Religion issues

[RaRa]

Hi everyone. DH and I are members of a pretty liberal church (UCC). We enjoy the sermons, but frankly are agnostic. Are two older kids (4 and 6) went to Sunday school last year. My older (son) didn't like it, but I think that was largely because he was on the cut-off for his age and was bored out of his gourd.

Anyway, the issue is with my 6 year old. He will be in an older class this year and will hopefully like it a little more. If he really hates it, we might just put a halt to it next year. But, he has some provocative questions about God and such and I feel like a hypocrite no matter what I do. Not going to church but celebrating Easter and Christmas, or forcing him to go to church when I don't really believe 100% either? It's mainly the tradition I'd like to extend to him and the dose of Santa Claus (i.e. having God to believe in etc). He's so wrapped up in Power Rangers and Superheros that God and the Bible is just plain too dull and abstract. I guess if he were a little older, I wouldn't care, but I'm not ready to turn him into an atheist yet either. His sister seems more accommodating to it all. So I need some consistency on this matter.

Not an earth shattering issue, but I'm so apathetic about religion, that I don't know what direction to take.

Any thoughts?

[wildeyed]

1. My kids have been asking questions about God and Death recently.

:scared:

I am not a non-believer, exactly, but I follow no religious ideology either. It is hard to know what to tell them since my concept of God is so abstract. I have reserved a number of books at the library that supposedly address the topics in a way that is appropriate for young children.

My daughter, who is also six, is trying to figure out what religion we are. We celebrate Easter and Christmas, go to the pool at the Jewish Community Center, occasionally attend Unitarian services and meditate and chant in yogic traditions. So I can see how she would be confused. I told her the truth. We are secular Christians who celebrate the holidays more for cultural than religious reasons. When she is older, she may wish to embrace a particular religion and that is fine with me.

As far as the Sunday school, your son might like it better next year when he is with older kids. I think having an understanding of Christianity, even if you don't believe 100% is a good idea from an intellectual standpoint. So much of Western culture refers to the Bible, it puts you at a disadvantage if you don't understand. Also, it is good for kids to have a social group outside of school. Even if they are not popular at school, they will still have peers they can spend time with and relate to. Kind of a back-up plan.

If he continues to hate it, you might consider letting him quit. My husband was forced to go to church and despises it to this day.

[qb]

2. Just answer their questions honestly.

I am an atheist. When my kids asked me about God I told them he is an invisible man some people believe in but I do not. I have always taught them to respect the beliefs of others. For a while my son proudly said he believed in God (I think he was trying to push my buttons). I said that is fine... you can believe what you like. At age 7 out of the blue he said he would have to have proof in order to believe in God. My daughter has been a proud atheist since age 5. They are also two of the most compassionate, thoughtful children I know.

We also celebrate Easter and Christmas. My son recently asked why we celebrate Christmas if we're not Christians. I told him for us it is just a fun tradition.

My 2 cents: let them decide if Sunday school is for them. If they ask you what you believe, tell them you're undecided. They'll get it, and you won't feel like a hypocrite.

[tigereye]

3. my son has decided he doesn't believe in God

partially I think because we do not attend a church. Although we talk to him about God, spirit and religion, he seems to have taken the rationalist approach I suspect some tweens take - how can there be a God if it can't be proved, etc. Many of his school friends are Jewish, his dad is more of a Zen Buddhist, and I'm an ex-Catholic who would probably be more likely to choose the Quakers or the Unitarians if I had to pick a church to attend.

I'm not quite sure how to approach this yet, I have told him before that when he gets to this age, he can pick a religious practice that makes sense to him, and we'll have to see if he goes for that, after visiting some different churches.

[qb]

4. Good for him. Why do you think you have to approach this?

It sounds like you have given him lots of information to consider and he has chosen his way. I am sure this is difficult for a believer to accept, but I suggest you respect his decision. He may change his mind at some time in the future, but I don't think trying to influence him at this point will be good your relationship.

[mrgorth]

5. No offense but

why in the hell would you take them to church when you're agnostic? I consider myself a progressive Christian but would rather take the kids to a park, make a big b'fast or go on a hike. These are all good wholesome family activities that they will love. You know, church kinda sucks.

[tigereye]

6. I don't think all churches suck

my son attended a bar mitzvah recently and I was struck by the wonderful community/moral aspects of Judaism and the importance of adolescents connecting with their community in a spiritual way, a way that benefits and grounds them, as well as their typical and spiritual community.

I really think some of this grounding/ or at least exposure to it, is important in the spiritual/humanistic development of the young...

[BklynChick]

7. my husband and I are both atheists, and we don't practice any form of organized

religion but fully celebrate all holidays as non-secular. we've talked extensively with our 6yo about god and we explain what people think god is and when she asks, we say we don't believe in god. we tend to keep it simple. i wouldn't force him to go to Sunday school especially given your ambivalence about religion. Celebrating holidays in a non-secular way is not hypocritical.