in... I don't know!

I will check them out online, just was wondering if anyone else knew about them! March of 2009 isn't very long to be in business either!

[Warpy]

17. I looked them up at the BBB

I hadn't heard of that outfit, specifically, but I do know what the best of them can do for people who are in trouble but who don't want to declare bankruptcy.

My advice about the credit cards stands.

[ChiciB1]

19. Thanks Again... But It Looks To Me That What "They" Are Doing With

this program is very, very similar to bankruptcy! I've been reading over it and it makes references to being like one. The specifics sound like what a bankruptcy would be like. I also don't know that much about bankruptcies, but I think this program is ONLY for credit card debt.

That's what I'm getting from my reading! I hate all those inside paragraphs that sort of look like "fine print!" This COULD be just one of those companies that has gotten on the bandwagon for "striking while the iron's hot" since so many people are in trouble! AND the credit card companies are taking FULL advantage of people who can't pay!

I have a LONG story about them too! I had a WaMu card at 6.5% interest, then one day out of the blue they told me they were raising to 10.24%, just like that! While I didn't always pay them off each month, I kept my balance low! Since my interest with WaMu was 6.5% I didn't go with my credit union because their's was 8.5%! I fixed that real quick! My Visa is now through the credit union. I just like to keep one card for things like airline tickets etc. The day I got my new cards... Chase who took over WaMu sent another letter saying they were raising the rate to 17.24%! Thankfully, I didn't owe them anything!

Here's the kicker... I called them sort of outraged and ask why they would do that to a GOOD customer, and they blatantly told me that it was because so many other's don't pay their cards!! I'm sorry, but making it more DIFFICULT for those who have a hard time to pay, and then screwing those who DO pay, seems so very backward to me!

However, I'm NOT excusing my sister-in-law... she made the debt and did so unwisely, had I known sooner it may not have gotten this bad! I suppose eventually I find out the real amount she owes, but as yet I don't know!

Sorry for my tirade... but I have TWO other friends who are in serious trouble too and I'm really frustrated by all this. I'm just glad I worked with companies that loaned money for a while and found out early what "not to do" if possible!

But there are some situations where people are FORCED into debt by lack of health care or other serious sitautions, and they too are getting squeezed! That's heartbreaking and WRONG!!

I'll shut up now!

[Warpy]

21. A rate of 18% on an unsecured consumer debt was

about right, historically. It was a high risk loan with little or no collateral to back it up and that justified the interest rate.

A 10.5% rate is still a huge bargain.

The problem with people in trouble is that the rates have been raised to a maximum of 39%, forcing those people into bankruptcy.

That's where these companies come in. They have sufficient clout to get the rates reduced, especially when they have a client with the means and intent to pay the cards off at a more reasonable rate. Since most people in real trouble still qualify for the old bankruptcy statutes, that is a great bargaining point with them.

The good programs are quite strict about what their clients can and can't do, that's true. However, the whole process helps people avoid a bankruptcy followed by 10 years of being unable to qualify for any type of loan or even renting apartments. Successfully completing a repayment program and becoming debt free is not a mark against your credit.

Some people are savvy enough to bargain the credit card rates down on their own and set up a payment program on a closed account themselves, but most people who are in serious trouble are so because they're not that savvy.

[juno jones]

5. To be honest, she might be better off declaring bankruptcy.

If she has no real assests like you said, chapter 7 isn't too traumatizing. $1200-$1500 and it's all over.

But you have cut the credit cards up yourself and resolve to throw every offer that comes in away.

She should at least shop around. My bankruptcy lawyer gave a free consultation and provided me with lots of information about debt consolodation, credit counseling, etc.

She should not just jump into this.

[ChiciB1]

9. Clarification... It's My Husband's Brother's Ex-Wife... My Husband Doesn't Have

an EX! Don't know WHY I had to add that, but I did! So from what I'm reading this looks almost exactly like bankruptcy, but the initial cost is only $200.00 and THAT $20.00 a month thing, and I don't know how long that will last! Another problem I'm having is that they are requesting a P.O.A (Power of Attorney) and I don't want to be THAT either.

I CAN'T answer some of the questions because I'm Not Her, and THEY won't clarify much for me even though I told them she doesn't understand stuff like this very easily.

