I guess it's time. Beaucephus 3/14/1994 - 5/16/2008

[lukasahero]

I had to put my beloved boy Beau down on 5/16. I have not been dealing with it well and in fact, have not been able to post this until now. Just this morning I had a dream that he was at my front door and, after letting him in, I came "running back" (to consciousness?) crying "maybe he really did come back!" Needless to say, when I woke up and remembered he was still really gone, I spent another morning in tears.

My Beau was special needs from the time he was 3 years old when he had his first epileptic seizure. It kind of changes the dynamic when your 110 pound "protector" writhes helplessly in your arms.

But he was an exceptional dog, even for a Lab. Gentle, mellow, affectionate. His best friend in the whole world was my cat Frodo and Beau was simply baffled when the new cat we brought in to the house years later (Theo) didn't want to play. Beau finally even won over Theo though just like he won over everyone. The FedEx and UPS folks used to leave him biscuits on the packages they delivered to our door at Christmas time.

Beau had a long and wonderful life. He was exceptionally loved and loved exceptionally in return. He really was my angel and I can barely breathe without him.

Baby Beau


Beau and Frodo


My sage, my angel


"I believe in Rainbow Bridge. I will find you."

[malta blue]

1. Beau will always be in your heart...

You will be together again at the bridge. :hug::cry::hug:

[lukasahero]

6. Thanks malta blue,

I know you understand. :hug:

[hobbit709]

2. He'll be waiting for you.

So sorry.

[lukasahero]

7. Thanks.

There's a little poem out there about memories that's been sticking with me and I'm hoping I can get to appreciating the last stanza someday soon. Right now, I kind of get stuck in the first one:

"They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again."

BTW - "hobbit709", I assume you took note of my little cat's name: Frodo. He came from the shelter with that name and it was simply perfect. I miss that little angel too. What a pair those boys made. :)

[kdmorris]

3. I'm so sorry for your loss

What a beauty he was! He'll always be in your heart.

I had to have my best friend put to sleep about 11 years ago. She was my best friend from the time I was 9 until I was 27. She was blind, going deaf, had lost some teeth and was nearly crippled with arthritis.

And I miss her still, though I've found another cat to love.

[lukasahero]

8. Thank you so much :hug:

He was my beauty.

I've been contemplating adopting a senior Lab but I really don't think we're ready yet. I think I will focus on Sr./Special needs Labs though - my boy taught me a lot and I know how hard it will be for those guys to get adopted. They're the best ones in the world though - they seem to appreciate just "being" in their advanced age.

You had your best friend a long, long time. You really did literally grow up with her. I told my husband last night that so much of what I've done in the last 14 years I did because I had Beau. He made me grow up but he also gave me wings.

[livetohike]

4. I'm so sorry for your loss

:hug: and I'm crying with you. I hope all the good memories you have of Beau will help ease the sadness. I still have dreams of all the dogs I've had through the years. I welcome those dreams as my reality of connecting with them again. You gave Beau many good years of care and love and soon you'll smile when you think of him. :hug:

[lukasahero]

9. Thank you so much

I've always been visited in my dreams by my animals friends who have passed. Once I get past hoping that the dream will continue when I wake, I'll know I'm finally healing. Then, maybe I can just enjoy his company for the short time I dream.

Finally writing about him is helping. (Wish I knew what I did to piss people off around here though - I must be on a lot of ignore lists - and I wasn't even active in GD:p! ;) ) Thanks for listening. It helps.

[japple]

5. Dear Lukasahero, thank you for posting the beautiful

pictures of your dear dog, Beau and his kitty, Frodo. They will both be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge, and they were very lucky in this lifetime to have you for a human companion. May you find peace and comfort in your sweet memories of these very special pets.

[lukasahero]

10. Thank you japple

There will be a few 4-legged friends I hope to find at Rainbow Bridge but Beau, Beau was special. A friend described him to me once saying "he saw you come around the corner and all of a sudden it was a hundred pounds of love heading directly for you."

I know what that day at Rainbow Bridge will look like. It's a memory in advance. (There isn't really an icon for a bittersweet smile but I wish there was. )

[alstephenson]

11. I am so sorry for your loss of Beau.

What a precious boy.

[lukasahero]

16. Thank you

He sure was precious to me.

[Tammie]

12. So sorry for your loss

Beau looked to be a magnificent boy.....how your heart must be aching. Keep the memories of him close to your heart and he will never be far away til you meet again. Rest in peace sweet Beau.

[lukasahero]

17. Thanks - he was a pretty boy

And he stayed around long enough for me to acquire quite a collection of memories. I've been writing them down. He gave me a lifetime of laughs. :)

[spooky3]

13. I'm very sorry about Beau. Remember that he will live in your heart forever.

[lukasahero]

18. Hi spooky3

Thanks. I'm so afraid of forgetting. I know I have to let go and move on but it feels like forgetting... I keep wishing I'd taken more pictures, more videos, paid more attention... But I do know he will never really leave me. Thanks for the reminder.

[Duppers]

14. my heart goes out to you

I DO know what you're going through. I'm so very, very sorry.

Beaucephus had a long life and a wonderful mom!

He looks very much like my big yellow Lab, Duppers-girl, who died 25 yrs. ago. I still break down in tears when I think of her.

We've had to put our dear comical Border Collie down just last Aug. but her death, although VERY difficult, did not hurt like losing Duppers. (In some ways I dishonor Duppers' name by using it as my handle, because she was a better person than I, seriously.)

I glad you found my post of the youtube videos of the Labs. I cannot put into words what the bred means to me. I have a framed photo of Duppers sitting on my desk and my heart skips a beat every time I see one on the street or at the park.

After some grieving time, I hope you can find another Lab to honor Beau's memory.
My hubby and I eventually plan to.
(Btw, DUer 'MiniMe' is a volunteer with a Lab rescue in the DC area. I thought about adopting two girls next time around.)

Sending you healing hugs,
duppers

:hug:

[lukasahero]

20. Thank you so much, Duppers

I'm not sure it's comforting or not to think I'll still be grieving for Beau in 25 years. :)

My husband says I've never met a dog I didn't love but in 45 years, I've never had a dog like Beau. He wasn't the smartest kid on the block but he was the kindest, gentlest, goofy doofus you could imagine. He was always so happy to just be included and even when his life got difficult, he was such a trooper.

Of course, in time, we will get another dog. Our family is incomplete. Thank you for writing. This has been cathartic. (And it's comforting to know I'm not really going 'round the bend here. :hug: )

[JeffR]

15. A magnificent looking dog

and obviously a magnificent friend.

Condolences on a huge loss.

[lukasahero]

19. Thank you for the kind words

I'm sure it sounds silly to many people so thank you for "getting" it.

[JeffR]

21. Dog lovers get it.

The friendship and love between dog and human are profound things,and the loss is awful to bear. Hang in there.