Memo to Pets and Visitors-Cute EM for Critter Lovers

[hangemhigh]

>
> Dear Dogs and Cats,
>
> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
> The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
> paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for
> it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
> pleasing in the slightest.
>
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
> because I fall faster than you can run.
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very
> sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
> ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
> they sleep. It is not necessary to sleepperpendicular to each other
> stretched out to thefullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
> tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
> maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
>
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
> If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
> is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
> paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through
> the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for
> years-canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
>
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
> butt. I cannot stress this enough!
>
> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message
> on our front door:
>
> Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our
> Pets:
>
> 1. They live here. You don't.
>
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
> furniture (That's why they call it "fur"niture).
>
> 3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
>
> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
> son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak
> clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask
> for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called,
> never drive your car, don't hangout with drug-using friends, don't smoke
> or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't
> wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and
> if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

[livetohike]

1. Thanks for the laugh

:-)

[Eurobabe]

2. cute, copied and sent to all pet-loving friends!

[Rhiannon12866]

3. Thanks, LOL! This was great!

I'm going to pass this on, as well!:D