Mother-in-law drafting my youngest child for her fundie church.

[Ilsa]

Actually, it is a main stream church, but IMO, they might as well be fundamentalists because they do not believe in evolution, stem cell research, choice, Gay marriage, homosexuality is a sin, etc. It is a very literal interpretation of the Bible.

I am Presbyterian (PC-USA), but we haven't been much and I haven't taken my kids to Sunday School very much because my oldest is autistic. He doesn't do well in classes unless there is someone there who understands how to work with him and what to watch out for (literally, for his and others' safety).

So my MIL recently joins this church she is excited about and reaffirms her faith after not going for 50+ years. And she wants to take my youngest son, age six, with her. She doesn't really want to take the oldest as they don't have a special program for him.

She's been nagging my husband about it who feels the same way I do about not sending him to a church with such rigid thinking.

Any ideas? So far, we are just letting her blab on and we are ignoring her so we don't get into a fight about it.

[mzteris]

1. Tell her politely,

thanks, but no thanks.

Nicely explain that if she *really* wants your child to go to church, you'd prefer it to be the church of YOUR choice - Presbyterian. That you understand she really likes *her* church, but you aren't comfortable having your child being brought up in a church different from the rest of his family.

[Ilsa]

2. Thanks. At some point when I am with her,

I'll have to be the one to tell her. I don't think my husband is ready to deal with her on this. I hope I can do it without sounding too irritated. I'm still hoping that maybe she'll get the message by our ignoring her request.

I like your rationale about not sending him to a church that believes differently than we do.

[Sabriel]

3. Here's how I handled it

I agreed that she could take our daughter, but that she'd also have to take her to a different place of worship each week, so that our daughter could get exposure to a variety of ways of worshipping and thus be able to decide for herself what fits her spiritual beliefs.

No more requests after that stipulation.

[Ilsa]

4. That's interesting. What a great idea! nt

[MountainLaurel]

6. Awesome approach!

Thank heaven no one on either side of the family is religious in the fundamentalist sense (I'm pagan), so I would never have to deal with this issue if Mr. Laurel and I procreate.

[abelenkpe]

5. I would just continue to ignore her

My mother has recently decided she is catholic again after never going to church once while we were growing up. She takes my sister's kids and has admonished me for not yet having my son baptized. Personally I think she is a hypocrite. Luckily we live far enough away that ignoring her works for us. If you really feel like saying something I would talk to your husband first and agree on a plan of action. Even if you have to be the one to break the news to her a united front is important. I like the idea of saying she needs to take the kids to many different kinds of churches. But at the same time you don't want to give her an opportunity to belittle other faiths to your children outside of your presence. Hopefully she will just be turned off by the idea enough to let it go.

It's good that you are concerned about this. My sister is always so eager to have someone else look after her kids that she would let my parents take them to a kkk (not that they would, of course!) meeting and not even think twice about it.