Ya know, I think I'm going to advise her to do the bankruptcy thing because she's only digging herself deeper (I think) but I'm not sure! Having known her for so long, I KNOW she didn't even want to tell me about this. How she got herself in this mess I don't know. She lives alone and it's her daughter's house so her mortgage payment can't be over $400.00 a month. It's an old house. Obviously she doesn't want to tell either of her children, and they aren't that young, but they don't have a lot of money either!

She would give me her right arm if I needed it, but all I can do right now is advise her. Besides, my husband WON'T let me give her a lot of money! You know, the brother thing!

I thank you for your input, but this thing looks "hinky" to me! It was advertised as something that would really help, but I'm thinking no.

[DesertFlower]

12. Clarification. my family member

is my granddaughter. she wanted to pay me back -- to put something in writing and have it notarized. i told her that i didn't want the money back, but she had to promise that she would never get herself in a mess like that again. she's gonna get the money when we're gone -- so why not help her out now.

[ChiciB1]

15. Yeah, Well My Kids Will Be Getting My Money When I'm Gone... I Haven't

made any provision for an ex-sister-in-law no matter how much I like her!

[DesertFlower]

16. my granddaughter is the only

family member we've made provisions for. the bulk of our estate goes to animal charities.

BTW. she's my granddaughter from a son i had from a previous marriage. my husband who i've been married to for 39 years is great. when i asked him about giving her the money he was fully supportive.

good luck to you and your sister in law.

[ChiciB1]

18. Well, I Don't Have All That Much... Our Home We Live In, Five Acres Of Land We Bought As

an investment & eventually 1/2 of my mother-in-law's place. Which BTW we are having to pay the bills on right now. She has Alzheimer's and even though my husband retired early and she lived with us for almost 10 years, her illness got so severe she "had" to be put in a Nursing Home! The Social Worker told us that we could no longer care for her because she had deteriorated too much. She's basically "just a body" now.

Her place can't be sold until she passes away (in her will) and then it will be divided between my husband and his brother! THAT'S a long story since he lives in the town where her place is, and we live about 2 hrs. away! We still are tending to all the upkeep there and the security system and utilities have to remain on. Plus the taxes, etc. Oh Boo-Hoo, I'm complaining!

I think it's FANTASTIC that your husband is so very kind for being so agreeable about your granddaughter. My daughter has 2 children from her first marriage, and she married ONE FANTASTIC man who had one daughter from his first! I have NEVER seen a more WONDERFUL father to those 3 kids! My daughter's kids call him "Big Daddy" and he has been AMAZING! Honestly, we are so lucky to have him in our family!

My son just had his first son and he really grew up over-night because they waited 6 years before having any children! Now, they want another one, hopefully a girl! Soooooooooo, fortunately "our" money will be divided up between our two, and then THEY can figure it out from there!

While we have some liquid assists, I would like to wait until the economy rebounds before we sell the 5 acres. In some ways it's good that it's not sold because I would be tempted to work something out with my sister-in-law! I'm not sure THAT would be my smartest move ever!

Thanks for wishing us luck! I'll try to do what I can to get her out of her mess!

[ChiciB1]

20. Thanks For Telling Me Your Story... Give Me Hope For Her... I Know

there are several "numbers" associated with bankruptcies, I know Trump has gone through several of them himself! He seems NOT to have suffered very much!

But you figures sound promising, but as I said I don't know how much she owes!

I just thank all of you for your help! I know I can come here and almost ALWAYS get good information!

[juno jones]

22. Good luck to you.

My bankruptcy came about as part of a failed business. We got hit by the bad economy and the escalating shipping/fuel rates of a few seasons ago (we had $5000 worth of imports on a Bali dock and the shipping cost kept getting higher and higher every time we tried to deal with it) and subsequently ran out of running money. The final kicker came when we got the intrest increases on our CC's (used for business) after paying them off diligently for years. That put us over the edge.


It took the house and the biz but I am happy to be able to tell any collection creeps who didn't get the notice to 'eff off'.
THAT is priceless, as they say.

[ChiciB1]

24. I Soooooooooo Understand You Plight! My Son Was Also A Victim Of

THIS economy! He had a Tree & Landscape business that did him in. We, as his parents tried (perhaps a bit to OUR peril) to keep him afloat for about six months but in the end it didn't work! As his parents we actually took the financial hit which drained assets from our IRA! It was MORE money than we expected to pay because he then kind of hit bottom and we also had to help him out because of certain "medical" problems that came into play!! Think "intervention" and you will understand! He turned to drugs as a means of coping and there were many sleepless nights that tore me and his sister apart! Days at a time when we didn't know if he was going to live to see the next day!

And yes, I AM talking about "meth!" I had never had ANY experience with this drug and it was quite and education for us! While as a Boomer I have some considerable knowledge about "whacky weed" and to this day do support legalization, as strange as that may seem! METH on the other hand is a horror story I don't want to ever re-live! He just went off the deep end because he was unable to face the fact that he was a failure... a competition that included his relationship ship with his father!

IT was A MESS! My husband couldn't understand the psychological affect it had on him and actually was unable to handle his "illness" and they stopped talking for almost a year! I don't condone what my son did, but I also felt squeezed between my loyalty to my husband and my fear for my son!

As they say, time heals wounds and he has since gotten a job that he is happy with, but he was VERY LUCKY to have stopped into a bucket of "honey" whereby he got employed by a very famous person in our area! That was almost 2 1/2 years ago and this person was not only a "life saver" for us, but for him too! And it alleviated a drain on our own finances! He actually "kicked" the drug by himself and is now a proud father of a 9 month old son! We realize addicts will always be addicts, but as I said "this other person" was able to get through to him in a way his own father couldn't!

So, I DO completely understand your situation, and there are times I think we should have let him actually go down the bankruptcy road to learn a hard lesson, but I felt caught in a vortex that spiraled downward quickly and maybe made the problem worse. ONE will NEVER know!

In the end, we did come to a certain compromise regarding the money issue. Not because I wanted repayment, but because it's an appeasement for my husband. In maybe 5 or 6 years we may look into getting a reverse mortgage home our home... by doing this when we pass away and our home we live in now will be sold by our kids... my son will have to forfeit his part to pay the the difference between what it's sold for. My daughter, will get her full amount. Now, it may not come down to this because by then my husband have let ALL bygones be bygones, but it was "my" way of saying that in the end, our son really dud pay back the money!

Truth be told, it was simply a "factor" in getting them back together. For some reason the excessive amount of money we shelled out for out son is something that "bugs" my husband! For me as a mother... well I AM a mother and money wasn't a factor if I felt it would help my son to recover, or perhaps even save his life!

So THAT'S my story... we all have some, but I don't have ANY problem letting others know that our family isn't "picture perfect" because once you try to hide things like that... eventually they come out! Besides WHY keep it all bottled up!

Which is WHERE I am at right now with my ex-sister-in-law... she kept it bottled and now the problem got BIGGER!

[juno jones]

26. Meth gives one not just an escape,

but also the ability to work harder for short bursts and when that is gone, the illusion of working hard even when one is spinning wheels.

I know many people who have fallen into that pit, enough for me to never want to go there. Your son probably started out needing to beat ridiculous deadlines and shortfalls in hours due to underbidding just to get the job. I've seen it before, and but for the grace of gods, etc.

I wish your family well, and hope you can make a recovery from all of this. From that angle, I would certainly recommend bankruptcy to your former SIL. One and done. What she makes of that is her own decision. Drawing it all out via payments and 'powers of attorney' (scary stuff, what rights does that give the company?) just leaves more time for you, as someoone who cares enough to help, to get messed over.

[ChiciB1]

27. I Tell My Kids AND Myself... Each Day I Wake Up, I KNOW I Will Have

something new to learn, and almost ALWAYS it's true! Whether it's just something small or a huge hurdle we have jump! And I did LEARN a lot about METH!! The stories I could tell! I also understand "addiction" so much more, even it's not METH!

In the end, it's the learning that counts! And I can't believe all the typo/spelling mistakes in the last post I made! I get stuck up on things like that... but I was in a hurry to type. My grandson is in town from college and I'm anxious to go over to see him. Then we'll all be going out to dinner, AS A FAMILY!

I guess we can dig really deep when the need is there! Good Luck to you as well, and again, THANKS for sharing!

I went to lots of those addiction places (meetings) and mostly cried my way through them... but for TODAY, we are happy within our family! There will be hurdles again, but I have come to believe that "trusting people over 30" was just so stupid! With age comes wisdom!! And no, I don't have one foot in the grave, just began my 6th decade and it doesn't feel all that old!

