What would you do about a nurse who treated your 3yr old daughter...

[CoffeeCat]

...this way?

Tonight, we took our daughter to the doctor because she had a 103 temp. The doctor saw her and said she was "the sickest little girl I've seen all day." He recommended that she get blood drawn. She was fine through the entire exam. No crying--very cooperative--but exhausted from vomiting and being so hot.

We explained to our 3yr old that she was going to have her finger poked, but that it would be finished in a second. She was scared and she was crying a bit. However, she was not out of control. She sat on my lap, just crying a bit.

In storms this technician with her plastic tub full of supplies. My daughter was crying a bit, still on my lap. The technician, a middle-aged woman, gruffly said to my 3yr old, "OK! We can do this the EASY WAY, or the HARD WAY, which is it going to be???"

I just kept trying to reassure my daughter and let her know it would be over soon. I held her as the woman was getting the needle/poker ready. My daughter saw it and started crying a bit harder. I distracted my daughter with a picture of Big Bird. The technician was just about to poke her when my daughter looked saw the needle. She was scared and she cried. She didn't move or scream...she was just scared. The tech then said, "OK!! If you're gonna fight me this is going to be harder on you, not me!"

The woman poked her, and of course, it hurt. She then had to "milk" the blood out of her finger. It was so awful to watch it. She scraped her finger on the edge of the tube, in which the blood drops were stored. She took about 20 drops. I'm not criticizing this woman's technique. It was her manner that outraged me. I assume that her methods were normal.

I understand that shots and finger pokes are traumatic for parents, as well as children. However, I've NEVER SEEN SUCH AN UNEMPATHETIC, GRUFF, ABRASIVE PERSON who worked in the medical field! My other child has had shots. It was hard, but it wasn't like this!! The nurse who saw my daughter, before the doctor, was wonderful and kind!

This woman seemed ready for a fight from the moment she walked in the door! My daughter is only 3, for God's sake!!! She was scared, sick and running a 103 temp.

I am planning on complaining about this woman to the Director of Nursing.

Do you think I am overreacting?

[fortyfeetunder]

1. Don't hesitate to complain!!!

Hospitals need to know when their staff can't handle working with little ones. Her methods are NOT normal. That nurse should not have been assigned to your kid, period.

I recall last time I had my kid in for a blood draw, the technicians on staff were the pediatric specialists. They were angels....

[FormerDittoHead]

2. Note on chart: "Difficult" n/t

[Chalco]

3. This nurse deserves a major complaint. Your child's

behavior was normal, the nurse's was not.

[rbnyc]

4. Do complain.

Her manner was not acceptable.

I had a terrible nurse when I was in for my c-section. I won't go into all the details, but I told my OB about her on my follow-up visit and she said she wished I'd complained about her right away.

I'm so sorry you and your little girl had that experience.

[CoffeeCat]

7. That must have been stressful...

...to have a terrible nurse with a c-section. C-sections are stressful enough, especially if you get into an emergency situation.

I'm sorry you went through that and I'm glad you complained.

I've had two c-sections and a compassionate, professional hospital staff is so key when you endure the procedure.

Thanks for your comments.

[rbnyc]

10. It was the prep nurse.

She jammed the IV into my hand and hit a tendon. Blood went everywhere and she didn't clean it up. The tube was a tangle of loose loops taped up in the most haphazard way. Then, I swear to god, she dry-shaved me! I was horrified by the time I got to the ER. But everything went well during the procedure. The spinal was a piece of cake compared to the IV.

But then the next morning, the phone rang. I had a hard time getting it because of my sloppy IV. Then the baby started to cry. I accidentally knocked the phone onto the floor. I picked it up but I'd accidentally disconnected the person who'd called me. The baby was still crying and I was trying to get to him, and the same nurse came in and said, "What! Are you just going to let him starve! He's hungry!"

I was very tired and I became defensive. So she scolded me again, "Saying, you can't get upset, the baby will pick up on it. You don't want your baby to be afraid, do you?"

I had to pee, so I told her I'd feed the baby after I peed and that we were fine and didn't need her for anything, unless she wanted to take out my IV.

"Not until you pee 3 times" She said and she followed me into the bathroom. While I was wiping myself she said, "Make sure to wipe front to back."

I said, "What the FUCK do you think I'm doing?!"

"Why are you so angry? What's wrong with you? DO you need to be on medication or something?"

I said, "You are a condescending bitch and you're going to make my head explode."

Then she left.

Then for the rest of my time there she was sickeningly sweet and complimented me profusely.

When my OB came to check up on me I said, "I'm fine. I'm ready to go home!"

Good Lord!

