I don't know what to do.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

Problem:
My dear friend (3 generations of family friendship growing up) invited me to Thanksgiving dinner in Houston.

However, her house is a mess, not big enough for many people and she does not have a working stove. She has a microwave and a turkey roaster. She has a stove and I asked her if it worked. She said "the gas was cut off and I don't have the money to wire the place for 220." She has a husband who I think comes and goes and I do not know if he is working or not. I assume that if he is working he could do something about the stove but he has a whole lot of problems and her life has been a soap opera ever since I've known her, the farthest back I can remember is about 1960. Her mom is extremely bright but wacky as well (dropped out of Rice University, math major, and had my friend as her oldest child).

She wants everyone to bring something from home. I really don't think she can pull off a dinner without a stove. She was planning on eight or ten guests.

I live in the middle of east Texas and I am 150 miles from Houston and Dallas.

I have invited my friends here from Austin, Houston and Dallas, several times. Including Thanksgiving. What happens is I end up fixing lots of food and nobody shows up. It is nearly impossible to get people up here on weekends.

DUer Kentauros has been to my house. (He's a nice guy!)

However, people in Texas don't seem to mind driving long distances so I don't see why 2-1/2 hours' drive is a big deal. I guess people are too busy working. I'm retired.

The only close relative i have is my grown daughter who does not have a car & rides a bicycle around Houston (a dangerous thing to do). DH has two grown boys in Tulsa he is not especially close to.

:shrug:

So it's either not enough room, and not enough cooking facilities, or my place with lots of room, an adequate kitchen, and nobody showing up.

[OneGrassRoot]

1. The first scenario nearly gives me a panic attack just reading about it...

:rofl:

I don't "do" confined social gatherings well. I actually enjoy the holidays because I'm usually alone, and I do Meals-on-Wheels the whole time.

I'm weird though. ;)

Just because of my dislike of cramped social gatherings, I definitely lean toward your latter option. But I hear you...not an easy decision.

Hopefully she'll get plenty of people even if you don't show, and maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised by people making the drive this year?

:shrug:

:hug:

[kentauros]

2. I'd show up to your place if I didn't have family in Central Texas

:)

How about getting people to show at her place and then have a caravan back to your place? That way, you get the people and the space, plus, you have some room there if some want to stay the night, if you don't mind that.

The alternative is to go to your friend's place this coming weekend, box up the mess (she can unbox it all later), order a pre-baked turkey and have it there, or find a place open for business Thursday, like Black-Eyed Pea, and do without all the hassle :)

The Houston Press might have some suggestions, too...

[OneGrassRoot]

3. omg, I miss the Black-Eyed Pea...

Haven't seen one of those since I moved away from Texas ages ago. I kept thinking they'd expand into the Southeast.

Yummmmm..............

[kentauros]

4. I didn't know you used to live here.

But yeah, Black-Eyed Pea does Thanksgiving for those that don't, won't or can't go through the hassle of making a big dinner. I don't think they offer anything but sliced meat, so no drumsticks and the like.

Another option are the cafeterias. I don't know if Cleburne still does Thanksgiving or not, but I've been told they're one of the best. http://blogs.houstonpress.com/eating/2009/11/cleburnes_lubs.php

[OneGrassRoot]

5. Yep, lived around the Dallas area throughout the 80's. :) n/t

[Kookaburra]

8. Used to be one here in Charlotte, but

it's gone now. Not much survives in Charlotte. This place has the worst city planners on earth.

[OneGrassRoot]

9. Raleigh, too. Not much stays here, or flourishes, except churches. ;) n/t

[kimmerspixelated]

11. My same exact thoughts. MMM... the Black Eyed Pea!!!!

[kentauros]

12. Jeez, how many Texans or ex-Texans do we have in this group?

:P

:hi:

http://www.theblackeyedpea.com
I see they're in Tennessee, too. So, find a reason to go to Tennessee and refresh your memories and tastebuds :9

[kimmerspixelated]

16. Native here, hoping to get back...

We're everywhere! We're everywhere!!!

[I Have A Dream]

6. That's tough.

I don't think that I could make myself go unless my going would really, really matter.

Sorry that you have this dilemma, MoL. :(

[Celebration]

7. think I would go with Houston

You already know that people won't make the two and a half hour drive to go to your house. Why bother? Unless you have some people who live much closer than that to invite, I sure wouldn't go to the trouble to cook Thanksgiving dinner for people that don't show up. BTW, a two and a half hour drive sounds like a big deal to me, and I did used to live in Texas.

I think you'll have to take dessert or salad.....something not cooked. If you go to Houston, you can drop in on your bicycle riding daughter too.

If you don't like that option, and really love to cook, maybe you can volunteer someplace that serves food to the homeless or something on that day.

I used to drive my daughter to Rice through Marshall all the time. Are you anywhere near Marshall? Love the pottery place there. I need some more salad bowls and mugs. That place broke up the trip.

[SheilaT]

10. I can't get over

envisioning a turkey cooked in a microwave.

You need to do what feels right for you. For me, what you've described sounds like something I would take a pass on.

Surely you know people where you actually live who can come over, or from whom you can wangle an invite.

I'd go to your house except I'm in NM, and I will be working Thanksgiving Day. Don't feel sorry for me, as I'll only be working from 4pm to 8pm because I couldn't convince management at the hospital where I work the information desk that they should have me on from 9am to 8pm, since the volunteers who normally work from 9am until 4pm are understandably not working on the holiday.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

13. Don't have many friends in E Texas.

It is so conservative here. We do not go to church. Everyone's social life revolves around church and high school sports. We are Unitarians and don't have a church to go to.

The only friends we have here are a black family that my family has known for several decades. The matriarch is 80 years old and we have adopted her as our mom, since our moms are dead. She was my grandmother's maid decades ago.

