Help!! Can this Doggy Marriage be saved??

[Sparkly]

Stinky and I have a border collie mix and a German shepherd dog, "inherited" from his sons when they each couldn't take care of their respective dogs.

I ALWAYS wanted a little tiny dog, though. Finally the time seemed right and we went to the local shelter to see a Pomeranian.

This is a bigger Pomeranian, so must be a mix. He's 15 pounds, 10 months old, and sweet as can be -- loves everyone he meets, human or dog. We brought our two big dogs over to the shelter to meet on neutral territory, took the three for a walk, and it didn't go too badly.

He's such a darling little guy, with a loving disposition, we decided to give it a go and adopt him.

Eight hours later: Our border collie is freaking. She's an older girl (around 10 we think), about 70 pounds, and the definite alpha. She's very maternal toward cats and toys (which she treats like babies) but this dog pisses her off. When he gets close to her, she bares her teeth, and at least four times now she's lunged and bitten at him. Not good.

The German shepherd, meanwhile -- a very tall 90 pounds -- is just wondering where her place is! She's fine with the little one, just nervous about the big one, it seems. (She looks fearsome and has a big bark, but she's actually pretty timid.)

We wanted to keep the little one down on the floor with the big ones so it wouldn't seem so preferential that our current dogs would feel resentful, and gave lots and lots of praise to the big dogs whenever they were nice or even tolerant of the new one, but I soon found myself having to sweep the little one up and hold him above them, sitting with him on my lap, etc... I'm sure that only makes things worse.

The border collie doesn't like excitement in other dogs, it seems. When the German shepherd gets super excited upon our return home, she'll nip at her! In fact, she even bit her once tonight -- I tossed a little toy we got for the new one, the big one started to run after it along with him, and the border collie went after the big one! I thought maybe it was a good sign she was being protective of the new one, but no... If the new one runs, she runs and nips him. If they're barking at somebody outside and he joins in, she goes at him. He was just on the floor face to face with her, as I had a hand on each of them petting and praising, and she lunged at him, biting him...

I love the little guy, but don't want him to get hurt!! Any tips for reassuring the old alpha border collie? Should we give it more time? Or is it just too dangerous for the cutie pie little doggie-woggie who I'd hate to give back?

Is she feeling insecure that she's getting older? Is it just not going to work to introduce a new dog (or at least a fairly confident one -- this guy doesn't seem to have a realistic idea of his little size)?

Thanks for any advice. :(

[MiniMe]

1. Border Collies are herding dogs

And the way the here is to nip at the heels of whatever they are herding. It's very possible that the extra commotion of the new dog is bringing out her herding instinct.

[Sparkly]

2. Possibly

She doesn't like "out of control" kinds of behaviors from other dogs. Every now and then, we've also seen her be a total "bitch," unprovoked.

In this case, the little guy was just sitting facing her, about a foot between their noses, I was petting them both and speaking reassuringly, and she just attacked.

I'm thinking of the Dog Whisperer's idea that aggression is based in insecurity, and we wonder if she may be insecure about losing her alpha status as she's aging...??

However, I can't imagine why she'd feel threatened by this little guy!! Especially when we've been so praising of her..

She's also eaten four bowls of his food... Don't know if that's about dominance, or just a new flavor, but she's now expelling deadly farts. :nuke:

[Sparkly]

3. Photos

Here's little "Spike:"



Miss Alpha finally decided he might be tolerable:



The Big Baby goes along with whatever, and just wants things in order. The three make quite a pack:



So things went better today. Alpha gently asserted herself, and Spike now realizes he's got a place, and it's not "boss." Alpha is reassured. Big Baby is being a baby, but doing okay.

Spike is a bit of a brat. I think he was badly raised by his original family, and they gave him up because he's difficult as a result. But he's made huge progress in 24 hours.

I'm feeling a bit of "buyer's remorse," though -- is this normal? A lot of it is that I did intend to get a teeny tiny eentsie weensie barely-there dog. I promised myself and Stinky that we wouldn't get the first dog we saw. We saw him and he was sooo cute, happy and healthy. We did go to see another dog I was interested in afterwards, who's still a puppy, and decided we didn't want to go through the baby gates, house-training, etc.

This guy's almost as much trouble... He's not as small as I'd have liked.... but I know it's not like taking a t-shirt back to Kohl's. (It is about at the point where everyone else is saying, "You wanted him, YOU go stand out in the rain with him!" Not quite, but close to it.)

I guess I want reassurance that I haven't made a mistake...? (Plus any and all reasons why a teensy dog would not have been such a good idea?)

[MiniMe]

4. Yes, it is normal

And pack order has prevailed. I have a golden retriever, and when I am fostering a bunch of pups, he is not happy. But he is a good daddy, and when they jump on him, he just growls at them and they listen to him. If they don't, they may get a woof too if they are really bad, but he is good at teaching them doggy manners. I'm getting a litter of 3 week olds later this week, he won't have to deal with them for a while, just with Mom. He is a really good boy, and good with other dogs even dogs sharing his house. Poor boy, he has been really patient considering all the pups I have had this summer.

We get in rescues all the time because people don't train their dogs, and when they come in they are crazy dogs. Once they start settling in and figure out the routine and their place, it works. And I often say I don't want to foster this dog to myself, but I wait for a few days and it gets better. I had one foster who could open the crate, and then went countersurfing, she got several loafs of bread, and she would eat bars of soap. Drove me crazy until I found a way to keep her from unlocking the crate door. Then I figured out that the microwave was a good place to store any food items, and closed the bathroom doors, and it worked out. She got adopted and they love her, but I told the people all the tricks I had learned while fostering her. They love her, and she is doing well. But I thought all of those things when I first got her. Any dog you take in at this point will take time to work it out, it sounds like you are well on you way.

[BrklynLiberal]

5. You have a fantastic pack there.....

[Stinky The Clown]

7. Sadly, the pack is again one smaller .....

See below.

He was a holy terror. He made the GSD cower and tuck her tail. But that just seemed to increase the resolve of the BC, who has always been protective of the GSD.

[Stinky The Clown]

6. Sad to report, but the little guy had to go back to the shelter for his own safety

He was starting to settle in and starting to understand that the BC was the alpha. Until he challenged her one time too many. We didn't see what happened, but we heard it. Tiny Guy was challenging the BC and barking, charging and backing off. She was eating. Next thing we hear, he's yelping and crying, and cornered. We told the BC to back off and she did, immediately. He cowered and favored his side and would not let us touch him.

A few minutes later and he was calm and not hurting anymore, so clearly he was okay. Then it all started again. He challenged her, she growled. He backed off then challenged again, She growled louder and more threatening. She went to cob him and he snapped. We stopped it all and decided this wasn't going to work.

In truth, they probably would have worked it out, but at what price? The BC is really a great dog and actually very protective of her pack, but she won't back down for a grizzly let alone a 14 pound fluff ball. The little dog just seemed more fragile, relatively speaking, than we wanted to worry about. The scrapping, while maybe normal, was too much and so, for his own good, he's back.

He's a cute, lovey guy. He will surely get adopted this coming Saturday when, as always, they have adoption day.

Be well, Spike!

[BrklynLiberal]

8. awww...I am sure youa re right. He will find a good home soon..and the peace in your place is

restored. Sometimes the balance is the important thing...and if someone interferes with it...they have to find another place where they fit in better.

I am sure you gave it a fighting chance, and your decision is the one that is best for your pack...as well as for Spike.