[CoffeeCat]

11. Update: I complained...

...and the Director of Nursing called me today.

She was kind and she listened and said that the tech was totally out of line.

She said she would speak to this tech about being more caring and sensitive with little children.

So, I guess that's how it ends.

All I know is that this tech will never touch my children again. I don't care if she's wearing a Little Mermaid costume, handing out free plasma televisions and as sweet as pie. She's not getting near my kids.

In my opinion, you shouldn't have to remind a nurse to be nice to 3 yr olds. I don't think this woman should be working anywhere near children. I don't own the clinic, so it's not my decision.

I did my part, I'll warn my friends about her and keep my kids away from her.

Thanks for all of you insight.

Another chapter in the parenting book, I guess! :)

[CornField]

5. I don't think you were over-reacting at all

I would have been livid... of course, you can't be openly livid in that situation without further upsetting the 3-yr-old.

Were you in CR?

[CoffeeCat]

6. Hi Cornfield....No I live just outside of Des Moines...

...we've never had a problem with any doctor/nurse at this clinic.

My husband and I were very shocked.

Like you said, you have to keep it together for your child. My main concern was comforting my daughter, so I had to set aside my anger and help her.

I grew up in CR.

[CoffeeCat]

8. Thanks everyone for your support and comments...

...I called the clinic and spoke to a receptionist. She thanked me for telling her about this situation and she indicated that the Director of Nursing needs to know about this.

She took my name and number and forwarded it to the DON.

I'm sure we'll hear something soon.

I take my 5 year old in to the same clinic, today! She's having her big check up and she'll be getting shots.

If Nurse Ratchett comes within 10 feet of my child, I will politely request that someone else do the shots/finger poke.

Everyone--thanks for your support. As parents, I know you understand how tough these things can be. It's so hard to see your little ones upset and hurt like that.

[wildeyed]

9. That is horrible!

Your poor little angel, only three, running 103, a shot and an evil nurse. I hope she is feeling better.

[SW FL Dem]

12. I agree with everyone who says you should complain

I have the utmost respect for nurses. They have an impossible job, but when their frustration interferes with patient care and compassion, they need to reevaluate their job situation.

[Ilsa]

13. I don't think this was a nurse.

Being a "lab tech" isn't what nurses really do. I bet it was a lab tech with little training in working with kids. I'm glad you complained. This tech should be restricted to working with adults only.

[amandae]

14. No, I don't think you're overreacting

And I'm glad you complained to the supervisor about it. Some phlebotomists can be so wonderful while others are nightmares and shouldn't be around children. You shouldn't go into any sort of health care field if you aren't a people person and it sounds like this woman isn't.

I've also known people who wanted to go into nursing just for the money. Yet another horrible reason to go into something that you need to be a people-person for and no doubt hundreds of patients would be paying for that career choice. Especially since one of them was rude and tactless to begin with.

When my son was 9-months-old we had a phlebotomist who was WONDERFUL! She drew the blood from my son and he must not have felt a thing. He didn't even whimper. She was so good with a needle.

I also had one come in while I was in labor with my 2nd child. She was a total bitch. When she was leaving, the labor nurse called her "Dracula" so I know I wasn't the only one who thought she was horrible.

I'm so sorry for your daughter's experience! You can only hope that she won't remember it at all as she gets older and it doesn't influence her opinion of having to get her blood drawn in the future. :hug:

[blondeatlast]

15. She was decidely out of line, but I've had to let NURSES

(not techs) restrain my son to put in an IV. There was simply no other way for it to have been done. He was terrified about it and even though he was horribly ill, able to fight them tooth and nail.

I had to leave the room, but I told them they could do what they had to do; he's a real fighter.

FWIW, you absolutely did the right thing. I can tell you that these nurses were absolutely respectful and kind to my son before and after. He even apologized to his favorite nurse.

That tech has NO business working with children. My hat is off to you for standing up for children!

[SarahB]

16. Bad, bad!

Not only am I a mom with a degree in early childhood ed., I'm also working toward a nursing degree and work in pediatric medicine. Never ever should you treat children like this. Sometimes you have to do things that may hurt (like drawing blood for instance), but don't yell at or otherwise berate the child. Use sensitivity and distraction techniques to make it easier for the child. Also, explain things, use praise, and utilize Emla as much as possible. No reason to make things hurt any more than they already do. Hugs to you both. :hug:

[SmokingJacket]

17. The nurses at my kids' doctor's office HATED taking blood

so much, they refused to do it. Now I have to take my kid to a laboratory where they're not so used to kids and get really upset when the kids cry.

You can complain -- but I suspect this nurse just really, really hates taking blood from kids because it makes them cry. And who can blame her?