I'm pretty sure my daughter is overweight.

[OnionPatch]

She's seven and has never been thin, but now I think she's probably officially overweight. Not obese at all, just chunky-overweight. I never said anything to her about it other than just talking about eating healthfully and she doesn't seem to think anything about it. Which is sorta good, because I don't want her getting a bad self-image or some sort of eating disorders.

There are a few reasons she is overweight, I think; She's an only child with no neighbor children to play with. We, her parents, are older, both 48, and aren't as active as we used to be, so we aren't setting a good example or doing enough physical activities together. I have several health problems that keep me from participating in a lot of physical activities, so I have a few extra pounds, too, recently. Her dad has always been just a tad chubby. Now, here we are, a family of three, slightly overweight people. I don't want this for us and especially for my daughter and am ready to make whatever changes I need to make, but I'm nervous that if I make an issue out of this, she will develop eating problems. I would love some advice on how to approach the subject.

I have tried to make some changes, including getting her in gymnastics and swimming classes. So far we've had a pretty lasse-faire style of eating around here and she's gotten into the habit of grabbing snacks and food whenever she feels like it. I could use some advice on how to set limits in the kitchen without being too rigid or making eating into a big issue. As far as the quality of food, we usually have the best, most healthful. Just too much, I guess.

[wildeyed]

1. I am not sure what your disabilities are, but if possible, it is nice to do activities as a family.

We have a flat water kayak that we take out regularly.

Lots of families enjoy biking together. If you are lucky, there will be a greenway nearby so you don't have to deal with traffic.

It costs next to nothing to get started on easy day hikes. Get a field guide and a magnifying glass and learn about science and nature while you are out there.

Swimming is great. My kids will go down the water slide for hours if I have the patience to watch. I usually have a few turns myself, just for grins :)

My friend, who has a similar problem with her oldest, bought a backyard trampoline to encourage more movement. There are some safely issues with that, so be sure you are ok with the risks. But her kids use it, although they are quite a few kids in the neighborhood who play on it, too.

I am interested in geocaching right now. People hide little treasures and post there locations online. Using a GPS, you find the treasures with your kids and swap them out with some of your own. Great way to get out in nature and moving around without making a big deal of it. http://www.geocaching.com/about/

As far as food goes, I don't let my kids snack if they are not eating their regular meals. You can control what is served and portion size, at least to some degree, if most eating is done at mealtime. Whether this is true for you or not, I would set some boundaries around snacking, but not focus on the caloric reasons, more on the importance of eating regular meals and eating together as a family. I would also get rid of any highly processed food with unnatural ingredients including and especially fast food, although it sounds like you have already done that.

Another little food trick. I cut up fresh fruit or veggies before and give it to my kids before the main meal is served. That way they fill up on the healthy, lo-cal stuff, instead of the rice or mashed taters.

I think the best way is to focus on health, not weight. Girls are pressured to conform to so many inappropriate societal norms already. I don't want to increase that pressure by telling my daughter that there is something wrong with how her body looks. My message is always that her body is beautiful and perfect (which it is) and that we must take good care of it by eating healthy foods, regular exercise, proper dental hygiene, regular check-ups, etc.

[OnionPatch]

2. My husband is buying a canoe from a friend.

That should be fun. And we do have lots of access to great hiking, biking, etc. We are lucky in that way. We used to backpack and day hike all the time. The main obstacles lately have been my foot problem and that we both work full-time, so mostly these are things we can only do on the weekend except in the spring and fall when there's enough daylight left by the time we get home and it isn't broiling hot outside. Luckily, there has been swimming lessons all summer. My foot's been getting better, so I'm ready to do more outside stuff once the temperatures are down some. (It regularly goes up to 100 here in the summer, and it's nearly always at least in the nineties.) I'm a geographer by profession and always wanted to try geo-caching. Thanks for the link. I think that would be fun and educational, too.

I guess the real problem, then, has been the food rules. Basically, we have none except no goodies before supper. But I like your rule about no snacks unless meals are eaten. Also, good idea on the veggie snacks before dinner. I can see that I've been really wimpy about setting limits. I've been so worried about eating disorders that I've been afraid to make any issues about food but you're right that I could emphasize the healthy part of it, and not even mention weight. I need to implement a whole new set of rules.

[MrsMatt]

3. My strategies are to stock up on healthy snacks

fruit, dried fruit, low fat yoghurt, etc. The kids can choose their snack before dinner.

Chips and cookies are an occasional treat. We're not big soda drinkers, and rarely purchase it, so the kids don't really care for it.

We also have a "screen free" policy - two days a week, no tv, no computer (except at school or work for us), no video games. During those days, we all have to make our own fun, or we do family activities. In the summer we set up the badminton net and it's used about three nights a week.

Our daughter was an only child until age 8 (she's now 11) and we've never had much of an issue of her eating inappropriately. My 3 year old son is a different story - I may end up investing in a small fridge for him, and allow him access to snacks in a controlled fashion.

Good luck - just keep your daughter moving and limit the sugar!

[elleng]

4. I agree, re: healthy snacks.

And NO sodas.

My 'kids' are now 19 and 23 year old 'girls,' and we only had soda around for parties. Juices, yes.


Good luck!