Bad Emotional Habits and How to Break Them by Donna Cunningham

[Shallah Kali]

http://www.floweressencemagazine.com/blog/?p=619

The Habit of Worry: I once kept a worry box. Each time I was consumed with anxiety about some situation, I wrote it on a piece of paper. I prayed over it and dropped it into the box, making a conscious effort to let go of the fear. At the end of six weeks, I opened the box and read the slips. Out of 26 worries that had been my total reality for hours or days, only one had happened. The other 25 were dimly remembered figments of my imagination. This exercise gave me a new perspective on my anxieties. After that, I was much more able to say a prayer and let go of the fear. (Bach’s White Chestnut is helpful for worry, while Aspen is for anxiety.)

snip

The Habit of Guilt: Many us live in a pervasive aura of worthlessness with nothing concrete to justify it. We might see this situation with a strongly Plutonian person. The gnawing guilt, no longer consciously attached to any particular misdeed, becomes a way of life. It’s there, waiting to fasten onto some current misdemeanor and magnify it. “I shouldn’t have snapped at John. I feel so guilty.” “Why didn’t I offer to drive her home? That was selfish.” If no current transgression can be found, the person who is dogged with guilt can drag something out of the past to chew over. (This type would benefit greatly from a few months of taking Bach’s Pine.)

Chances are, you’ll discover along the way that you’re not such a terrible person after all, that you acted out of immaturity and ignorance, and that you’ve grown enough not to make those mistakes again. Ask whatever form of deity you believe in to forgive you‑‑even if you don’t believe, pretend and do it anyway. Most important, work on forgiving yourself. (Alaskan Flower Essences’ Mountain Wormwood and Alpine Azalea can help you come to self-forgiveness.) After these exercises, we experience a karmic clearing so we no longer carry such a load of guilt or unworthiness.

[SheilaT]

1. I can't even imagine keeping a worry box.

I've never fretted over anything so much that I felt I was consumed by it and thought it worth writing down.

I am constantly amazed at what so many people do to make themselves unhappy.

[Sweet Freedom]

2. I used to worry if I didn't worry!

"Oh no, I'm not worried about something, I better worry about it!!" :)

I didn't even realize how much I did it. I think it was just part of my conditioning growing up. I had to un-learn it.

Now, I'm kind of the opposite, "Eh, don't worry about it." :evilgrin:

[mysticalchick]

3. I would imagine it's similar to a "God box"

And is symbolic of handing your worries over to the Universe (or whatever) so that you aren't dragging them around with you and allowing them to weigh you down.

I'm coming to really understand that taking action in the physical is a big part of shifting the energy. If writing down what worries me (essentially, my entire journal is full of whining and kvetching!) helps move it out of my head, that leaves me clearer to deal with what is important. And therein might lie the answer to the problem.

I'm a writer at heart so pretty much everything I worry about, am happy about, sad about, etc. processes for me through writing. We all process things in our own way. My husband goes to sleep. Works for him. :)

Interesting post, Shallah. Thanks!

[SheilaT]

5. I do sort of understand, but I also see

having a "worry box" or any other negatively entitled box, as a way of empowering the negativity.

This is not to be argumentative, but just to offer my take on things.

[mysticalchick]

6. I think it depends on your intention ...

as with anything. What's the intention of putting all your worries in a box? Is it to move it out of your conscious field or is it to comment every time you open the box that you've got a bizillion things worrying you? If you give power to clearing it from your consciousness, is that giving energy to the negative?

I think you've raised a good question, Sheila. Didn't think you were being argumentative at all and it's really an interesting thing to ponder. I shall go to my ruminating closet forthwith. :)

[SheilaT]

7. Ruminating closet.

Love it!

[Shallah Kali]

9. I learned worry from my Mother who must have learned it from her Mom and Dad

Her own Mom still calls every night and after she just left my Grandmother's house to make sure she got home ok. My Grandpa died when I was little so I don't remember him worrying but I do know from my Mom he had extreme phobias of snakes and spiders yelling in fear at the sight of one. My Dad was a worrier as well but he hid it well behind a stoic exterior. Only when he became ill and he didn't have the strength to hide it any more did I find out how much worry and fear he had hid all those years. Worrying (and phobias) can be learned from parents and other influential people.

I wish I could help my Mom with her worrying. She isn't interested in therapy but I might be able to get her to try a Bach Remedy - Red Chestnut http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/38/redchest.htm

[cate94]

4. I have both of these bad habits

and I appreciate the information.

[Shallah Kali]

11. Glad to help as these are two of my own buggaboos

I think I need a gallon of pine a day



You know how some people sarcastically say 'excuse me for living' - well I really do feel like I need to beg everyone's pardon for living. I feel guilty for existing and utilizing resources someone actually worthy probably needs. Not sure where this came from as my parents never put me down other than the occasional plaint of 'why can't you be more like your sister' on a few subjects like making friends, being less hermit like from social anxiety.

Pine is for those who take responsibility for others mistakes as well as relentlessly bashing themselves over their own minuscule as well as major ones. When re-reading the description of one who would do well to work with Pine I am reminded of a self-help book I read which recounted the story of a psychologist friend of the author's who was skiing on a beginners slope and was knocked flying by an skilled yet reckless skier zipping by. She struggled up out of the snow, got her breath back and yelled "I'm Sorry!" to the jerk who ran into her. Which reminded me of all the times I automatically apologized to people who bumped into me at stores or stepped on my toes and similar. oy. :freak: why do we do this?

I am going to try to tune into the Overlighting Deva of Pine tonight and see if it helps me shift this habit of feeling.

[Fire Walk With Me]

8. Thank you and Donna!

:hug:

[Shallah Kali]

12. YW :-)

hope the info there was helpful :)

[Shallah Kali]

10. a few related links

Healing Pluto Problems by Donna Cunningham - google books searchable excerpts: http://books.google.com/books?id=5JR3Mm82pfwC

Her blog: http://skywriter.wordpress.com/

Flower Essence Magazine: http://floweressencemagazine.com