Need Feeding Advice

[abelenkpe]

Both my husband and I work full time, and we have a beautiful baby boy. Our problem: our child is 14 months old and won't eat. He is only 18 pounds. He was born 6 weeks premature and has been diagnosed with reflux. As a result it has always been difficult getting him to eat or drink even while taking zantac. The only way to get him to drink a bottle is to give it to him just before he goes to sleep. He used to eat 12 oz. of baby food, but now that we are trying to switch to regular food he wont eat at all. He refuses to be spoon fed, and wont eat any of the things we have offered him. No potatoes, french fries, veggies, waffles, bread, toast, eggs, french toast, cereals other than the occasional cheerio. No veggie booty, pirate booty, chicken, smoothies, anything. He will eat mango, banana and strawberries, but not all the time. Lately he has gone several days only eating a couple of saltines and one or two bites of black beans. He used to eat yogurt like a champ, but lately has been refusing even that. Our G.I. specialist wants us to get him to gain weight, how can we do that when he refuses to eat? Our doctor has recommended giving him pedisure and carnation instant breakfast, but how can we get him to be interested in feeding himself? Please please help. I love my son and am so worried about him. I know he can sense this and I don't want to make eating more stressful.

Is it the way I present the food? I have tried feeding him in his high chair, but lately he gets upset when I put him in the chair. I have six weeks off to spend with him and have tried just following him around with a juice bottle and crackers, but he eats so little that way and nothing substantial. I'm going crazy with worry. What am I doing wrong? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[SoCalDem]

1. He may be underweight, but I doubt seriously that he will starve himself

He probably senses that food is an issue with you, and he's
playing" you..

Does he like finger foods? Try some "cocktail party" foods.. carrot sticks ..celery with peanut butter,cheese cubes, chicken strips with ranch dressing, grapes, fruits he likes.. just put plates of it where he can reach them.. Maybe when you are not trying to get him to eat, he will do it on his own..

Food is a powerful issue with toddlers and "they always win"..and succeed in making parents NUTS..

Gatorade popsicles are good too..makes sure he gets the electrolytes he needs..

Do you live where a garden is possible this late in the year?? My picky eater started eating veggies when we had a garden and he had his own stuff planted..

Perhaps you could make shopping a thing he enjoys.. Have him pick out his own food.. It could surprise you.. Maybe if he picked his own out he would eat more ..

Lastly.. Soome kids are just skinny kids... My oldest was a skinny kid and is now a healthy 32 yr old with no eating problems..

Good luck.. I know it's infuriating when they won;t eat, but the more upset YOU get about it, the bigger the issue it gets :)

[abelenkpe]

7. Yeah...

I know you are right. I can tell that he senses how anxious I am when he doesn't eat. I gotta learn to be cool about it. We went to the grocery store yesterday and he pointed to some strawberries which he ate eagerly once we got them home. Not very much, but something is always better than nothing! I'm gonna try leaving snacks places he can reach today and see if he just eats when he is hungry. Hopefully I can then figure out a schedule that corresponds with the time of day he wants to eat naturally. Thanks for the advice! It's good to hear your oldest is doing well. :)

[rbnyc]

2. I'd be so worried too. I'm glad your doctor is involved.

Have you tried putting him in the highchair at the table while you and your family eat, and not giving him anything? Let him watch you, and wish he was doing what you're doing, and then when he reaches or shows interest, give him some food off your plate.

(This means you have to make something for yourself that he can eat too.)

Give him the pediasure after dinner anyway. But let him just observe dinner time for a while. Most babies want to do the things their parents do.

If your really having trouble with the high-chair, try a booster seat, tho he sounds so tiny. You should be able to find one that works, tho. And a booster seat will bring him even closer to the table and the activity of dinner.

Have you tried tum-ease?

http://www.theherbalist.com/html/tum-ease.html

This works well for my niece, who has reflux, and for my son who is having trouble adjusting to cow's milk.

[abelenkpe]

8. Oooo

No we haven't tried tum-ease. It certainly can't hurt to give it a go. We never seem to eat together except on the weekends. I think you're right that we need to eat around him. Hopefully he will want to mimic us. I'll letcha know how it goes. Thanks!

[knowbody0]

3. wow, good luck to you

im betting your six weeks at home will solve bunches. how is he at the day care? my youngest son was like this. he weighed 33 pounds at six. just a tiny guy who is now 6'2" and healthy as can be, but runs from onions and garlic which i used often back then. hmmmm. he loved carrots, raisins and pecans, so i always had that available for him.

[phylny]

4. Talk to the pediatrician and g.i. specialist again and see if a trip to

a pediatric feeding clinic is in order. Depending upon where you live, there may be a clinic with speech-language pathologists and/or occupational therapists who work with parents and babies/toddlers on this type of thing.

Sample Google search:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=pediatric+feeding+clinic&btnG=Search

How are his other areas of development progressing?

[abelenkpe]

9. He progressing well

I think. He's walking and seems very clever. Of course he is my first so I really don't know. He is so easy going and sweet. The only problem has been eating/drinking. It has been ongoing since birth. He was small to begin with and has always been uncomfortable at feedings. It makes me worry so much. We went to the doctor yesterday and he prescribed some antibiotics for a lingering respiratory infection (one of many) and said that he has seven teeth coming in. Of course they have been saying it's teething for a year now. Our G.I. specialist doesn't agree with the teething excuse entirely. He has scheduled some tests for next week. I will mention the feeding clinic to him and see what he says. At this point I am willing to explore any solution. Well, except surgery. That seems so scary. Hopefully it's not anything that requires that. Who knows, maybe I just stress him out at feedings because I am so stressed? Of course it doesn't help that my mother keeps reminding me that my father's sister died at one and a half because of a twisted intestine that it made it difficult for her to eat. Geez, I wish she would stop bringing that up.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it is just something he will grow out of. I mean, who doesn't like food?

[phylny]

11. One thing that the feeding specialists are great at is helping you use

calorie-dense food, so he gets the maximum amount of calories to support his growing body and brain.

When you say respiratory infection, my hospital training kicks in. If he is doing a lot of choking or coughing when he's eating or drinking, or his voice sounds wet and gurgly after eating, mention this to the doctor. Aspiration (food or drink getting past the vocal cords into the bronchial tubes or lungs) is a risk.

[wildeyed]

5. Couple of things.

My uncle has four kids. All of them were teeny-tiny as babies and toddlers. The second was even diagnosed with 'failure to thrive'. But they were all fine. Grew up to be normal-sized, healthy, athletic and exceptionally bright kids. Just really small when they were little. It was always weird when they started walking 'cause they were so small. They looked like a six month olds who had got out of the infant seat to go for a stroll.

And I guess that would be my second question. How does your son seem overall? Is he doing milestones on time? How is his mood? Is he active an interested in his surroundings? I never worried too much about what mine were eating if they were acting healthy.

And finally, my sister had a picky eater. I think he was genetically wired that way. But she made it so much worse by hovering over him all the time. And she was giving him so many snacks, bottles of milk, ect, that it was no wonder he never ate meals. I was on an extended visit with her, and after a while, my daughter, a champion eater, wouldn't eat normally, either. She was getting so much between meals, and there was so much nervous energy around meal time, she stopped eating, too.

My recommendation, schedule meals and snacks. I would put him in his high chair. Offer a good variety of healthy foods that you think your son might like. Maybe give him some baby food and some finger food to experiment with at the same time. Leave the food out for a period of time, like 1/2 hour or so. Don't fuss or act anxious about what your son is or is not eating. Then take the food away and eat it yourself or give it to the dogs. My toddlers are very territorial about their stuff, including food. If they figure that I will eat their food if they don't, then sometimes they eat it just to keep it away from me }(

If not eating is a symptom of illness, then the illness needs to be dealt with before the symptom will disappear.

Good luck. My sister was frantic when she had this problem. But her anxiety fed the problem. She would leave him with me for the day, and by dinner he would be eating much better. He knew he couldn't control me with his eating, so the game wasn't fun anymore.

