What We Can't Explain at the End of Life: Who and What You See Before You Die

[I Have A Dream]

When a loved one is dying, chances are he's experiencing more than pain and suffering. Grief expert David Kessler offers insight into what your family member is going through—whether you can understand it or not.

Throughout my years of working with the dying and the bereaved, I have noticed commonly shared experiences that remain beyond our ability to explain and fully understand. The first are visions. As the dying see less of this world, some people appear to begin looking into the world to come. It's not unusual for the dying to have visions, often of someone who has already passed on. Your loved one may tell you that his deceased father visited him last night, or your loved one might speak to his mom as if she were there in the room at that time.

It was almost 15 years ago that I was sitting at the bedside of my teacher, Elisabeth Kübler Ross', when she turned to me and asked, "What do you think about the deceased visiting those on their deathbeds to greet them?" I replied quickly, showing my knowledge back to her: "You're speaking of deathbed visions, most likely caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain or a side effect of morphine." She looked at me and sighed, "It will come with maturity."

I thought to myself: "Maturity? What did maturity have to do with anything?" Now, years later, I look at the events we still can't explain that happen at the end of life and realize what Elisabeth was saying. It would be arrogant to think we can explain everything, especially when it comes to dying. My mother died when I was still a preteen. My father remained an incredible optimist his whole life, even when he was dying. I was busy trying to make sure he was comfortable and pain-free, and at first didn't notice he had become very sad. He told me how much he was going to miss me once he was gone. And then he mentioned how much he was saying goodbye to: his loved ones, his favorite foods, the sky, the outdoors and a million other things of this world. He was overcome by sadness I could not (and would not) take away from him.

(continued below)
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Who-and-What-You-See-Before-You-Die

[mysticalchick]

1. Good article, IHAD!

Having studied the death and dying process from an esoteric standpoint when I was at the Seminary, this rang true for me. There is just so much we don't know and can barely wrap our heads around - almost nothing would surprise me.

Personally, I'm excited to know that I'll see my loved ones who've passed over already when my time comes. :)

[sybster1000]

2. Near death experiences

As a nurse who works in the OR, I have heard patients' stories of being revived. They have always been very peaceful. One old farmer who was a crusty, old country guy told me a story about floating upward in what seemed to be golden oil. He looked down and saw them working on his body. He explained the resuscitation equipment, etc that there was no way he could have understood. He was floating peacefully upward toward a light and then felt a "yank" on his body and was suddenly back in the ER. Others have seen past loved ones..but I'll end it here.

[FirstLight]

3. I have a lot of stuff to deal with regarding death

My first experiences were losing 2 important people in my life when I was 13 and really never reconciling those losses.

as my folks get older the thought of losing my mom is gut wrenching, and my dad is losing his faculties but there is resentment that he will live longer just out of spite.

thanks for this article, it made me cry...

I still miss my grandma terribly, and it has been almost 30 years...i never got to see her or say goodbye

[I Have A Dream]

4. FirstLight, do it now. Talk to your grandma now.

She's there. Honest. Say everything to her that you wish that you'd had an opportunity to do in person.

:hug::hug::hug:

[FirstLight]

6. I do...alot

I firmly believe she is a guardian angel and is with me much of the time :hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

5. I was with my grandmother and my mother when they died,

and both of them had seen visions of people who had passed on. My son seemed to communicate that he was ready to greet his grandmother, too, and it definitely is something I believe to be true. Death is so sad on this side, because we miss them so much, but I believe on the other side there is a beautiful homecoming and loving reunion.

This is a great article, IHAD!

[rumpel]

7. Thank you, Dream

I also think small children sometimes can see the visitors at deathbeds, which can only validate what they are seeing.

[get the red out]

8. My Dad found out at 4:30 this morning

When he would occasionally drift into sleep with me in the room over the past few days he would sometimes start trying to say something but I couldn't make out what it was, like he was talking to someone then it would stop and he would sleep some.

This morning I was called at my hotel at 2PM and told to come to the hospital right then. I called family and my Mom got my Aunt and Uncle to bring her the 1 1/2 hour drive. I waited in the lobby of the hospital for them to get there and when they finally did, as we approached the elevators we heard a code blue called for the second floor. When we exited the elevators we met a nurse looking for us because Dad had just died, (as Mom arrived at the hospital).

This hospital is in the eastern part of Kentucky and they have a policy of never having anything on the numerous public tv's but Fox News. You can't even change the channel, it won't change. During my Dad's hospital stays we would quietly turn of TVs around us so we didn't have to put up with spew under those conditions (I wouldn't apologize to God himself for that either, not in this lifetime). Well this morning when I entered the hospital the lobby TV was blaring the Fox spew as usual. But when I came down to wait and meet my family the TV was mysteriously turned off, I had never seen that TV turned of at any time unless I turned it off. Not a soul in sight and no hateful spew on the TV. I'm sorry, but that means something to me, and who/whatever turned that hateful thing off, THANK YOU.