A couple of weekends ago she came over for a steak dinner. Her adopted daughter picked at her food (she's pregnant so i guess she has morning sickness) and her grandson showed up and said he wanted something sweet. I didn't have any dessert. I told him I had cupcake mix and he could go to the store and get me some frosting and I'd be glad to make some cupcakes.

He disappeared before the steak was served. I was told he had to get a ride someplace.

So I was wondering what the hell happened.

I am way south of Marshall. Nowhere near there.

I came up with an alternative: I am going to call another couple that lives in Pasadena and they have a working kitchen and ask them if they'd like us to come cook there. The husband doesn't get along with the wife's sisters at all, so they may not have a dinner to go to.

[SheilaT]

14. Oh, boy.

How very difficult to live in a place where you're so isolated.

Maybe someday you can move somewhere that will have more people like you.

I am very fortunate to live in a place with lots of people like me (Santa Fe, NM), and I would have no problem getting an invite to a Thanksgiving Dinner if I wanted. Since I'll be working from 4pm to 8pm I still haven't decided what I'll do before I go to work. I may take myself to a movie.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

17. i'm retired.

DH and I moved up here a couple years ago out of Houston. I need the income from my house in Houston as a rental. The price was right. I inherited this neat old house on 2 acres from my mother. It's been in my family for quite a few decades. When I was a kid my grandparents lived here and I came up here a lot. It's been challenging but fun to clean it out and move things around to fit our needs.

I grew up in Houston and am used to having lots of things to do, since Houston is the fourth largest city in the U.S. We have to go to Houston, Dallas or OKC every few months to do our shopping and get some culture. Fortunately we have the time and money to do so.

[Dora]

15. My two cents...

Going to Houston affords you the opportunity to help a friend in need, instead of being alone at home and feeling put out that others won't make the drive to see you. A 2.5 hour drive isn't a big deal to you, so go ahead and make the drive to Houston and be there for your friend. You'll also be able to see your daughter, which you couldn't do if you stayed home. I think an adequate meal can be done with a roaster and a microwave, especially if people are bringing potluck.

If it was my decision, I'd go early (maybe the day before), help her clean and get some simple preparations made, and enjoy the dinner. Maybe enlist daughter's help, and if not, have a separate time with her. Then I'd leave after Thanksgiving dinner, in time to get me home for some needed solo time on the couch with a book or a movie and a bowl of popcorn.

[eilen]

18. It sounds like A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

Do what makes you feel good. You can always drive to Houston and help make dinner for your daughter at her place. I admire her for biking Houston.

[orleans]

19. have you decided yet?

i'd probably stick my daughter on a train and i'd stay home. but i don't travel well. and i like being home.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

20. We ended up not going anywhere.

DH was in serious pain last week.

Turns out he has an abscessed tooth that needs attention. Took him to the dentist last Monday, who sent him to the doctor b/c his BP was too high. He went to the doc Tuesday, got his BP meds, and I am taking him to my dentist in Houston who knows what she's doing, this week.

My dentist took out all my Hg fillings a few years ago, and replaced them with Cerex. She also removed two root canal teeth, cleaned out the infected roots with antibiotics, and gave me a bridge. She cleaned out the wisdom teeth holes from age 18, and they also had anaerobically infected ligaments.

I don't know why other dentists don't do the stuff she does. I personally want to strangle anybody who uses the term "silver filling" because it is misleading as hell and sounds good. Silver kills germs. Mercury is a neurotoxin. It should not be in anyone's teeth.

[kentauros]

21. Oh, I hope he gets healed soon!

Both from his doctor and your dentist :)

I use a "natural" dentist, too, and she's getting the mercury fillings out of my mouth as I can afford to get that done. Cerex is an amazing material; it really should be used all times instead of anything else. And you see the sceptics around DU dismissing colloidal silver, yet an alloy (amalgam) of silver and mercury is considered safe? All metal wears down, and it's not getting spit out when it does that, either...

I'd never heard about the holes from wisdom-tooth extractions getting infected later on. I guess it all depends on how the original dentist did the extraction and healing/rebuilding afterwards.

Let us know how it all goes for him and I'm sorry y'all didn't get to have a normal Thanksgiving. Give your thanks that you are getting him into better health as will I :hug:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

22. We got back Friday night from Houston.

The dentist took out two infected teeth and they cleaned his gums on the right side of his mouth, where his bad teeth were.

If they take out wisdom teeth and leave the ligaments in they can get infected. Those and root canals tips too. Root canals are filled with gutta percha which is a rubberlike material that is germy. Other dentists don't disinfect the holes. She told me there are 12 kinds of bacteria that can infect your gums/roots/holes. The anaerobic ones are especially bad -- anaerobic bacteria like sealed places, things like tetanus, botulism, salmonella. Bad stuff. Even the bugs from gum disease can give you heart trouble.

He had it done Thurs. afternoon and I watched the whole thing!! They also put in some powdered bone for a bone graft, and then little wads of collagen that looked like rice grain shaped pieces of cotton. That will provide a framework for the new bone cells to grow on. I thought that was fascinating!!! (I'm a frustrated surgeon - I love to cut and sew).

Ray is drinking liquid campbell's soup and feeling MUCH better. I told him that after I got my root canal teeth pulled, I was lying in bed resting and realized I could THINK FASTER. That flabbergasted me. He said he's a much happier camper knowing he's gotten the best care possible in Houston. He had not seen a dentist in 20 years. He'll have to go back in a couple weeks to finish the gum scraping.

She is a member of www.iaomt.org and her name is Marilyn K. Jones, DDS. She is on Bering Drive on the west side between Woodway and San Felipe.

The docs have found out a lot lately between gum disease, inflammation, heart trouble and auto-immune diseases and how all that stuff is related.