food writing pet peeves

[eyesroll]

Throwing this out there for the group -- what kinds of language drives you batty when you see it in articles, recipes or menus, or hear it on food shows?

As far as I am concerned, we can get rid of the description "chin-dripping." Especially when it refers to tomatoes (as an article about the Uglyripe suggested). Food can be very sensual... but if the first image I get of a tomato is biting into it (!!?!) and feeling a gush of warm and viscous tomato guts down my face, I'm not going to want to eat it.

"Gooey." That's another one. I'm an adult. I don't mind if McDonald's or Snickers or whatever advertises its food as "gooey." But I don't want to see it on a menu when I'm paying $10 for dessert. And don't get me started on "ooey gooey." Or "ooey gooey good." Marc Summers ("Unwrapped"), I'm looking in your direction.

"Succulent." This used to be a good word. Now, however, it seems every shrimp sold in the United States is "succulent." I've seen succulent steak, succulent sushi. When does it stop? Succulent rice cakes? Do the marketing people even know what it means? Would they be appalled to find out the aloe plant in my living room is considered succulent?

"Chocolate Martini." Sorry, just because it's in a martini glass doesn't make it a martini. Gin, vermouth, olives. That's a martini. Substitute vodka and you've got a vodka martini. Onions instead of olives, and you have a gibson. Some olive brine and you have a dirty martini. Everything else is a cocktail. And I do enjoy a chocolate cocktail on occasion. But it's not a martini.

So, what bugs you?

[Mandate My Ass]

1. Ditto what you said

particularly about the martini descriptions. And some of the FoodTV people are too obnoxious for words. Even though the verb "plated" has become mainstream, it still annoys the crap out of me when Mario Battali says it.

My main pet peeves really are the pretentious food writers. I only want to hear what's in it and how it tastes. If you want to be a poet, go find another line of work. Here's what sets me off.

The nouns: shards, wreaths, swaths, jumbles, jewels, pillows, plumes...

The verbs: sings, snaps, soars, whispers, tickles...

The adjectives: kissed, crowned, lacquered, dusted, cradled, nestled, redolent, pristine, indulgent, splashed, silken...

I also hate long-winded descriptions of the trendy, well-heeled patrons and the color of their cocktails and repitition of overheard comments. Go write for Sex and the City and leave me alone. :puke:

Whew, I feel better now. :-)

[grasswire]

2. "napped"

The fish was napped with a raspberry coulis.

Actually, I liked food writing more when the writing was about the food and its origin and less about the chef. Gourmet magazine lost something when it remodeled itself.

[Mandate My Ass]

3. Celebrity chefs

'nuff said.

I miss MFK Fisher. Now, she could wax poetic and it sounded sensual, inspired and enthusiastic rather than pretentious. It was all about the food, not about "look at me being clever."

[sleepyhead]

12. Cutesy-poo food critics

Like Gael Greene in New York Magazine. There are hundreds like her. Her reviews make me lose my appetite. Her writing is all about her and her oh-so-precious friends and their reaction to the oh-so-sophisticated ambiance (the food takes a back seat to all this), with plenty of asides about how chummy they all are with the above-mentioned celebrity chefs. You can read an entire review of hers and still have no idea what the food looks or tastes like.

[wryter2000]

4. "Crusty bread"

It was descreptive the first 100 times I heard it.

[Stinky The Clown]

5. It all goes back to when foodies got just plain crazy

You remember the days ......

Garnishes higher than your hat

Ostrich feathers coming out of a sorbet

Ravioli colored like the South Endoran flag, complete with the stars, and plated in a checkerboard and filled with a "coulis of the crap du jour" and garnished with "a clever blend of sun dried apricot and brussels sprout chips accompanied with caper flavored duck teeth"

Choux paste baked to look like Priapus' genitalia

Meal presentations that were so architectural the chef had to apply for a building permit.

The words had to follow the pictures .......

I'm old school. I'm barely on the "pasta" page. To me, its still macaroni. Sometimes I'm embarrassed for my industry :shrug:

[eyesroll]

6. I'm so making Priapus' genitalia choux paste.

:bounce:

[Stinky The Clown]

7. Here's some inspiration

We saw this fresco of him in a bulding in Pompeii. I suppose the most famous picture is the one where he is weighing his ...... uh .... pate choux. This one has *two* for him to weigh.

[WritersBlock]

8. LOL!! When I first glanced at that, I thought it was baked-on food left

in a pan that was really gonna need a long soaking!

[Dora]

9. Locking: NO SEX THREADS!

[Stinky The Clown]

10. Oh Please, Dora, Please let it stay

}(

This goes right along with food threads .......... food and eating being such sensual things, yanno!

Isn't it Wolfgang Puck who's TeeVee catch phrase is "Eat, Live, Love"?

[BlueHandDuo]

11. I'm not even going to ask...

...about the filling.