Am I out of touch?

[AwakeAtLast]

I had a student in class today (1st grade) who was wearing a t-shirt that read: "High School Chicks Rule!"

It had the Abercrombie logo on it. I was fairly shocked by this and wanted a parental view on this shirt. Should I have sent him to the office to call a parent to change the shirt, or do you think it was appropriate? I think the message is wrong on many levels.

Comments?

Thanks in advance! :hi:

[Sabriel]

1. It can't beat the girl in my daughter's class...

She has a pair of hip hugger pants that say CHERRY across the butt. Egad! What kind of caregiver would either buy that or let her wear it? A first grader, for heaven's sake!

[Shine]

3. Now THAT'S just plain ole nasty. I don't approve one bit. Ewww.

:thumbsdown:

[MountainLaurel]

7. What kind of caregiver?

The sort who thinks that catching a man is the goal of a woman's life. These people believe you've got to get them trained early to make themselves attractive to men. This girl will probably start worrying about her weight any day now, wearing heavy makeup by the time she's in the 5th grade, and have the art of flirting down pat by age 12.

[SoCalDem]

8. How about a leopard-print bikini-bra set in a size 4T?

I have boys, so I rarely got shop for little girlie clothes..but one day I went with my friend and was shocked to see the stuff they sold for LITTLE girls..

They even had wigs..:shrug:

[mzteris]

10. flirting by 12?

huh - they'll be WAYYYYYYY beyond flirting by then.

:(

[Shine]

2. Maybe it was referring to his babysitter?

heheheh. OK, probably not.

It seems a bit inappropriate, I suppose...but my very first reaction was to laugh, truthfully.

:hi:

[Chalco]

4. Just my opinion but it was just freedom of speech. There was

nothing angry, violent, openly sexual in the words at all to me.

[mzteris]

11. "CHICKS"

is considered a derogatory sexist term by many people.

[electron_blue]

5. of course it's freedom of speech. It's still inappropriate, imo

You may be interested in an article in today's (sunday 4/25) NYT's magazine section about how sex sells clothing & mentions abercrombie & fitch specifically.

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/magazine/index.html?8dpc

[mzteris]

12. I refuse to buy

A&F; I also refuse to buy anything by Calvin Klein as his ads border on kiddie porn.

I'll be adding the co in the NYT to my NO list.

[SoCalDem]

6. School districts are afraid to institute and enforce dress codes

and it's obvious that lots of parents have no sense of propriety anymore:(.

The solution on so many levels is ....school uniforms..

Lots of people right here at DU attack me when I bring it up, but it's the only sensible way to enforce a dress code.

Uniforms are not necessarily ugly, and it's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying clothes all the time for kids.

Schools that DO have uniforms often have a "trade-up" program as kids outgrow theirs, so it's pretty easy too..

My friend's daughter's school has uniforms and they are really cute, and comfy too. The kids complained at first but now they LOVE them. No more early morning fights about what to wear to school and no more arguments about how she just HAS to have the $80 jeans..

Their "uniform" is very basic.

girls

navy blue skirt or slacks
navy or white cardigan sweater
white/light blue/yellow button front shirts...long or short sleeved...(no sleeveless)


same for boys (except for the skirts)

black shoes...NO ATHLETIC SHOES..except for gym class

They can buy the actual "uniform" or they can create their own as long as they stay with the color scheme..

The class behavior improved, grades went up, and there is less "class conflict" because all the kids look alike now, and until someone's Momma picks them up in a Hummer, there's no way to tell the rich ones from the not-so-rich ones.:)

Kids have plenty of time after school to dress in their "stylish" duds and all weekend to strut their "stuff"...They just changed the school into a place to learn, instead of a place to "hook up" parade their fashion sense.. Of course the stores probably hate it, since Moms & Dads no longer feel obligated to dress up their little "action figures" in the latest fad clothing, but after the initial reaction, the kids actually like it.


When you see the machinations that people go through to get their kids into private schools, it always makes me laugh when I see those same parents fighting dress codes and uniforms at public school. If their little one had gotten into that private school, the first thing they would have had to do was to buy a uniform :)

[Ms. Toad]

9. Not an attack, but a little perspective

As a former teacher at a school with a dress code, I have to disagree.

In the school I taught at (inner city) most teachers ignored the rule. At core, I'm a rule follower, so I tried to enforce the rules even though I disagreed with this particular rule. At least once a day I ended up with a kid in my class late in the day who wasn't following the dress code - and hadn't been following it all day. It took time out of my instruction time to write the pass to send the kid to the office, not argue with the kid abut the reality that s/he felt the need to loudly proclaim that none of his/her other teachers had sent him/her to the office, then settle the class down following the disruption. More often than not, the kid was sent back to my class during the period - causing another disruption - sometimes still with the same dress code violation and with instructions to let him/her stay in class for the day.

