I am so tired of dealing w/ my son's autism this summer.

[Ilsa]

My son comes home from summer school at noon. Around 1:45 I give him his afternoon dose of meds, plus a little bit of a PRN drug ("As needed") to calm his central nervous system because he was beginning to escalate with crying and screaming.

I finally had to grab him and put him on the floor because he was jumping up and down and almost running into the walls, and then trying to bite himself. I sent my other son to another room for his safety. He nearly crashed into my husband's aquarium. Putting down on the floor is a technique to prevent injury, but he continued trying to bite himself and me.

I then suggested he take a shower, as that sometimes calms him. He jumped at the chance of that and elected to take it in my shower in the master bath. He emptied my shampoo (I forgot to take it out) along with a few other nearly empty shower gels, but he was doing much better.

About twenty minutes later I heard the shower door open, so I went in to help him dry off. He had taken the shower nozzle and sprayed the bathroom, which is carpeted. About half of the bathroom is drenched.

Anyone have any Prozac they beam over to me?

A couple of weeks ago it was him making one mess after another from room to room as I cleaned them up. Pancake mix everywhere (wet and dry), broken family picture in the bedroom, syrup everywhere in the kitchen, perfumed body creme dumped down the sink in the bathroom.

Most stuff stays locked up, but I can't keep everything locked up. I need a bunch of new kitchen stuff, including new cabinets but what's the point if I have to mar them with installed locks?

I'm so tired. And I'm really tired of telling myself not to want anything nice (like wedding pictures hung up) because he'll destroy it.

[wildeyed]

1. Oh Ilsa, that sounds really rough.

Do you have family who can help out for a day or two while you get a little vacation? Occasionally, my folks will watch our kids overnight at our house and my husband and I go to a local hotel. Just being able to have a grown-up dinner with my husband and then sleep in helps a lot.

Regarding child proof cabinet, I have a friend whose cabinets have a magnetic system to keep them locked. She waves the magic magnet key over the doors and they lock. She waves it again and they unlock. No marring of the cabinets, and even the older children can't get in. If you are interested, I will ask her who makes them and where she got them.

Sounds like a really bad day. I don't have any prozac, but I will beam over some good thoughts for you and your son. :)

[Ilsa]

2. Thanks for the support.

My mom is dead and my father is 79 and not in good health. My in-laws are a little younger, but they are limited as well as far as what they can do. They'd never be able to restrain him if he became uncontrollable. My husband's niece helps sometimes, but she is babysitting these days, so she is unavailable.

My husband is home from travelling on business, but we haven't had any time together in since May.

I'd be interested in hearing more about the magnetic locking system.

[wildeyed]

3. Here is a link to some reviews of the magnetic lock system

that I found online.

http://www.epinions.com/kifm-Safety-Household_Precautions-Rev-a-Shelf_Tot-Lok/display_~reviews

Sounds very effective, but a little complicated to install. I think the Safety 1st system is identical to the one in the review.

Sounds like you guys are really worn out. Is there anyone from your son's school who could come in for a few hours so you could see a movie and grab a bite with your husband? It must be really difficult finding a qualified sitter :(

[trotsky]

9. Yes! I installed these and they're not too tricky.

And they work. VERY WELL. They provide templates to get everything situated correctly - just take your time and they're no problem.

[SoCalDem]

5. Man o man.. You need a break...badly..

What about visiting the social services department in your area? I know that services are being deleted faster than ever but someone surely could steer you to a support group, or may even tell you about some help you might not know about..

I have a friend with a 15 yr old autistic son, and I have seen the toll it takes on the family..especially siblings.. Is your son an only??

Are you in california? I could call her and ask for some references for you:hug:

[Ilsa]

6. Oh, thanks. No, I'm in TX and I have another younger son, 6.

Part of the pressure is that when the oldest is having a problem and stimming hard and crying, he can get aggressive. He could hurt my youngest accidentally, so I have to get my youngest away from him. I suspect I only have a few more years that I am strong enough not to get hurt. SO far, using the nonviolent intervention techniques works pretty well (and you don't need overpowering strength).

There is a teacher's aide from his school that knows him really well who has volunteered to help. I think I'm going to call her today.

[phylny]

10. Hi Ilsa

Is his behavior the same at school? If not, why not? Have you or your school done a functional behavioral analysis, or have you to see if you can pinppoint why this behavior is happening? I'm not being a smartaleck - I know he's autistic, but having worked with a lot of kids with autism, I know that not all kids have this difficulty with this level of challenging behavior, regardless of severity, and that an FBA can truly help in some circumstances.

Also, have you tried enlisting the help of a behavioral specialist?

Sorry if these things seem like "duh" questions to you - just trying to help and offer suggestions.

[FourStarDemocrat]

4. Good luck..it sounds like you have it rough.

I'm not in your situation, but perhaps there is an organization that serves families with autistic children near you that can put you in touch with another similar family. And once you get to know them better and if agreeable, perhaps you could take turns watching each others' kids for a few hours so you can get out once in while.

[Ilsa]

7. I don't think I could deal with watching more of them!

But I know someone who might be able to give me a little respite in the afternoon once in awhile. I hope she can help us.

[rbnyc]

8. Hugs

All I can do is wish you power and strength and love and help, keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and say, "Wow, I can't even imagine."

You are making such a huge sacrifice! I hope you can get away from time to time.

[lizzieforkerry]

11. Have you ever tried taking him off of milk and wheat?

My mother is a special ed teacher that has several autistic children a year. She has had a few examples of autistic kids calming down on a dairy/wheat restricted diet. Have you ever noticed that his behavior gets worse after he eats or drinks milk? Does he seem to crave milk? This might be something you have already looked into...just thought I would let you know that I have seen it work. If you want some articles that have been written about it I can ask my mom if she has them. Get a break if you can. Just a few hours to spend with your husband or other child alone might help. Another child of my mom's was wild but she was able to get him to calm down with the magnastix- if he gets caught up in things he might enjoy this. I know each child is very different- just throwing out anything I know on the subject! Also our local Children's services offers in home and day care type settings for parents with autistic and disables children. My neighbor watches one in her home for 2 hours a day- she works for the county and this is part of her "desk job". She is really good with him and since this is her job she is trained and devotes the entire 2 hours to watching him (not watcing other children or trying to clean her kitchen etc) Good luck!

[bleedingheart]

12. Do you get any help in the home?

Here in PA, autistic children are by law provided with aides to help

[lizzieforkerry]

13. I just read this over in the science forum and thought of you...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=228x9578