Bedwetting

[trotsky]

Our son is almost 6, but we have to put him to bed with a pull-up on every night. When he was around 4, he started to have dry nights, sometimes several in a row, but that hasn't happened in a long time.

His problem is that he sleeps *so hard*, his body just can't wake him up to go. And of course pull-ups aren't perfect, and at least once every other week we will have a leak. We restrict liquids after supper, he always goes before bed, I don't know what more we can do on that side of things.

Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, how? We would love to get him a loft bed (as he so desperately wants - he thinks they're cool) but we just can't be cleaning up that mess regularly up high. So we've kind of used that as a motivator. But because this appears to be happening totally subconsciously, we're just not making any progress.

Does the "baptism by fire" approach have any validity? Should we just put him to bed without pull-ups for awhile to let him get good & wet? My concern is that won't do anything other than embarrass him.

[oregonjen]

1. Has he been seen by his doctor?

Just to rule out medical issues?

[trotsky]

2. Well, he took a very long time to potty train.

Didn't become fully trained (daytime) until 4, and still had fairly frequent accidents until about 4-1/2.

At the time, we expressed concern to our doctor, but he said it was not unusual. He's our first, so we have absolutely no idea what "normal" or "usual" are, just what he is like.

[oregonjen]

3. The reason why I ask is because at the school I used to work at

a 6 year girl was having accidents. The parents took the girl to the doc and she was diagnosed as having a problem causing accidents. She had surgery to repair (I'm not sure exactly what, forgive me)what was needed. After that, she was fine.

Also, bladder infections can cause accidents. It's just a good idea to get him checked out first before you try other things. Don't let the doc dismiss it. Make sure he is looked at.

[trotsky]

5. Some friends of ours had a problem with their daughter, too.

She also had surgery, so maybe it was the same problem?

His yearly checkup is coming up very soon, so we'll be sure to bring it up. We're seeing a different doctor now, so maybe he will be more sympathetic.

[OnionPatch]

4. We have a similar problem

Our daughter is 4 1/2. She was potty trained for daytime when she was three but we kept putting pull-ups on her at night. I think that was a mistake. I think she got used to being able to pee in her sleep with no discomfort and I had read somewhere too that it's better to just let them get wet and uncomfortable. We stopped using pullups a few months ago and put plastic sheets on the beds. (She has bunk beds.)

The problem is that she still has accidents at least every other night. But at least they wake her up whereas she slept through with a pullup on. I try not to embarrass her and I even tell her that it's ok and she'll eventually get used to waking up when she has to pee, so I hope it's not hurting her self-esteem like you suggested. I thought it hurt her self-esteem to spend the night with other kids her age who didn't have to wear pull-ups.

Also, FYI, it's actually easier to make the top bunk IMO, but I'm tall. You might consider bunk beds for the reason I like them: if she wets the bed, there is always the other one ready to go, so there is no fumbling around with bed-making in the middle of the night.

Hang in there, you aren't alone. I have a feeling it just takes time. Maybe someone with some profound knowledge of night-time potty training will read this and help us out. :)

[trotsky]

6. Yeah, ain't second-guessing fun?

That's what I constantly wonder. Were we doing the right thing in keeping the pull-ups at night? Arrgh!

His room is smaller than his sister's, and while they're both too young to notice the difference right now, I want to get him in a loft bed to both increase the amount of floorspace as well as give him the "cool" aspect to hopefully offset any "her room is bigger than mine!" fights that will inevitably come. :)

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

8. I think what you are doing will work eventually.

I occasionally had a bed wetting problem when I was 5. Of course, back then they didn't make pull-ups for kids that big. I think I would have been embarrassed to wear them anyhow, because they're pretty much a diaper. My parents put plastic sheets on my bed until to stopped doing it. They had a drawer of spare sheets and I would get up and put new sheets on by myself if I wet the bed. I think this is a good approach, because it is less embarrassing for the child. Also, it teaches the child to be responsible for themselves. Waking up to change the sheets also helps the kid learn that they need to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Eventually, their body will get used to the routine and they'll start waking themselves up at night to use the bathroom. I think I stopped having the problem when I was 6 or 7.

Yes, they could have a medical problem, but often it is something the kid will grow out of too.

BTW, I never had any self-esteem problems.

[phylny]

7. We went through bedwetting with one of our daughters.

She was perfectly dry at night for *8* years, and then began bedwetting. I was baffled for a long time, and couldn't figure out what was going on.

Then I realized that it was soccer season - she was drinking a lot of water at practice, and was too dead tired to wake up when her body was signaling her that she had to pee.

We ended up doing a few things. We DID buy nighttime pull-up pants and used them, because it was just a drag cleaning all that bedding, and she was embarrassed about it. I also used to wake her up around 11 p.m., before I went to sleep, and guide her to the bathroom, plop her down on the toilet, and boy would she pee! This was a crucial step, I think, because it helped her wake up, and kept the pull-up dry, which was a pleasant thing for her in the morning. Eventually, she was dry again and we didn't need to worry anymore.

If you haven't talked to your pediatrician, do so. One of my nephews wet the bed at night, and they tried everything until the doctor medicated him - don't know what the medicine was, but I believe it helped the kidneys slow production of urine (which is supposed to happen at night, but doesn't happen in some kids). The doctor will probably be able to guide you regarding whether or not to take the diaper away. From a practical standpoint, I know it sure was easier not washing all that bedding :)

Good luck to all of you!