What to do with ***very*** old bubbly (wine) with the stopper welded to the bottle?

[Stinky The Clown]

We cleaned out the back recesses of the wine cellar/closet/hole/stash down in the basment today. There were five bottles of stuff from waaaaaaay back there. Maybe the 80s. Really. I'm guessing about 1985-ish. Three bottles are benign. Old, locally vinted stuff that was crap to start with and has simply gone 'round the bend. No problem. Yank out the cork, pour it down the drain. Done.

But I have two bottles of cheap, cheap, cheap old sparkling wine. One is a 750 and the other a 1.5L. Neither would cost over ten bux if bought today. Here's the problem. The stoppers (plastic, not cork) are welded into the bottles. I have no idea if there is any remaining gas. I have no idea if the pressure's built up. What to do, what to do?

Recycling them as is poses a risk, in my view. What if these guys explode? And if they don't, what if one of the truck guys decides to try some and its spoiled? Or even if he just gets looped. I don't fear legal consequences, just morally. Do I throw them in the garbage instead so they're hidden in a bag?

I know this is not big deal, but it sorta is. Yanno? My real fear is the damn things popping their cork violently.

What would you do with two ancient bottles of a substance (surely it is no longer wine!) that *could* explode?

[Denninmi]

1. Carefully destroy them.

I would wrap each bottle in a couple of layers of newspaper, and then put that inside a paper shopping bag, and wrap that up with some duct tape.

Then, I would put each of the bottles, now wrapped in a couple of layers of paper, into another paper bag, fold the top down, and duct tape that.

Then, I put THAT whole thing into a paper lawn and leaf bag, take it out into the back yard, shatter it with something like a hammer or a big rock, let the fluid drain out, repackage as necessary, probably into a plastic garbage bag so that the now-wet paper doesn't fall apart and shed bits of glass everywhere, and discard the whole thing in the trash.

I think that, with multiple layers like that, even under pressure, you should be OK. Just wear heavy clothing, gloves, and eye protection when you shatter it.

I haven't ever tried this with bottles of champagne, which are under pressure, but I have used this procedure many times to dispose of unwanted or partially shattered window glass without any incident or accidents.

[Warpy]

2. You have two options: electric drill and hammer

You can drill through the cork to release any pressure that is inside and then smash the bottles inside a couple of layers of plastic bag to decant the wine.

Or you can wrap them up in towels and bash them with hammers. The towels will stop any shrapnel if there's still any fizz left. Both bashings should be done outside, of course, so you don't have to sop up any spilled, spoiled wine.

My guess is that there's still some carbonation in there. I'd tend to go with the drill and bash method, myself instead of sacrificing a towel or two.

[Phentex]

3. Either way, I think a video would be interesting...

for this group!

[Stinky The Clown]

4. Problem solved!

Several grocery bags

Triple bag each bottle

Insert a CO2 cart in StinkyJr2's pellet rifle

Plink from close range

Disappointingly, no drama, no carbonation left, no explosion.

Place all debris in a garbage bag, place in the garbage can, put at curbside for pickup tomorrow.