Need suggestions for my daughter to take her schoolwork seriously

[TuxedoKat]

I hope some people will be able to help. My daughter is not doing well with her schoolwork. She does her homework but doesn't seem to make much effort to really learn it while she is doing it or do a good job at it either. This week she had a history test but neglected to bring her textbook home to review for it. We had to go borrow one from a friend. It is like she doesn't want to make the effort to learn the info. She doesn't have any learning disabilities, just more interested in socializing than doing her work. I have some ideas of what to do, but was hoping some others might be able to help.

[seabeyond]

1. ya know. i conclude that is the norm and the child that takes the initiative is the unusual

my kids have a real easy time in school. so they easily pull A's without studying. it has been a thorn in the side. as they go into later years they will need to study and not have the skill or initiative to study.

youngest makes good grades on spelling test, yet still, every friday i drill him. if i know of any take home projects i peruse it and demand more of them. more than is expected in the class and then discuss the going beyond theory. when they receive the rewards we discuss that.

i have also found that though as a parent i had to stay on the kids, watching grades, and assignments and following class, about 7th grade my oldest started taking his own initiative in grades. getting homework done, paying attention to the grades. for a couple years it was letting him do and me still be aware. by freshman year he values what grades he gets, the courses he takes for his future in college. so i have been able to let him go and do, with just a little monitoring

i am starting to allow the 6th grader the same responsibility.

we are a very academic household. that helps. we read lots. i have four magazines come to the home. i expect kids to be informed. adn we talk often, about indepth subjects.

they also have one side of the family highly educated and very competitive. there is good and bad in that. the expectation is further education.

good luck to you

that is a hard one.

[elleng]

2. One of my daughters' teachers or schools said

a good way to teach youngsters is to allow them to live with/suffer from their own decisions. Its a hard one, but it tends to work.

[redqueen]

3. Is she making good grades anyway?

If she's not, I might try offering rewards for good grades, and see if that motivates her to try harder.

If she is, then I don't know what to tell you.

[MajorChode]

4. I find that acting crazy and waving a gun around often helps

Seriesly though, it's just a matter of behavior modification which is nothing more than the carrot and stick approach. My daughter likes to save up money to buy the things she wants so I actually pay her for good grades. That works very well for her. You also have to be very involved in their schoolwork. If you aren't interested in what they are doing, chances are they won't be either. You have to know the status of their studies on a constant basis. This may involve interaction with her teachers (most offer their email address to parents). If you wait until grade reports come out, it's often too late.

My daughter loves to socialize also, which is quite important, but she has to learn that there's a time and place for everything. Once her work is done she can socialize all she wants. If she doesn't get it done by Friday, we spend several hours on the weekend working on it together. I also demand that my daughter finish ALL assignments. If she misses one I have her do it anyway, even if turning it in late means getting a zero.

[mzteris]

5. how's your daughter doing?

Any improvement?

[uncommon]

6. When my daughter gets lazy about school (she is above average in every subject and often

just gets bored with the work), I offer a reward for going above and beyond. Not for just doing the work, but for really putting her full effort into it.

She is still really young (1st grade) but it works and I hope it continues to work. So far she has burned through most of the year's on-sight vocab knowing that if she finishes it, there is a prize at the end of the line.

I put a dollar amount on what she can get but let her choose - nothing too big, just enough incentive to get her excited.

After all, excelling in school is supposed to be a precursor to excelling in life, which carries the reward of getting the things (tangible or otherwise) that you want.

[tigereye]

7. hah, a little bit of that going on around here at my son's new high school

I think he was used to not having to put in a lot of effort to do well, and that is not true at his new prep-type school. Socializing isn't his problem, although lack of focus may be.


I think at times like these we have to set strong limits for study and insist that they sit down and take the time to focus, complete, remember work materials and spend more time studying, or there will be consequences such as loss of Ipod time (at my house)


best of luck to you :D