God, how do you deal with it? (long rant)

[friesianrider]

I am so sad and frustrated I could scream and cry (and, on my drive home tonight, I did in fact scream and cry).

For some background, I am sorry it is so long: One of my outdoor ferals has been a "regular" for about a year now, since I was able to nab him and got him neutered and his vaccines. It took me close to three months to slowly gain his trust enough to feed him in a dog crate (I ended up just shutting the door on him while he was eating - he was too smart for the humane traps!). Shadow was - I mean, Shadow IS - my sweet boy. When I found him hobbling in my front yard last winter, he had a broken leg and was severely emaciated. He was terrified, but after many nights attempting to get him a plate of food in 3 feet of snow, he began to trust me. After his neutering, he turned into the sweetest, kindest kitty anyone could want. I feed three other feral Toms regularly, and Shadow got along so well with all of them and even did the "head bump" with them. We got his leg fixed, of course, and boy did Shadow know we helped him. He was my sweet, special boy, even though he had moments of "feral" behavior. Shadow did not show up for several days to eat recently, which was hihgly unusual behavior for him, who usually hung out by my pool. I was frantic, and started putting up flyers, calling all the shelters within a 3 county radius, and talking with my neighbors. There is a large farm down my road where I thought I may have spotted my Shadow, and I went to speak with them tonight...

As I pulled up, I immediately noticed many kittens and grown cats around her property, all with weepy eyes and of decent weight but somewhat on the thin side. I started talking to her, and quickly realized this woman "sometimes" throws some food down for all these cats, but refuses to spay and neuter them. She even very casually said with a laugh, "when we get a "surplus", we just take them and drop them off in bundles at farms in the area, haha!" - I guess I was supposed to find that funny. I would have loved to have a picture of my face at that moment - my mouth must have been hanging to the ground. I tried to politely give her the "you really should spay and neuter" speech (health benefits, animals killed in shelters, etc), and she just said "yeah, I guess." She then goes on to tell me how she and some other lady down the street had two grey cats that "looked" Siamese (these are ferals of course) and they actually locked them in her barn to try and get them to breed! All I could think of was, yes, this is the same woman who 2 minutes ago was complaining about the cats overbreeding and needing to dump them on other people's property...and she actually tried to PURPOSELY breed two cats who "looked" pretty. And wtf were you hoping to accomplish you dumbass? What...did you think you were going to sell the kittens and make lots of money?!

I felt myself losing it, and had to quickly hand her Shadow's flyer and excuse myself. My sweet boy may be on her property because there is food there, so I sort of need her help. Otherwise, I probably would have lost it and told her what a cruel, ignorant woman she was and how she was contributing in mass numbers to the overpopulation of cats - and the deaths of so many healthy cats in shelters.

I am angry and upset that my baby is missing, and kicking myself for not bringing the whole lot of my outdoor ferals inside (or at least for not microchipping them, damn!). I am even more angry and upset that there are people this friggin' ignorant in this world who are contributing to all the animals put to sleep every minute in this country just because there aren't enough homes for them all. She just didn't seem to get it.

I am seriously so frustrated and sad I don't know what to do. How do I handle this woman? I have a $700 vet bill from cats I have taken to be spayed or neutered from others farms in my area and am paying the costs for them completely on my own (none of the owners would help pay even $1 per cat as I suggested - I even trapped them all myself and drove each one of them to the clinic). I also just signed over my $500 college graduation gift check from my parents to the local (and very financially strapped) no-kill shelter, who is in desperate need of funds to put radiant heat in the floor of their main doggie house before winter comes. I am just completely out of funds anymore to do it myself since this will be a monumental job. I'd estimate she has between 20-30 cats and kittens too. I've contacted every low cost spay neuter group in my area and they all tell me the cost will be at least $20 per cat (this woman has refused to pay a penny). What is worse, before I left I told her that I would be happy to help her humanely trap her cats and get them neutered and her response was "oh, I don't know about that, I'll have to ask my husband and the kids, they like having the kittens around all the time." Sure, and that's why you dump them on someone else's property, right? :eyes:

I just don't know what to do. I can't tell this woman off like I want to, because I need her help if she sees my Shadow. And she doesn't even seem receptive to even "allowing" ME to pay for the surgeries of all these cats. I feel like I am constantly fighting - with every bone in my body - a losing battle with spaying and neutering. Maybe it is because I am only 22 years old and still somewhat idealistic, but I just don't understand why people do this, I just don't. I am just so frustrated. :cry:

[smbolisnch]

1. Oh my.

Well first, let me just say again how wonderful I think you are for taking such great care of these strays. They are lucky to have someone as great as you around to love them and look out for them.

As for Shadow, I hope that he turns up soon. My Linus disappeared one day last fall, and I could not find him anywhere. I turned my house inside out. I sobbed for days, hung flyers etc. Then one afternoon while I was doing laundry, he crawled out from behind the storage room in the basement and wanted a hug. :) Don't be too discouraged, he ma just need some time alone.

As for the neighbor, that is a tougher situation. You must feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I would just bite my tongue for now, and wait to see what happens with Shadow. Then, when the time is more appropriate, maybe you can suggest to her that she spay the animals. We can work on that later, though.

