and I love what you shared. All of it. And I can't wait to start following your blog. :hug:
Still not sure how to respond, as it takes more energy and time than I have at the moment, so I'll just ramble a wee bit, following my heart to share what I think may be most pertinent here. I'm actually going to copy and paste my reply to another ASAHer when I was asked about my "mentor,"
Anita Roddick.
One thing I think is important to acknowledge is that we're all very different personality types, and have different perspectives, perceptions and approaches based on our life experiences. One of the reasons I am the way I am is because I grew up surrounded by complacency...nonstop whiny complacency and apathy, without the thought to try to improve it in any way. Maybe there was a lack of hope. I don't know what lack leads to that life perspective, but whatever it is, I reject it. I could never inspire those around me when I was younger to have hope and work toward it; they chose to remain mired in their disappointments and worldview and put their energy into complaining nonstop. C'est la vie.
I can have compassion for it to an extent, but after a while, when people repeatedly choose to stay mired in their wallowing, I wish them well and must detach. It's a waste of my energy, as I see it because, as an empath, I take on others' feelings entirely too much and detaching is survival after a certain point for me.
Honestly, while most of my efforts in this life thus far aren't a
waste of energy, per se -- as I fully recognize and have incorporated lessons along the way -- I have yet to feel a sense of belonging or cohesion or unity about anything solid in this world, our day-to-day existence. I rarely feel my energy level is amplified. For example, when we all join together with common intent (like during a presidential campaign, for example) and support one another's efforts with a common focus and work TOWARD something, our energy often increases. I find my energy is usually going out, with rarely anything coming back in...so I have to pace my efforts and realize I "work" in cycles.
I feel a sense of unity with everyone here at ASAH regarding spiritual matters, but I don't feel a sense of unity about daily, concrete activities of daily living with anyone, anywhere thus far, because we are all very different personality types and go about being and doing in this world differently. I think that's a beautiful thing and I celebrate different ways of being and creating in this world, yet I admit I long for something more as far as my daily life and how I choose to create my life.
That's just me, personally.
Someone here asked something recently that triggered a realization that I have never felt at home here. When I say "here," I mean everywhere...anywhere. Maybe I've never felt truly at home on this planet, or in my own skin. I can't define it. I have never felt I belong or really connect with groups of people in a profound way beyond a few souls at any given point in my life. Of course, that started young, as I never felt part of my biological or adopted families. I'm sure many here resonate with that life experience. ;)
So, regarding my path, while the first part of my life was the stereotypical Virgo, with extreme attention to detail, there was a creative, visionary aspect that I couldn't squelch. Very clear, exciting visions would come forth in dreams; even when I prayed for the dreams to stop unless Spirit was going to show me HOW to implement these dreams (how could I implement any of these things on my own?), they kept coming. I've often gotten really angry about it.
At the heart of anything and everything I get passionate about, is the desire to alleviate suffering (for those who choose to no longer suffer) and empower as many souls as possible. When we feel empowered, when we have hope, anything is possible. It is then that we can dream a new world and make it a reality.
I have rarely found those who join me in this, not in a solid, concrete "doing" way. Oh, they're out there, and there are wonderful people doing amazing things to create a better world, but -- for whatever reason (and trust me, I've meditated and prayed and pondered for decades about it, with no "aha" moment as yet) -- I have a hard time finding them and connecting with them. I don't know why, it's just the way it is right now and I'm not trying to understand any longer. It is what it is. ;)
(edit to add here that my perception, and that's all it is, is that when I find these others doing wonderful things and reach out, there is a disconnect. Most of the men push me away (again, that's my perception); women either don't "get" what I'm proposing or they are territorial. Please also keep in mind that I approach them by asking how can we work together, even asking how I can help THEIR work and mission, not asking them to help ME. I used to ask others to help me, but I turned it around, as I am not territorial at all. Still, I get the same response...or lack thereof. Just sayin'...in case anyone was wondering as they read)
One of the reasons Wishadoo! was created was to provide a space for others such as myself, who feel disconnected and don't have a support system, to reach out and connect with one another directly, not only about needs, but about wishes and dreams. Indeed, it is the connections about wishes and dreams that sparks my joy and is where my heart lies in this project.