Now, onto my SIL!! I'll get her there some way!

[wryter2000]

6. I would tell her "run like hell!"

I hope she hasn't signed anything. There are lots of sharks preying on people like her. Anyone who asked me to sign over my bank account would see nothing more of my but my back.

[ChiciB1]

11. Nothing Signed... I Told He NOT TO! I Wanted To Read The Thing First!

She'll probably take whatever advice I give her. I wish she would let her kids know though!

[wryter2000]

7. Also,

You can tell them to kiss off. She'll end up wrecking her credit, but it's probably a mess, anyway. It's unpleasant, and it feels like hell to be a deadbeat, but sometimes you have no choice.

I think she can get an honest attorney to do a bankruptcy for her for less than $200.

[ChiciB1]

10. Yeah, I Think I Can Google Around... I Always Thought Bankruptcy Lawyers

cost a lot. I don't know how long this has been going on, but I don't think it will matter much if she isn't paying her bills right now. She DID get her car financed through my Credit Union, and I told her to see if she could get a consolidation loan, guess they turned her down.

I guess I'm going have to do some "google searching" or get out those yellow pages!

One funny thing about this though, she WANTS to keep ONE credit card!! I already told her that it would probably not happen. I'm not sure I have ALL the information I need, but I suppose I'll give it my best try!

My husband may not be very happy with me when I tell him, but it IS what IT IS! Oh well, he's not ALL that close to his brother anyway... still blood is blood!

[virgogal]

13. I'd avoid them like the plague. A new business for a recent problem that

advertises frequently is not to be trusted.

[truedelphi]

23. The thing that seems fishy to me about all this is

Either they are providing her with a bankruptcy or they aren't.

If she had a REAL bankruptcy go through, then she wouldn't owe anything on the credit cards. (At least, that is what I have been told.)

The other thing is - if she has NADDA, she cannot lose anything by simply quiting paying off these debts. All she is doing is paying off her car - it might be best if she can figure out how to pay the car off in full and then go ahead and ditch paying off the cards.

Most people do not realize this, but if you're in the situation where your credit is terrible anyway, not paying the cards off doesn't affect anything. After all, right now, even people with middling credit are not getting loans. Your credit right now has to be EXCELLENT for you to get a car loan or house loan.

And in about two years, all the banks conencted to your cards will try and get you to settle for about one third to one half of what you owe as the total balance. Whether you have signed up for any "counseling services" or not.

[ChiciB1]

25. That Was My FIRST Advice To Her! I'm Sure Her Credit Is In The Tank... BUT

she keeps saying she wants to keep ONE credit card! No matter what she does, I don't think that is going to happen!

I do have one question, and maybe it shows my stupidity, but what is NADDA?? Is it a financial, or health thing?

She does have an illness that she calls "tremors" but what I think is really Parkinson's. My daughter and son-in-law are both in the medical field and and been for some time now. They definitely think it's Parkinson's, but perhaps my ex-sister-in-law is in denial! I don't know for sure. But from what they've seen, and by the way she shakes and talks, it seems to be more than tremors!

Could this be a factor in her favor?? I KNOW I'm sounding like I CONDONE people who foolishly run up credit card debt and then want to just skip out on it, I don't think that! I honestly feel she herself got herself in this mess. Wanting to buy things for her children and grandchildren, in a sense to have their love! A lot coming from her divorce and her ex-husband! He could afford things for them, she couldn't, so she charged them! AND I've had NUMEROUS talks with her about THAT issue too! Your kids love you because they love you, NOT by what you buy them! But, as I've said above, unfortunately she has a problem with her lack of extended education and using common sense! Hey, we've all done stupid things... I know I have! Read about my son above!

Still, while we lost money, we didn't destroy ourselves and even though we're middle class, I feel luckier than some!

But do explain that NADDA thing, because NOW I'm not so smart!

[truedelphi]

28. NADDA means nothing in Spanish

Sorry about that. I live in California and a few choice words are now in everyone's
vocabulary, as one third of our populace is Spanish speaking.

[DeadEyeDyck]

29. I'd be sure to add the ...

" up front fee of $200.00 " to th debit list.