I know the pain of large vet bills as well, and it is a real bummer. You just want to help the animals and you feel like you are sinking in bills. My vet let me make payments for the last big one, and it took a while. 800.00. *whew*. I sweat just typing that!

I don't think being 22 has anything to do with your idealism. I think everyone in this group has that starry eyed way about them when it comes to animals. It is in our blood. You are just a kind soul, with a huge heart. Don't become jaded.

You will sort through this, and we will be here along the way! :hug::grouphug:

[Lorien]

2. Have you reported her to the humane society?

I don't know if you have any laws in your area relating to limits on the amount of cats or dogs one is allowed to keep on their property. Another thing you might consider is working to get spay and neuter laws passed for your county. I know that many rural areas in Ohio have passed such laws BECAUSE of idiots like your neighbor who dump animals on other peoples farms. With your youth, idealism, passion and eloquence, I'm certain that you could accomplish this-and it would be a hell of a lot less expensive for you personally than spaying and neutering them all yourself.

[livinginphotographs]

3. On a good note, I'd bet that Shadow will come home.

My roommate had pretty much the same situation, and his cat Bob used to run off for a few days in the spring, and then come back (he was neutered, so I don't know how much carousing with the ladies he could be doing, but who knows).

[LisaLynne]

4. I have a feeling Shadow will show up.

I'll keep the sweetie in my thoughts until then and keep up updated!

As far as the woman, we have had a couple of "incidents" like that in my area over the past couple of years. If she is a "collector", it's actually a type of mental condition. So, that might be it and she, as well as the cats, might need help, although it's always a tough call, because if certain agencies get involved, they will euthanize a lot of the animals -- sometimes, too many in my opinion. The first incident of that type around here was a nightmare, but people went and talked to them -- it was too late by the time we found out about it -- and I'll admit that the next time they found a house with 75 cats, they actually only put down 2 who had cancer and the rest were fixed up, spayed, neutered, and adopted out.

Some people just don't get it. Some people really do care about cats, but for some reason, the spay/neuter thing just doesn't get through. I think educating people about overpopulation is a really important thing and you tried to do it with her, although who knows if you got through to her. I would keep her on your good side for now and then when Shadow is back, think about the situation again. Telling her off, although very cathartic, probably won't get her to change. However, I would say let loose if it becomes apparent that she's not going to do anything -- and then you might end up having to call in the authorities.

Is there a mobile spay/neuter thing in your area? That might be a good place to start. Maybe if a van could pull up and do some of the surgeries, she might be more receptive.

[flamingyouth]

5. You need to report her.

And I agree with others here, Shadow will return.

I feel for you, I really do. I wish there were more people like you in the world. :hug:

All four of "my" cats are rescues, what others considered throwaways because they have a chronic illness or a disability. The financial aspect is really a challenge, I understand that.

Again, this woman needs to be reported.

Thank you for all you do. :hug:

[flvegan]

6. Pennsylvania law

Your state has a fairly decent animal cruelty statute, and it's 5511 under Title 18, Crimes and Offenses. In part it states:

"(c) Cruelty to animals.--A person commits a summary offense if he wantonly or cruelly illtreats, overloads, beats, otherwise abuses any animal, or neglects any animal as to which he has a duty of care, whether belonging to himself or otherwise, or abandons any animal, or deprives any animal of necessary sustenance, drink, shelter or veterinary care, or access to clean and sanitary shelter which will protect the animal against inclement weather and preserve the animal'S body heat and keep it dry. This subsection shall not apply to activity undertaken in normal agricultural operation."

I would say she's in violation of the "abandons any animal" with the dumping on other farms, and the "deprives any animal...veterinary care" portions.

When Shadow comes back, report her ass. Oh, first, go back and take some pictures. Cops love pictures. Or, cops hate pictures (when you show them to their boss and ask why they didn't do anything about it). I'm just sayin'...

[smbolisnch]

7. "I'm just sayin'..."

Have you done that??? :loveya:

[flvegan]

8. Done what?

Do I strike you as the kind of guy that would file a complaint about certain animals that were being mistreated? Who then, when refused proper attention to said abuses, took pictures taken by oneself to the county board that governs our animal protection and enforcement agency DURING a public meeting? Who, during "new business" in the public forum, asked why nothing had been done, AND upon receiving the standard, "I don't have that file in front of me, so I can't comment" response took copies of all said pictures to all board members AND handed copies to be passed around the forum? Who then returning to the mic and podium, spelled out the exact circumstances that were ignored? Who then asked, in no uncertain terms, of the Director of said animal agency WHY his agency ignored such horrid abuse? Who then enjoyed the play by play over the next couple weeks of said animal services crawling up every oriface of the offending people (who, btw, can't have animals anymore)?

Do I strike you as the kind of guy that would take almost sinful pleasure in knowing that no matter what happened in that forum, I knew that the animals in question were safe, having been "removed" several days before?

Do I? C'mon, surely that's not me. :evilgrin:

[smbolisnch]

9. Yes, you do.

As Paris (or shockra) would say, That's hot. :evilgrin: