|
Edited on Tue Feb-22-11 06:37 PM by northernlights
In retrospect, I guess (like all of us) he has been burning karma in preparation for his next adventures, making amends and healing old wounds...I guess that's what brought him to me 3 years ago.
For weeks, in my mind I've been singing solos that were particularly emotionally charged between us. I've sensed he was going through them in his mind as well.
This morning, again in the middle of running the analyzer, it was the Poulenc Gloria. Early on in our relationship, following a big run-in with him (I won't go into the details at this point...long story) in the 1st rehearsal of this piece I sang quietly through the soprano solo. He sometimes would invite the chorus to sing through the solos in an early rehearsal just for fun and to scope out potential soloists, but this time he hadn't invited us because he was hiring a pro. He tried to stop me, but I was singing it to press a point to him and certain powers within the chorus, so I just ignored him and pressed on. He was furious. The more angry he got, the more determined I was. :D My defiance infuriated him I guess; he had no control. Afterwards, the soprano sitting next to me turned to me and said, "That was lovely!" He looked like he was going to kill her...she kind of swallowed the "ly" :rofl: Later on I overheard the men talking about it...how sexy it was (it pitches the lyric soprano floating above the tenors and basses throughout much of the piece. makes me think of a slow dance with a bunch of men carrying a woman over their heads).
Ever since then, whenever I've listened to or sung that solo I have felt that knot...the battle, his anger, my revenge for what he had done earlier.
This morning as it was running through my head, I felt his presence. He told me, "It was so beautiful he could barely stand it." There was no anger, only love. Just pure love between us. I sang it to him over and over. I've felt lightness and relief ever since. It's been running through my head much of the day, although he wandered off after a while. It has new meaning to me now.
I'm hoping that when he's freed from his body we'll be able to connect again more easily. I guess I'll find out later whether he'll want to spend time with or be too busy moving on...
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