All in all, I lost 10-20% of at least one instructional period every day because of a rule I not felt compelled to try to enforce, even though I disagreed with it, and almost no one else was enforcing it.

As a parent I find the same thing in my daughter's high school(suburban/rural). I went with my daughter to her orientation and heard the rules - which include no bare bellies. Violaters are to be sent home, and are to be assigned detention equal or double (don't recall which) to the time they missed going home for acceptable clothing. When I wander through the halls at the school I always encounter at least one bare belly within sight of the principal's office. My strong suspicion is that the dress code is only enforced when it is a convenient excuse to ding some kid who is causing trouble in ways that are less easy to verify.

As a teachers I needed to be able to focus on education, not on whether the children sitting in front of me happened to be wearing a hat, or have pants 4" (legal) from the crease of their knee or 5" (illegal). Part of the reason I'm no longer a teacher was the focus, for show, on superficial things such as having a dress code even if it was rarely enforced (except by rule followers, like me), teaching to the test, and the gross neglect of things that really mattered - like helping to create children who were excited about learning.

[mzteris]

13. a rule not enforced consistently

is not a rule.

The key is for the admin and all the teachers to get behind the program and send home the violators. They'll shape up or get out.

I think uniforms are a great idea. My younger son wears one to his school.

Of course my older homeschooled son thinks going to school in his PJ's is a great idea! :rofl:

[Ms. Toad]

14. At the school in which I taught

There were MUCH more serious problems to worry about enforcing than a dress code (sexual/physical assault, a pregnancy rate of about 10% a year, and drugs for three), problems which enforcing a dress code actually exacerbated at times. The admin, in theory, was behind the dress code, but when a child ended up in the office for a dress code violation at the same time the brawling students (or the student who had assaulted a teacher), the student who wasn't conforming to the dress code added to the difficulty of resolving the other problems and the dress code student needed to be elsewhere (i.e. back in my class still violating the dress code).

The violaters would have loved to take the "get out" option. Half of the classes in which I taught had absences (generally unexcused) ranging from 30-50%. That just meant more disruption, and loss of class time, when they returned and I had to bring them up to speed. I would much rather have had them in class, wearing baggy jeans, hats, and tank tops, than lose the time it took to recover from their absence. Most of the kids in those classes were very bright - but were repeating essentially 5th grade math as 10th-12th graders because they were unable to put in enough class time to pass. If I could keep them in class they were sometimes able to move on to another class that bored them a little less.

In contrast, I subbed in the school my daughter now attends was treated better, as a sub, than I ever was in the district in which I taught for 11 years. I really don't think having (or enforcing) the dress code there would significantly change anything (except perhaps create some rebellion where there currently is very little). According to my daughter, although there are certainly groups who hang out together, the members of those groups are not mean to folks outside their group. For the daughter of two moms, who is out about it, that's saying a lot. Her reports certainly match my observations when I attend school events. In other words, there isn't a problem that needs to be solved - and I see no need to force generally well behaved and respectful kids to "shape up" by imposing conformity in dress. Were I a teacher in her school district, I would still resent the loss of class time that enforcing the dress code would require.

I don't know if there is a middle of the road school in which a dress code might be helpful, from a behavioral standpoint. The reality is certainly is not within my parenting or teaching experience. From a theoretical perspective, imposing uniformity (in dress, political thought, ways to solve math problems, or much of anything else) has always struck me as antithetical to nurturing youth who we desperately need to be self confident in their ability to think and act independently rather than meekly following the currently popular neocon groupthink.

[Kerrytravelers]

15. I wouldn't like it in my classroom.

At the beginning of the school year, in my opening parent letter, I am very clear about what is and isn't appropriate. I have extra big plain grey t-shirts and simple children's belts in my classroom. If you come inappropriate, I put a t-shirt or belt on you. I have never had to use my supplies, but I am prepared if I do.

[SoCalDem]

16. A grade school here "outlawed" tee shirts with ANY words on them

except for the school logo.. That solved the problem..

[Kerrytravelers]

17. That is what we've done as well.

Logos are used by gangs to send messages to one another. So, instead of all of us having to keep up with all the gang lingo, we simple no longer allow them to wear their message boards to school. We had gang-banging parents send their kids to school wearing logos to send a message. Can you imagine?