Parenting Books---Which ones are the best/worst?

[OnionPatch]

When my daughter was newborn, I read Dr. Sears Baby book and really liked it. I'm thinking about reading some more of his stuff. I also read Your Baby and Child by Penelope Leach. Also good.

Now that she's 4 and past the baby stage, I need to read up again. Any suggestions? My neighbor lent me some books and when I got them home, I found out they were by James Dobson :puke: I leafed through them out of curiosity and was horrified at the aggressive, controlling methods he recommends. But it reminds me that books on child raising can be very different, and one needs to be careful who's advice they take.

I can think of no other group of people I'd rather get advice on parenting books from than you, my fellow liberals. So bring it on....tell me your favorite parenting books and what you like about them.

[LeftyMom]

1. My list

I like Dr Sears for the most part as his approach is gentle but he's a bit too mainstream in some respects (vaccination, diet) for me to fully reccomend all his books.

My favorites are Mothering Magazine's books, How To Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of you Doctor by Dr Robert Mendelson and The Hip Mama Guide to Parenting by Ariel Gore (with the caveat that the section on diapering blows.)

I have yet to see a book in the LLL catalog I don't like, so I think that's a good place to look for ideas.

My favorite book for disciplinary strategies is Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinca. (I may have misspelled her name.)

[mrgorth]

4. I'll check the Kurcinca book out

THANKS!

[fortyfeetunder]

2. Confirmation Dobson is missing a few...

http://shop.cwfa.org/cwfa/item_0842336222.htm&ct=Chapter_Excerpt


<<At eleven o'clock that night, I told Siggie to go get into his bed, which was a permanent enclosure in the family room. For six years, I had given him that order at the end of each day, and for six years Siggie had obeyed. On that occasion, however, he refused to budge. He was in the bathroom, seated comfortably on the furry lid of the toilet seat. That was his favorite spot in the house, because it allowed him to bask in the warmth of a nearby electric heater.....

On the night of our great battle, I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed. Instead, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me. He braced himself by placing one paw on the edge of the furry lid, then hunched his shoulders, raised his lips to reveal the molars on both sides, and uttered his most threatening growl. That was Siggie's way of saying, "Get lost!"

I had seen this defiant mood before and knew that I had to deal with it. The only way to make Siggie obey was to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else worked. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me "reason" with 'ol Sig. My wife, who was watching this drama unfold, told me that as soon as I left the room, Siggie jumped from his perch and looked down the hall to see where I had gone. Then he got behind her and growled.

When I returned, I held up the belt and again told the angry dog to get into his bed. He stood his ground so I gave him a firm swat across the rear end, and he tried to bite the belt. I popped him again and he tried to bite me. What developed next is impossible to describe. That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling. I am still embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed. As a final desperate maneuver, Siggie jumped on the couch and backed into the corner for one last snarling stand. I eventually got him into his bed, but only because I outweighed him two hundred to twelve! >>

And this is what he does to a 12 lb dachshund...I wouldn't trust him with my kids

[OnionPatch]

7. Ewww!!!

No wonder the dog hated him! Disgusting.

The weirdest thing is that I had never heard of James Dobson before I got the books. I glanced at his picture on the back cover and it sent a chill up my spine. He just looked freakin' creepy to me though I had no idea who he was. I said to my husband, "Does this guy look like some kind of right-wing weirdo, or what?" Boy did I ever hit the nail on the head!

[mrgorth]

3. My wife reads all the "What to Expect" books

and seems happy with them.

[AlCzervik]

6. I had them all as well and they are really helpful.

[SCDem]

11. The What to Expect the First Year book is not the best for

breastfeeding mothers though. I think it places unreal expectations on how the child should sleep through the night. My mom got in slight arguments about how my son should be sleeping through the night because the book said so.... and that book does say so ... so I bought Dr Sears' book and said that this book does not say so! End of discussion!

[soleft]

5. One that I read that I found enormously helpful was

Who's in Control by Dr. Lawrence Balter

He's a child psychologist at NYU who I found out after I had the book, lived in my building. I just found his advise to be really sound, common sense and it stuck with me.

[OnionPatch]

8. Thanks for the good suggestions

I had never heard of most of these. I need the one about the "spirited child" for sure. :o

[Dulcinea]

9. Would anyone like a free copy of....

"What to Expect the First Year?"

My kids are past that stage & I don't need it anymore. It's pretty dog-eared, but quite readable.

[OnionPatch]

12. Thanks so much for the offer

but my daughter is four now, and I did read that book. I forgot to mention in the first post that along with the books I own, I have also read a lot of books about pregnancy and babies from the library. That was one of them. Very informative. Nice of you to offer.

[Killarney]

10. I like Dr. Sears books.

I read his The Baby Book and The Discipline Book and the Breastfeeding Book.

The What to Expect books are handy if your child is sick and you want to look something up. I didn't like the What to Expect When You're Expecting, though, because it made me feel that if I didn't eat my brussel sprouts that day my child would be stupid and inferior. That book gave me a lot of guilt.

When I was pregnant I loved the Your Pregnancy Week by Week book and during the first year and I love their Your Baby Week by Week book.

[Pithlet]

13. I didn't like What to Expect

for the same reasons. I love Your Pregnancy Week by Week. It was fun to look at each week and see how the baby looked, and what to expect at that point.

[LeftyMom]

14. I didn't like WTEWYE either

I didn't mind the emphasis on healthy food but I thought it really overemphasized the importance of conventinal medicine approaches and minimized thier risks. I think I'd have asked my care providers more questions and been more proactive in my care if I had read a different book instead.

[gollygee]

16. I'm another who doesn't like the What to Expect series

for a couple of reasons.

First, the books have misinformation about breastfeeding and medical recommendations. Here's a review from a pro-breastfeeding site.

Secondly, I think they'd be better named "What to worry about . . ." than "What to expect" as they seem to talk a lot about worst-case scenarios.

[rob-ok-vin]

15. Buddha Never Raised Kids & Jesus Didn`t Drive Carpool

This is one I've been reading that has some very good info. The author is Vicki Falcone.
Another that is really good is Raising Children Compassionately. This little book written by Marshall B. Rosenberg applies the principles set out in his book, Nonviolent Communication (A Lanuage of Life), to parenting.
I hope these work for you