Her son is now six. He is still skinny and still a picky eater. But he is so, so much better now :)

[mzteris]

6. has your doc considered

dysphagia

http://www.asha.org/public/speech/swallowing/Swallowing-Disorders-in-Children.htm

or maybe some other manifestation of (oral) sensory integratation disorder ??

[cally]

10. Have you considered letting him eat off of your plate

I always found that my kids wouldn't eat their food but loved mine or my husband. If I was in your position, I would serve myself plates of food that are cut up in small pieces. Then I would hold my child on my lap and just let him reach the plate. Be casual and just offer a piece occassionally. He will use his hands and be very messy but he might learn to eat.

One of my kids would not eat if I fed her or if it was finger food. She would only eat if she could feed herself and get very messy. The hard plastic bibs with a pouch on the bottom were very useful.

[MrsMatt]

12. Too much juice?

If he's getting too much juice, his appetite may be suppressed.

Or, he's just early with his toddler negativity (whatever you want, he doesn't and vice versa). Try putting a variety of food in a location where he can reach and snack near his play area and leave him alone for an hour or so - let it be HIS decision to eat what he wants when he wants.

When my nephew was 2 he only weighed 25 pounds, and my daughter was 15 months before she hit 20 pounds (neither were premature, just itty). So don't stress.

[electron_blue]

13. My daughter was also like your son

Esp at that age. Similar weight at 14 months, even. She didn't have any reflux issues, but I was concerned about how little weight she gained and at how she never asked for food. It seemed she would float along merrily w/o asking for food indefinitely.

My daughter was still nursing at that age, however, so I wasn't *too* worried about her nutrition. Still, truthfully I was pretty worried.

In hindsight, I think she was under a lot of pressure to eat "neatly". Could you have issues at your house related to how much mess he makes when eating? My ex used to have a fit when he saw her eat or try to feed himself. A month after I finally booted ex out of the house, she started asking for food by herself. I don't mean to imply you have similar problems, but I'm sharing my experience in case it helps.

Before she started asking to eat, I just added cream and olive oil to whatever food she did eat. Drizzled it on top. It added about 50-100 calories/day which led to half pound - pound weight gain per month for awhile. That seemed to jump start her growth again. We did that at the advice of a pediatric internist & nutritionist.

Another thought - could he have food allergies? Does he have eczema or anything similar?

[abelenkpe]

15. Oh yes...

He is definitely a tidy baby. I don't know where he gets that from though....well, maybe from me.

He sees me painting on large canvases with three or four gooey brushes in my hands and a spray bottle making a big mess...but then I spend an equal amount of time cleaning it all up. He even tries to help me. Maybe that is it! I gotta somehow show him that it is OK to make a mess. Any suggestions?

I don't think he has food allergies, but he does seem to get the sniffles all the time. Of course he is in daycare when I am not off like now, so I pretty much expected him to get several colds for a couple of years.

[abelenkpe]

14. Thank you Everyone!

I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded. My little guy still isn't eating as well as I'd like, but your suggestions have helped. I stopped the juice except at dinner time and he has decided he likes french fries and waffles. Letting him eat off my plate has really helped too.

He doesn't like a mess though which I think may be hindering him. Anytime he touches anything gooey or wet he tries to wipe his hands off and makes this look of extreme displeasure. It's gonna be tough learning to eat and drink on his own if he insists on being so tidy.

When we aren't eating he even takes wipes out of the wipes box and starts cleaning off shelfs and his little stool. He's a funny little guy.

We traveled back east last week to DC to visit my family and he was so easy on the plane and everyone enjoyed meeting him. The doctor gave him a different kind of medication for reflux so hopefully that will also help his appetite improve. If only he will eat better....but he isn't starving so I'll try not to worry so much. Thanks so much for your support and suggestions!

[wildeyed]

16. lol, I wish my kids were tidy eaters!

We just got through the 'rubbing food in your hair' stage with my son. Ack!

Glad your guy is doing better! :)