:cry: Kentucky lost a fine liberal Democrat this morning.

[LaurenG]

9. I am so sorry for your loss gtro

:hug:

[I Have A Dream]

10. gtro, I'm so sorry. I know how much you love your dad.

I hope that you can still feel his presence. I thank the Universe for the gift that you were given in reference to the television; signs like this really do make a difference.

I'm asking that the Universe help your father to cross over quickly and easily. I'm sure that many loving arms await him.

:hug::hug::hug:

:loveya:

[get the red out]

11. Thanks Lauren and IHAD

I can use all the help from the Universe that I can get. This feels like crap.

[Sanity Claws]

12. My condolences

GTRO, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he is already doing things from the other world to make this world better.

[mysticalchick]

14. So sorry, GTRO

Even when you know it's coming, it still sort of blindsides you. I wish you and your family peace at this time.

(And I love the story about the news channel. I suspect it WAS a message to you.)

[catzies]

15. So very sorry for your abrupt loss and I hope you and your family find peace

and comfort during this terrible time. :cry:

My father has about a month left, and last week I got to say goodbye and was reflecting last night how lucky I am that I got to do that; so many people don't get the chance.

Blessings to you in your time of loss. :hug:

[rumpel]

18. catzies, I can not even imagine

what you are going through..

:grouphug:

[Kookaburra]

16. Peace to you and your family GTRO

May you find comfort in your memories and love for your father and each other.

[rumpel]

17. I am so sorry for your loss, gtro..

I am sure he departed, knowing he was loved.

Light to you.

:grouphug:

[Kind of Blue]

19. Please accept my condolences, GTRO.

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. I pray for peace and the joy of having known your Dad to be of great comfort in the coming days and years, that soon you will be able to smile and laugh when you think of him. Bless you and your family, Dear Girl.

[japple]

21. Dear GTRO, I am so sorry about your Dad. It sounds like he was

a wonderful man. Asking the Universe to send peace and comfort to your family and a swift passage for your Dad. I know he will be greeted by many souls who are happy to welcome him into the next plane.

I am so happy to read about the TV set being turned off. I work in a hospital and the lobby/lounge/cafeteria sets are always tuned to Fox. It's very discouraging, but whenever we eat lunch and anyone asks "what do you want to watch?" I always answer, "anything but Fox."

[northernlights]

22. no words, gtro

just :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

23. I'm so sorry for your loss, gtro.

It's so hard to lose your dad, and it will take a long time to grieve him, I know. It sounds like he was helping out with the Fox situation and letting you know he's ok. Lots of love and peaceful energy coming your way during this sad time. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

24. ...

:hug:

Keeping you in my prayers, GTRO. Sending comforting light for you and your family.

[OneGrassRoot]

27. More hugs sent your way GTRO.....

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[catzies]

30. I hope each passing day for you lessens your pain a little bit more

:hug:

[I Have A Dream]

13. I just received the following E-mail about a teleseminar Wed., June 30th

Subject: You are invited to a free teleseminar Wed June 30 5 pm Pacific
Have you ever wondered if there is 'life after death?"
Research scientist, Julie Beischel, PhD shares her work with IONS' Senior Scientist, Dean Radin in this teleseminar, tomorrow at 5:00pm (Pacific time). Be on the call to ask her your questions!!!

Click here to register free: http://www.facebook.com/l/921168iqVSqIiWnO5fAZrcF1eHw;dld.bz/jAAy

(Clicking on the link doesn't work from this post because of the semicolon, but it seems to work if you cut and paste the entire URL into the web browser.)

Can mediums talk to the dead? Can you? Dr. Julie Beischel, who performs rigorously controlled research investigating the accuracy of the information mediums report and systematic studies of their experiences during ostensible communication with the deceased. But are they really talking to the dead? Dr. Beischel will discuss what she has found during her research with mediums and the importance of those findings for each of us.

[Delphinus]

20. Thanks, Dream.

Just registered.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

25. July is a problem for me. Especially this year.

My older sister died on July 12, 1990, at the tender age of 42, from cancer. She was a vibrant young woman. It destroyed me, it destroyed mom and dad. She was my best friend. I don't think either of my parents processed it before they died. I don't think there is any way to get over burying a child.

My father died on July 23, 2000. He was almost 89, so he had a good run. He had cancer and decided he had lived long enough.

I wonder about the timing of his death. Karen's funeral was on Monday the 16th, and dad passed away ten years and one week after her funeral.

The only direct relative I have left is my grown daughter.

[I Have A Dream]

26. Peace and love to you, MoL.

:grouphug:

[Grateful for Hope]

28. I have a dear friend who died from AIDS.

She was also diagnosed as 'multiple personality' as a result of severe childhood abuse.

When she was in the hospital just before she died, her brother told me that she said (she saw herself as a multiple person) "We are waiting because there are other people who need to take the taxi up to God before us. We will be next". She died shortly thereafter.

[I Have A Dream]

29. Wow.

It's all such a mystery...