No, I am not close to releasing my job that puts food on the table and keeps a roof over our heads, even though I, like many, continue to live paycheck to paycheck, haven't had insurance for over a decade, and haven't had a vacation since the late 80's (I shit you not). I feel I essentially have three full-time jobs and have for 18 years: 1) work-work; 2) my daughter; 3) working to create my dream.
I can't imagine NOT continuing to work toward my dream, no matter how difficult and brutalizing it is at times. If I lose that, I lose hope. If I lose hope, I have nothing. I've lost me.
One step at a time, taking life one minute at a time.
Here is the copy and paste to give more insight into one of the more profound events in my life: connecting with someone I admire tremendously, Anita Roddick. Even though she has now passed, her belief in me, and what I was working toward, continues to fuel my desire to keep going and not give up.
It's also why I feel that, sometimes, the most powerful gift we can give another is to believe in them when they no longer believe in themselves. I hope I can offer that to others when they've lost faith in themselves and in Humanity.
My Anita story:
When I started "waking up" in the mid to late 80's, paying attention to health, wellness, the environment, etc., I was always super focused on business adhering to a sense of responsibility. I mean, I was an entrepreneur right out of college, so being mindful as a businessperson has been utmost in my awareness for over 20 years.
One of the very first companies I became aware of -- right along with Ben & Jerry's, Seventh Generation and a few other stalwarts, was The Body Shop.
I followed Anita Roddick and just absolutely loved everything she did and stood for. She was much ballsier and "mavericky" than me though...simply in personality type....but our goals were the same: to do well while doing good and, perhaps more importantly, showing how it can be done. Leading by example.
When my community philanthropy idea started to take shape in the mid'90's, I started to try to reach those of like mind who may want to join me in this rather large vision, even if it's implemented piecemeal (shit, I'm still looking...lol...I'm either insane or inspired, not sure which).
Somehow, and I don't recall how, but I reached Anita around '99. We emailed regularly and spoke on the phone several times. She was VERY encouraging. She kept saying to not quit trying...that "the business world and consumers aren't ready to embrace your vision yet; it will take about 15 years from now."
I always wanted to introduce corporations and those with resources to their integrity via this community philanthropy approach. One aspect of this is to create a brand which consumers would look at and know it is full of integrity, compassion, community good, social and environmental responsibility, etc. But a brand that encompasses a variety of products and services, not just one thing as The Body Shop does (cosmetics/body care). A brand which is the antithesis of a "brand." A truly grassroots, microenterprise, cooperative venture that empowers anyone who chooses to be involved.
She said she wished she was 20 years younger, as she'd love to join me in creating this, as she felt it was a rather Herculean effort (but to me it was so straightforward and simple and couldn't understand why others didn't "get" it! LOL). I found out later -- though she never mentioned it -- that she wasn't well. Hep-C. She couldn't join me in this challenge in the physical world.
I still feel Anita supporting me, encouraging me to keep working toward my dreams and try to find those who not only resonate, but are ready to join together with common intent and vision to manifest all of our dreams...together. We are each one piece of this universal puzzle as I see it. ;)
Anita inspires me, as does my daughter. My daughter is a skeptic and has watched me work nonstop truly her entire life, working toward creating a better world, and a better, less stressful life for us. She doesn't have much hope that it will change. So, I'm determined to show her it can.
She IS inspired by the I CHOOSE Campaign idea, so that's encouraging...as though I'm on the right track. Maybe. ;)
Now, if I can ever get reliable programming help to help me move forward.....
That's a big part of my story, and why I do what I do and what my dreams are all about.
:grouphug:
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