So the 17 year-old may be pregnant.

[Robb]

I'm feeling wholly ill-equipped to be useful here, so I seek (more) advice.

A little background is in order, I'll try to make it brief:

She and her mom (who had her at 17) moved in with me about a year and change ago. As we speak, the two of them are abroad on a trip together, scheduled for another two weeks.

This morning my girlfriend's mother called me at work, and said she had just talked to her other daughter (who is her own story, history of drug and alcohol abuse). Apparently she told her she had recently spoken with my girlfriend's ex (another nightmare story unto himself), who told her he had provided multiple EPT kits to the 17-year-old, and they had all come back positive.

So my girlfriend's mother is trying to reach the pair, because of course the teenager hasn't said a thing about any of this to her mother or me.

Right now, of course, all I can do is wait and try to steel myself for what could be ahead. There are so many "ifs" about this, and with them out of contact it's proving to be a bit more of a challenge quitting smoking this week than I had planned.

Any broad, sweeping advice I can get would be appreciated. I feel like my relationship with the 17 year-old is pretty solid, and I'm absolutely going to be in this up to my neck -- I'm going to be there, as needed, for everybody.

[wildeyed]

1. I would try not to stress too much until you figure out if this is true

or just gossip from what sound like unreliable people.

If what you are hearing is true and the tests came back positive, she likely is pregnant. You get false negatives with those, but rarely false positives. But she also might have had an early miscarriage or terminated the pregnancy already and didn't want to tell you or her mother. I would just wait for the whole story to come out, then panic if appropriate.

It is nice that you are so concerned. :hug:

[lostnfound]

2. Well...

you could reminisce about how life has thrown you a curve ball or two but it never turned out to be as bad as you expected..

Is it possible she has talked to her mother but asked her not to say anything to you?

As a 17-year old, I remember a distinct feeling that my dad (a great dad, but nonetheless older and male) had no business knowing anything about what was going on with my body.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

3. I'd recommend talking with your girlfriend about it

as soon as possible. Just tell her what you told us...but without the commentary on your GFs ex or her sister. Let your GF handle it; but let her know that you're ready to lend any support they might need.

Regardless of the lack of paperwork, you have a stepfatherly relationship with your GFs daughter. Continue to let her know that you care about her, and remain open to discussing her situation if she wants to talk about it. If she doesn't, don't let it bug you...She can handle herself.