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You know that Golden Rule discussion we had recently?

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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 05:52 AM
Original message
You know that Golden Rule discussion we had recently?
If it wasn't here, my apologies. Can't keep track of things these days. ;)

But there was a recent discussion about The Golden Rule being the most logical guiding "rule" within our society. While I agree, I also tend to hesitate a bit when giving it more than surface-level thought, and I realized it's because I'm not so sure religious fundamentalist types (which I'm surrounded by) want to be treated as I would like to be treated. They're just one example of this.

This whole "treat others as you want to be treated" can be very subjective and dicey, if we think about it on a very human, practical -- not soul -- level.

I just realized that, as psychobabble 101 it sounds, it TRULY comes down to people loving and respecting themselves first. Only then can The Golden Rule be effective. If people loathe themselves or live in fear, disguised as hate and anger, they want to be treated in a way that most of us wouldn't perceive as very loving. And they want the same for others.

People have to open their hearts to themselves and be compassionate with themselves first and foremost.

Just a duh moment that I'm sharing this morning.

:grouphug:

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Proud_Lefty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 09:57 AM
Response to Original message
1. Don't remember seeing this conversation before
I agree, OGR. I always lived by this golden rule and over the past several years, I've had to re-visit it and re-evaluate it. The first problem I realized with it is that I actually treat people better than I ever treat myself. The second problem is that I find myself expecting people to treat me the way I would treat them and when they don't, which is more often than not, I'm having a petty hissy fit about that person and play the part of the victim. Only recently have I learned to pull back and realize their priorities or values are different than mine and it's plain silly for me to expect them to handle a situation like I would. I always have to remind myself of this and not allow my feelings to be hurt. The first part, though, treating myself as good as I do other people, is one I'm still struggling with.

Funny how it sounded so good for so long and lately, it seems to fall so short from the original concept. Thanks for bringing it up.

:hi:
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Such good points, Proud_Lefty...
You bring up a great point with the "expectation" aspect.

We know how expectations go.... :eyes:

I think an article from a couple of weeks ago is what spurred this conversation originally (wherever that took place...lol), as it spoke of needing a national "moral contract."

I wondered what such a moral contract would look like? People naturally responded regarding The Golden Rule being easy and straightforward and able to be understood and embraced by most people.

But then these other questions were raised as I contemplated The Golden Rule more, as far as it being practiced, not just theory. I can over analyze the living shit out of the most basic concepts. Trust me, I drive myself crazy, so I know I drive others crazy.

;)

It would be so nice to have some sort of guidebook, wouldn't it? "Dummies 101: How to be a Decent Human Being."

:shrug:

I think Rick is spot on when he said I'm a Virgo which embodies Chiron, "the wounded healer." I try to just focus on what's in front of me...helping one by one (and how to help myself!)...but thoughts and questions about how to begin to heal humanity as a whole, and what steps can be taken to initiate a larger-scale healing, are as intrinsic to my existence as breathing. I can't seem to shut it off no matter how hard I try.

I realize it sounds simultaneously arrogant and naive and perhaps delusional to want to save the world. I don't feel I should or that I'm responsible for doing so; it's simply a lifelong soul desire for us, as a whole, to "do better."

So, as I continue along this circuitous journey, I share my questions and musings, hoping one day to feel I've arrived at SOME solid realization along the way. ;)

:hug:

:grouphug:


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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 10:59 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. I have that same soul desire.
..and I'm a Cancer-Leo. Except I want us all to have a big party together,and be glad to see each other, LOL.
I think that's what unites us here :)
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 11:05 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. ....
:grouphug:

A celebration would be soooooooo wonderful. A celebration, knowing all the suffering and extreme crises are behind us.

Ahhhhhh........that would be so divine!

:grouphug:

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Kookaburra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
3. You're so right
Having spent a few years under the influence of fundies, I can tell you that their mixed message to the lowly followers is so confusing, it's no wonder these folks are bat shit crazy:

Basically what I came out of it believing is you're not good enough, and don't deserve anything unless you believe unquestioningly like we believe, and then you deserve everything, and if you're not getting everything you want you must not believe it with all your heart and in the right way.

Confusing? Yes. Is it any wonder Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin, etc. are so chockfullofnuts?
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. Confusing....and scary
The batshit crazy seems to be running rampant right now, as the fear increases.

I'm hoping it's the last gasp.

I'm hoping for miracles.

I'm hoping....for so many things.
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EnlightenedOne Donating Member (452 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
7. What would "love" do
This is a message I learned from one of the books I have read - I'm thinking it was from the "Conversations with God" books (Neale Donald Walsh) - EXCELLENT READING!!! Life changing for me.

So, I think of this whenever I'm in a dilemma, or when I want to tell someone off, or whatever the circumstance may be. I ask myself what would love do, and then I know when I respond in love, things always work out perfectly. Not that its always easy, but I try.

But you guys are right - it is/was a very, very difficult journey learning to love oneself because no one knows our flaws and downfalls better than we. Its easier and habit-forming to just contstantly beat ourselves up, but I have learned finally to love me, flaws and all.
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. I remember reading his books....
:)

:hi:

I think I'm in an especially odd frame of mind, because -- as much as Love is a guiding principle for me (see graphic :)) -- I even have the thought today that "love" means something different to each person.

I don't know that there is any concept which is truly universal.

I think it would be fascinating to explore with a variety of people -- of different backgrounds and perspectives -- what love means to them: love for self, love for others, love for the Earth.

And a similar discussion about respect, reverence, compassion, and so on.

In the "sacred heart space" meditation I did recently, I was able to get there by tapping into a moment in my life that was pure divine bliss, when I felt my heart was wide open.

If each person could find one moment, one memory -- even if it's the only moment in his/her life that they felt blissful and WHOLE -- and we immersed ourselves in the feeling of our unique "moment" and responded to challenges from that space, I wonder if we could find a universal language then, and create a new understanding and connection with one another.

I think I'm sliding down the rabbit hole again...:rofl:

Nice to see you, EO!

:hug:

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EnlightenedOne Donating Member (452 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. You are so amazing
I am ashamed to say - but also incredibly delighted that it even happened, that I have only reached that "Nirvana" stage a few times in meditation - but WOW - when you do....!!!!!! Its better than sex, its such a deep feeling of love, certainly nothing I've felt for another human being, no matter how much I love my daughter, family, friends and pets. Its just an amazing, wonderful feeling, which is how I suppose we would feel when we die.

I took care of my ex-mother-in-law who had Alzheimer's until the day she died and I was with her when she died and she was in a coma, but I will never forget - she woke up (sorta) suddenly and said - "ALL THERE IS IS LOVE - THIS IS AMAZING", and that was it, she died a few minutes later. So, I was so happy to have that confirmation of everything that I have ever read - that really its all there is. So many of us unfortunately react with the polar opposite of love - fear/hate, paranoia, selfishness, want/greed, etc. However, I absolutely think that the emotion of love is "universal" in that we are all capable of loving, its just a matter of if we choose to.

My wonderful cat Maxx, who was given to me and I took on (although I always thought I was more of a dog person) - I am so in love with this cat, its unbelievable. And when I sit and think about how much I love him - mostly at night when I go to bed (because I know he's going to be right there in a minute) - its like he knows what I'm thinking (or senses it or feels it or whatever) because he will get as close as he possibly can to me and will lick my hand. Animals are incredible - sometimes I think that's all they are is just pure unconditional love.

Hey - I'll slide down that rabbit hole anytime with you!!
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I am SO with you about the animals being unconditional love.....
ABSOLUTELY!

And I remember you sharing that elsewhere, about your ex-MIL. What a fantastic confirmation!!! ALL THERE IS IS LOVE.

Just wow.....I had angelbumps when you shared in another thread, and I have angelbumps again.

Thank you. :hug:

Here are my two current babies (though I have quite a few who have passed on and I hope to see again :)):

Buddha and Magick




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EnlightenedOne Donating Member (452 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Geez!!!
I did not know I had already told that story here recently!!! But whatever, it is important.

Your two cats are the exact same colors as mine!! Maxx is a persian and I just recently took in a kitten whose mother abandoned him (because she was pregnant again), so the poor little thing started sleeping on my back porch and he had obviously been in some bad scuffles, so I just took him in and he's the exact same colors (as yours & Maxx) - and now I have the mama and her baby girl living on my porch in a cat house my daughter made. But, they've got to go... seriously, or I've got to figure out a way to get them fixed. And they are using my flower beds as their litter box, and I'm not at all happy about that.
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kimmerspixelated Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 05:29 PM
Response to Reply #7
18. I can resonate with your experience.
That book is definitely on my reading list. I wonder if my library has it??
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SheilaT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
9. My intention in life is to treat others with
dignity and respect. At all times. It's similar to, although not exactly the same as the Golden Rule, and the two don't preclude each other.

I don't always succeed in treating others so well, but I'm working at it. My main problem is my contempt for the right wing, which is definitely not treating them with dignity and respect.

I try to remind myself that we are all divine souls, we all have a divine purpose to our lives, it helps.
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 02:21 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. What I'm wondering is how to get others to do the same....

People who aren't inclined to be introspective, people who are afraid of words like "empathy" and "compassion" (though they act disgusted and angry about the words, I know it's because they're afraid). Well, let's just say most of the Tea Party peeps.

;)

How can they be encouraged to tap into their hearts, short of crisis and calamity?

It's easy with us. We think about this stuff and talk about it and are mindful of others all the time.

How to reach those who have closed hearts and closed minds? That's what I'm always pondering.

:hi:



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japple Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 03:09 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. I think the only thing you can do for folks whose hearts and minds
are closed is to pray for them, sending them love and light.
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EnlightenedOne Donating Member (452 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. I agree
and realize that everyone is on their own path - for whatever reason - and you just have to let them have their own experiences and know that they will get it eventually, when they are ready. However, I would never hesitate to point out the truth or try and gently educate, but more times than not, they are very resistent to hearing anything out of their comfort zones. Especially when "religion" tells them to fear learning, searching, or seeking the truth. That's of the devil ya know, supposedly and they are to just take things on "faith".
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SheilaT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 04:42 PM
Response to Reply #10
17. I simply try to use those words out loud
on occasion, to try to let others know what I'm trying to do. I think that all we can do is to set an example.
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kimmerspixelated Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 05:39 PM
Response to Reply #9
19. Yes, we are all divine souls,
The problem is, most folks don't have a clue what that really is. The religious right think they are tuned in because they attend church every Sunday, but they still fail to really grasp what we were meant to be. I'm reading "The Nine Dimensions of Consciousness" by Barbara Hand Chow, and it is fascinating, the history of where we've been, where we're meant to go. These are exciting times...the religious right will be quite shocked when events toward true enlightenment surface.

It is hard to tolerate folks that seem to be part of the fear based groups, I know. I struggle too.

I think most of us here on this forum are in the know about who we really are inside, and I must express gratitude once more for such kindred spirits!:grouphug:
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BanzaiBonnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 04:07 PM
Response to Original message
16. Always be as kind as you can
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 05:57 PM
Response to Original message
20. Not "duh" at all.
Our relationship to ourselves has long been overwhelmed by the deliberately destructive demands of some churches, organizations, governments, advertising, etc. It's most of what our "society" is based upon. Now it begins to heal and refocus and more people will come to have such realizations. This is part of what I was talking about in my 2011 predictions, that good ideas and better ways of living will begin to become more common, and more searched-out. We are shifting into being a spritual society, and this is part of the trend.
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Manifestor_of_Light Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-27-11 09:43 PM
Response to Original message
21. Most people think they are worthless because of original sin.
Which is abusive and pernicious. Most people are either doormats who have been told they don't deserve anything good in life, or else they are overbearing narcissists and control freaks who think they should tell everybody else how to live, without a lot of middle ground.

Yes, the Golden Rule is good but people are so messed up in this society that it could be hard to put into practice.
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BanzaiBonnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-11 06:51 AM
Response to Original message
22. My needs first and foremost
From NVC.
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